


Written in Our Scars

by Minty_Pixie



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Age Swap, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bullying, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Medical stuff, Romance, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-14 00:55:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 41,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minty_Pixie/pseuds/Minty_Pixie
Summary: In a world where soulmates cannot hurt each other, Jongin has learned words can wound more than knives.But when a new kid shows up at school, he discovers scars are sometimes worth the pain.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!  
> So, this was originally written for the NODTT fest, and after months of pondering (and very good arguments from our lovely Indi), I decided to post it!  
> I fell in love with that prompt (#F10), and I really hope you'll like the story just as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> Let me send a very special thank you to my beta, who put up with me all along! I love you, you're the bestest <3! (she's the one who made me tag this as slight angst....)
> 
> Reminder: The M rating is for graphic depiction of violence!
> 
> You have been warned, so if you're still on board, you can proceed xD.  
> Enjoy!

 

 

The soft sizzling sound of the eggs in the fry pan makes Jongin want to go back to bed. But perfectly in time, the front door opening then closing forces him to shake himself awake, lest he sets the kitchen on fire.  
He doesn’t really have the time to deal with a burning house, this morning.

“Hey dad,” he greets right as the man enters the large kitchen.

“Good morning, Nini Bear,” his father answers, leaning to peck the side of his head.

Jongin isn’t exactly a fan of that habit, nor is he of the childish nickname, but as usual, the tired look on his dad’s face compels his mouth to stay shut.  
It’s not that annoying, anyway.

Jongin’s parents divorced six years ago, when he was twelve. His mom got their old house and the dogs. His dad got Jongin, and a broken heart.

It has only been the two of them since then, so Jongin tends to avoid being too teenagy-moody with his father. Being a single dad with a demanding job in a renowned hospital is complicated enough, even more when he has to see his ex-wife strolling the hallways in her nurse uniform, a smile on her face and a new wedding band on her finger. No need to add a whimsical son to the sad equation.

“How was the night shift?” Jongin asks, checking how the rice is doing on the side.

“Tiring,” his father says, rubbing his eyes, “We had a big emergency surgery, and they needed me.”

“Of course they did. You’re the best.”

“Flattery won’t get you more allowance money, you should know that by now...” his dad smirks, raising an eyebrow.

“At least I tried,” Jongin dramatically sighs, playing along.

“What’s for breakfast?”

“Ah, nothing fancy, sorry,” he answers with an apologetic smile, “I woke up late today.”

“I still feel guilty you have to do everything at home…”

Jongin hears those words so often, it has become a routine.

“It’s okay, dad. You know I don’t mind,” he replies, as he always does, “I’m real husband material now!”

“Yes, you are,” his father chuckles, ruffling Jongin’s messily styled hair and earning an exaggerated groan.

Five minutes later, Jongin is laying a full plate and a glass of water down on the bar counter as his father sits on his usual stool, looking like he wants nothing but crawl in his bed.  
Jongin would gladly go back in his own, too.

“I gotta go, Kris said he wanted us to meet early today,” he however says, already walking out.

He still hears his father’s sigh, before the deep voice warns him, one more time.

“Stay out of trouble, alright?”

“Will do!”

Jongin knows his father isn’t very enthusiastic about his choice of friends, always reminding him he has always been a nice kid, and that Kris and Sehun are bad influences. Jongin usually rolls his eyes.  
Sure, the two are not exactly Kindness and Altruism personified, and they _did_ drag Jongin into problematic situations several times over the last few years. But they are not _that_ bad.  
At least not to him.

The day passes fairly quickly, thanks to his two friends providing a good distraction during and between long boring classes. When he finally gets home, Jongin slumps on the cozy couch with a bag of prawn crackers in hand, yawning as he turns on the television. He flips through the channels, trying to find something entertaining enough that won’t require too much of his plummeting attention. One of the salty snack is still half out of his mouth, stinging his chapped lips, when the voice of the newscaster forces him to focus.

“Let’s stray away from Sports now and go back to today’s headline. We now have more information about the incident that took place in a supermarket in Busan, where a man tried to rob the store earlier this afternoon,” the anchor says, watching straight at the camera with a serious face, “The owners, a couple in their late fifties, attempted to defend themselves and in the chaos, the woman accidentally shot her husband with the handgun they kept under the cashier.”

Jongin’s eyes widen as he watches the woman on his screen. That cannot be good.

“Due to the bond linking their souls,” she continues, “The woman passed out and the old man had to carry his wife to the hospital, nearly bleeding to death on the way. Our field representative was on the scene shortly after and could witness the damages. Yuri?”

The screen gets divided in two, the news studio on the left as the right side shows a young woman, microphone in hand, standing in a street.

“Yes! Indeed, I am standing right outside the supermarket,” she says, nodding, “And as you can see behind me, police officers are still swarming the place, investigating and questioning witnesses.”

“Do we know exactly what happened, there?” the News anchor asks.

A few seconds of delay pass before the field representative nods once more.

“We do!  From what they could gather, the man who robbed the store used the husband to shield himself and the old man was shot in his place. Witnesses saw the woman falling on the ground right after she screamed, suffering the effect of their soulmate bond. Despite his bleeding stomach, her husband rushed to her side and lifted her in his arms, running to the nearest hospital that was thankfully only a few streets away.”

“Fuck,” Jongin breathes out as the screen shows pictures of a pool of blood on the supermarket pristine white floor.

“The couple is still there, as of now,” the young woman adds, the image now shifting to a recording of the entrance of the hospital, sirens ringing in the background, “And the man is being treated for his wound. From the last report, his wife hasn’t woken up yet, but the doctors are expecting them both to recover fully.”

“I see, this is reassuring,” the newscaster says, “Now, did the police find out more about the man who attacked the store?”

Jongin tunes out the voices after hearing about the twenty-four-year old guy who was apprehended and placed in police custody right after the incident.

“This is the fourth time a similar incident happens in the last six months,” the anchor says right before he turns the television off.

Quite alarming, yet not such an uncommon thing, nowadays.

Being a pediatric surgeon, Jongin’s father doesn’t have to deal with this kind of event, but he did, however, back when he was only an intern working in the emergency room. Jongin can still remember the stories his dad told him. Unlike the one he just heard on tv, some of them unfortunately didn’t have a happy ending.

Soulmates have always existed, but at some point in history, hundreds of years before, something changed. Scientists recently managed to determine the responsible was a mutant gene, and although they still cannot explain why it altered itself, it appeared the bastard had been passed on through generations and its consequences had only amplified with time.

Jongin isn’t exactly a top student in biology, but he doesn’t need to be to know things are fucked up.

The fact that your body doesn’t let you physically harm your soulmate should be a good thing, and there surely was a logic reason for that gene to mutate, so long ago.

From what he knows, if you are about to hurt them voluntarily, your mind is supposed to talk you out of it, to give you the opportunity to stop. And if you still go with it, or if it isn’t on purpose, your body somehow takes over and jerks away.

So far, so good, right? Except it doesn’t stop there. If you do end up hurting your soulmate, accidentally or not, _you_ are the one feeling their pain, while they can remain unharmed. Or bleeding to death as _you_ enjoy the aftermath of a bullet piercing their flesh, like he just heard on tv.

And you don’t even feel the pain _people_ cause to your soulmate, only the one _you_ inflict.

Biggest loopholes ever, if you ask Jongin.

Just this doesn’t exactly make him eager to find his own other half.

But as if that wasn’t enough, the stupid mutant gene also apparently forgot to take psychological pain into account.

Jongin knows that too well. He saw his mother throw way too many harsh words to his dad, without her facing any consequences.  
A proof that soulmates don’t always work out, that it isn’t a magic thing that turns a relationship into a fairytale forever.

In Jongin’s mind, it’s just your body telling you “ _Hey, this is the person you’re the least susceptible to wanna murder after spending years with them_.”

You have to work for it. And it doesn’t always end well, as the indent the wedding band left on his dad’s ring finger can attest.

 

——

 

“Yo, I was in the fossil’s office and I saw that new kid people are talking about!” Kris says as he sits at his desk for their first period, the next morning.

“Isn’t it a bit early to already be called by the principal?” Jongin sneers, shaking his head, “What did he want, this time?”

“Pshh, I just fucked a girl from class B and then dumped her,” Kris shrugs, “The bitch went to the counselor and told her shit about me. It ain’t even true but that old rag talked to the principal and the fossil summoned me like he was the boss of me.”

“Did he go again with that ‘ _I know you can do better_ ’ thing?” Sehun snorts, balancing himself on the two back legs of his chair.

“Always an optimistic!”

“So, what about the new kid?” Jongin asks as he takes his notebook from his backpack and places it on the desk.

“Man, you should see him, it’s ridiculous! The dude looks like a fucking owl! He has the most disproportionate eyes I’ve ever seen!”

“Is he cute, though?” Sehun questions, raising an eyebrow.

“He has a good pair of cock-sucking lips. As long as he keeps his eyes shut while he blows me, it ain’t gonna bother me,” Kris answers with a devilish smirk, earning a snort from Jongin and Sehun.

“I can’t believe you’re saying this right after the principal lectured you about the exact same thing,” Jongin comments, rolling his eyes.

“Hey, if he’s any good, I might keep him for more rounds!”

“The kid’s a junior, right?” Sehun asks.

“I think so, why?”

“No reason, just asking. I heard he lived in Canada before.”

“Seulgi told me his family also lived is Busan for a few months before moving here,” Kris adds.

“How does she even know?”

“Hey, you know her,” Kris says, “She’s always on about what everyone and their mother’s dogs are up to.”

“Is that why you keep _her_ for more rounds?” Sehun laughs.

“She can be useful. Her hands surely are!”

“Yeah, I don’t want any details, thanks,” Jongin chuckles with a disgusted face.

Just as Kris opens his mouth, most likely to share some information Jongin does _not_ want to hear, their English teacher enters the room, calling out on Sehun right away.

“Four legs on the ground, Mr. Oh,” she says, and the sound of the two extra metal bars hitting the floor in sync with Sehun’s groan marks the start of yet another day of long classes.

 

It’s only during lunch break Jongin finally sees what all the fuss is about, since every period was filled with his classmates hushering about the new kid.

Life in this school was so uneventful that even something as simple as a transfer student was making everyone overexcited.

Pathetic.

He didn’t catch his name in the gossips, but when he does see him, Jongin has to agree with the others. The boy indeed looks younger than he is supposed to be. So young that Jongin is almost sure his voice must still be breaking.

Seated at a table with Kris and Sehun, his eyes remain locked on the boy as he crosses the cafeteria, casually chatting with a girl Jongin only recalls the nickname of. He knows Joy is a junior, in class A, if he remembers well, so Jongin supposes the new kid must have been assigned there, too.

There is something off with the boy, although Jongin cannot pinpoint what it is. His face is nothing special, although he does have rather large eyes, and he is dressed pretty casually. His plump lips smile politely when he addressed her, and he looks interested when she talks too. His walk, if not overconfident, is still fairly assured, and when they finally sit at a table, the boy even nonchalantly greets students Jongin knows for sure are not in his and Joy’s class.

Nothing out of the ordinary. If anything, he even acts quite composed for someone who just arrived at a new school.

But for some reason, Jongin cannot look away, eyebrows knitted together as he tries to understand what exactly makes him feel like something is wrong.

“Hey, I called dibs on him first,” Kris jokes, giving him a light slap on the back of his head and effectively bringing him back to reality.

“What?”

“The new kid,” he clarifies, “If you wanna bang him, wait for your turn.”

“Unlike you, I don’t jump on everything that looks remotely fuckable, so no, thanks,” he answers, patting his friend’s forearm, “I’m not into recycling your garbage.”

Kris’ obnoxious laughter echoes in the high-ceilinged room, attracting other students’ attention, and Jongin instinctively glances back at the table the new kid sat at. For a second, their eyes meet, but before he knows it, the boy has already turned away, looking uninterested, and gone back to his previous conversation.

Frowning once more, Jongin however decides to shrug it off when Sehun tries to steal fries from his plate. It’s not as if they would ever have to interact anyway. And he is not about to let Sehun eat his food. He has priorities.

 

\------------------------------------------------------

 

“Mom? I’m back!” Kyungsoo calls out as he closes the front door behind him.

He drops his backpack in the hallways, chuckling when he hears two replies coming from opposite sides of the house. A head with disheveled dark hair peeks out of the kitchen’s doorway, extracting another smile out of him.

“Sweetie, you’re home! How did it go?” his mom asks, disappearing back in the room as Kyungsoo makes his way towards her.

“It was okay,” he answers, plopping down on a stool, “I kinda lost my way in the hallways at some point this morning, but a girl in my class helped me.”

“That’s very nice of her!”

“This is your fault,” another woman’s voice says in a broken Korean accent, right before his second mom enters the kitchen, “My poor baby Twinkle got this bad sense of direction from you!” she says, bending to kiss his forehead, careful not to drop the little girl she is holding, but sending her blond curly hair flying in his face in the process.

“Oppa!”

With a smile, Kyungsoo takes Yoona in his arms the second she reaches out her small hands towards him.

“Yeah, yeah,” his Korean mom says, rolling her eyes, “And he got his cleverness from you, I know,” she adds with a smile, earning a laugh from her son, who keeps being amused by that habit they have, of trying to decide what personality trait he inherited from who, even though he is adopted.

“How did it go?” he inquires as he kisses the top of his sister’s head, his nose scrunching.

He hates when her baby scent gets mixed up with the aseptic smell from the hospital.

“Fine! She was a big girl, today, like usual!”

“You were?” Kyungsoo asks, bending his neck so he can smile at his sister.

“Mmh!” she proudly nods, “The nurse gave me a lollipop!”

“Really? what flavor?”

“Strawberry!” she answers with a big baby teeth-filled smile.

“Ah, I’m jealous, now!” he says, tickling her until she loudly giggles.

“Her new doctor is really nice. Isn’t he, Sunshine?” his Canadian mom says, looking quite content about it, which in turns reassures Kyungsoo.

“Yes! He’s nice and he’s very tall! Taller than Oppa!” Yoona says, turning her head to look at him with a mischievous glint in her big eyes.

“That’s not really hard,” his mom adds with a chuckle.

“Okay, y’all need to stop teaming up against me,” Kyungsoo laughs, shaking his head but still hugging his sister tighter.

“You’re outnumbered,” his other mom joins, “Deal with it!”.

And really, it’s not fair for him, but hearing Yoona’s happy giggles, Kyungsoo cannot really find it in him to be annoyed. She has been his whole life for four years now and as long as she keeps smiling like that, he can endure the teasing.

 

\------------------------------------------------------

 

Self-study class is freaking boring and Jongin hates it. He knows he is supposed to use that time to make progress on his homework, but the text he has to read and analyze is lulling him to sleep, and he already got one warning report from his teacher when he arrived late after falling asleep in the self-study room the week before.

You think Kris or Sehun would have woken him up before they left to go to class, but apart from cackling like maniacs while Jongin was being scolded by the old teacher when he finally got there fifteen minutes later, they didn’t do much.

So to avoid ending up snoring on his desk and drooling all over his textbook, Jongin is playing a game on his phone, while his friends are on their umpteenth round of tic-tac-toe.

On his screen, the puppy tries to catch his tail and Jongin internally coos. With a few taps of his fingertip, he pets his pixelated dog one last time, before finally launching the race. His baby Shiba looks tiny compared to the full-grown German Shepard and the huge Husky he is going to compete with, but after a few mental encouraging words, he presses his finger on the screen and the puppy starts running, small paws flailing clumsily as he barks cutely.

“Come on Kai, you can do it!” he cheers, the music getting louder as the race progresses.

“Stop cheating!” Kris yells with a hard push on Sehun’s shoulder, sending his pen flying in the air.

“I’m not!” Sehun answers with a snort, “You just suck at the game.”

“Fuck you!”

With a pathetic yelp, Kai lets himself flop on the ground, and Jongin groans loudly.

“Seriously, can’t you run faster?” he scolds, tapping frantically on the screen in hopes the puppy will get up faster that way, “Come on! Fucking run! I need those coins to make you grow!”

“You’re cheating again!”

“No I’m not!” Sehun laughs once more, just as Jongin hears an irritated sigh from somewhere on his right.

He knows who is sitting at the table the sound came from. He saw the new kid drop his backpack on the chair, earlier.

He found out two weeks ago their self-study periods overlap. He kept feeling the need to glance behind him, only to catch the boy’s eyes when he finally gave in and turned around. Just like in the cafeteria, the kid had unhurriedly looked away the second they made eye contact, returning to whatever he was working on with a bored look on his face. And although Jongin had forced himself to go back to his math problems, something inside his mind kept nagging at him.  
Which is precisely why, the following week, he decided that taking a nap was a good idea. If he was asleep, at least his brain could not annoy him.

It had splendidly backfired.

“How do you fucking always win?!”

“I told you, you suck at tic-tac-toe! You’re not a good strategist, that’s all.”

Trying to swallow back a laugh when Kris picks up the ink-filled paper and rips it to shreds, Jongin refocuses on his screen, where Kai seems to have completely given up, on the race, and on life altogether, considering how he lies on the floor, fluffy legs sprawled on each side of his small body.

“Why did you stop?” he suddenly shouts, eyes opening wide when he sees the countdown reaching zero and the bold **_Game Over_** blinking on the screen, “Damnit!”

“What’s wrong?” Sehun asks, slowly collecting the pieces of paper while Kris sulks, chin propped in his palm.

“My puppy is useless!” Jongin angrily claims still staring at his phone, “This idiot just fucking stopped to lie down in the middle of the race!”

“Guess I ain’t the only one who sucks at games, huh?” Kris declares, voice loud and tone evidently bitter.

A movement on his left has Jongin lifting his head, just in time to see the new kid taking a step right next to him, probably on his way towards the bookshelves. But before he has even the time to flinch away, the guy suddenly hurls his arm to the side, and the heavy book he is holding violently smacks Kris’ face with a resounding thud.

Eyes bulging out, Jongin looks up at the guy, trying to process what on earth just happened. But weirdly, the kid seems to be just as surprised as he is, staring back at Jongin with a shocked, yet confused expression.

The eye contact however ends when Kris abruptly stands, sending his chair falling backward and turning to face the boy, invading his personal space. He looks angrier than Jongin ever saw him.

“What the fuck!!! You wanna die or what?!!” he shouts, towering over the smaller boy, rage in his eyes and fury in his voice.

For half a second, and as everyone in the room stares towards their table, Jongin wants to tell the new kid to just _run for his life_ , because a pissed off Kris is never, _ever_ a good thing. At least not if you remotely care for the symmetry of your face.

But it seems like he doesn’t need to. After sending one last very odd look towards Jongin, eyebrows knitted together and jaw tense, the boy takes a step back and rushes out of the room, quickly snatching his open backpack on his way out. Some pens fall out of it, but he keeps going. Looks like it’s a sacrifice he is ready to make.

Smart boy, Jongin thinks as he watches him disappear through the doorway.

 

——

 

“I’m gonna destroy that son of a bitch!” Kris growls a few minutes later as they make their way to lunch.

“Okay, calm down,” Sehun tries to reason him with a hand on the slightly taller teenager.

“Don’t touch me!” Kris yells, slapping away Sehun’s arm, “I’m telling you, his mom ain’t even gonna recognize her fucking son when I’m done with him!”

“Kris, come on, you-” Jongin starts.

“He fucking smashed my face with his fucking book!!!” the oldest of the three cuts him, turning towards them and revealing the angry red mark running on his nose and forehead.

“That’s not a reason to beat him up,” Sehun tries again in a calm voice.

“On whose fucking side are you?” Kris then shouts, taking a menacing step toward his friend, who only rolls his eyes and stays silent.

With no answer, the oldest releases a deep sigh, closing his eyes for a brief second.

“You know what? You’re right! I don’t have to do it. My record’s already bad as it is.”

“Good,” Sehun says, “Can we go to the cafeteria, then? I’m hungr-”

“Jongin’s gonna do it.”

“What?!” Jongin’s and Sehun’s voices echo in unison.

“Come on, dude.”

“What the fuck, Kris?” Sehun blurts out, eyes wide open in shock.

“You’re not serious, are you?” Jongin asks, raising an eyebrow, “What the hell?”

“Fuck yeah, I am!”

“Why would I even-... You crazy or what? Did he knock your head too hard?”

“Hear me out, you’re failing chemistry, right?” Kris asks, already knowing the answer, “Do that for me, beat him up, and I’ll make sure you pass.”

“The fuck is happening?” Sehun breathes out, sounding like he just got dumped in another dimension.

And if he was Sehun, Jongin would probably think the exact same. The whole situation is just plain crazy. He doesn’t usually go around beating up kids like that. But what Kris is offering is quite tempting, considering how badly he failed the last three tests.

“...How?” Jongin asks.

“What? Don’t tell me you’re fucking considering it!”

“I have my ways,” Kris snorts, ignoring Sehun, “I know you don’t want your dad to find out about your grades, so I’ll handle that.”

“This is ridiculous. Jongin, seriously man? What are you doing?”

But Jongin really doesn’t need to think any longer, not when Kris just pronounced the magic words. His father has enough to deal with, he cannot burden him even more.

“Okay, deal,” Jongin nods.

“Jongin!”

“Deal,” Kris laughs, reaching out to shake Jongin’s hand.

It should be okay. He doesn’t need to completely demolish the kid’s face. A few punches should be enough to have Kris upholding his part of the arrangement.

He will need a plan, though. He cannot do it at school if he doesn’t want to get caught.

Maybe he should start by actually finding out the kid’s name. That would make things easier if he has to figure out what he does outside of school ground.

 

——

 

After the weekend, Jongin comes back to school with the intention of following the kid after class. He tried to find what his name was on social medias, through friends of friends of friends, but after a few hours of researches, he came out with nothing. Whoever the guy is, he didn’t bother socializing online with his classmates.

He considered texting Seulgi, but quickly shot down the idea. The less people know about him suddenly asking about the boy, the less he will be suspected once the kid shows up with a bruised face.

He doesn’t feel exactly good about it, and at one point, he almost phoned Kris to call the deal off. But when he saw his dad dozing off on the couch after yet another tiring day at the hospital, Jongin ended up plunging his phone back in his pocket, returning to his room to try and find that damn kid on Instagram once again.

On Monday, he spends every break between classes trying to find him, hiding when he does, in hopes of catching any information he could use. It doesn’t exactly work, so he tries again the next day.  
And fails again.

The only thing he manages to learn, is that the new kid doesn’t talk about anything personal, subtly switching topics when Joy pries a little too much.

Life must be on his side, however, because throughout Wednesday’s third period, Jongin overhears two of his classmates talking about him. They’re too far away for him to understands everything the girls are whispering, but he does catch something sounding like a first name, among a few comments about the guy’s detached demeanor.

Myungsoo? Byungsoo? Hyungsoo? Something like that.

That’s a start. He can work with that.

“Hey, wanna hang out at my place?” Sehun asks him after their last class, “I bought the last Call of Duty.”

Usually, Jongin never turns down this kind of offer, but he just saw the kid exiting the building, and it’s the perfect opportunity to follow him and _finally_ find something useful! If he is lucky, the guy might pass through a secluded alley and Jongin will be able to go for it. A few well-aimed punches and it’ll be done.

It's stupid. Why did he even agreed to it? That’s what he keeps wondering every time the idea of punching the kid crosses his mind, and he has to shake his head and reminds himself of his tired dad to shut his brain up.

“Sorry, I can’t,” he says, eyes still fixed on the doorway where the boy just disappeared through, “Maybe another time,” he adds with a quick pat on Sehun’s shoulder, before he starts power-walking towards the exit, afraid he’ll lose him if he waits for too long.

His fear almost comes true when he steps outside, more or less accidentally pushing people out of his way. It takes him a full, agonizingly long minute to finally spot the kid, turning around the pillar supporting the front gates. Dashing forward, he doesn’t stop until he has him in sight, still staying at a safe distance so he won’t be noticed, and pretending to text someone on his phone to appear totally innocent. Just in case anyone were to wonder why on earth he is taking this path, when it’s definitely not what he usually does.

Swiftly glancing up, he sees the kid sitting at a bus stop, so Jongin nonchalantly leans against a nearby fence covered in ivy, and spends the next few minutes searching this bus line’s list of stops online, to try and find out what neighborhood the boy lives in.  
It’s going north, in the opposite direction Jongin takes to go home. If he follows him, and if the kid gets down at one of the last few stops, it’s going to take him _forever_ to go back.

Rush hour is never fun when you have to cross Seoul in a packed-up bus.

His plan is stupid anyway. Even if he finds out where the guy lives, what will he do with the information? It’s not like he would go knock on his door and beat him up right there. He has a vague recollection of the neighborhood, that should be enough.  He really doesn’t need to follow him further. He should turn around and go back. Maybe Sehun will still be up for video games.

This sounds like a better plan.

Which is why, when the bus finally arrives and the guy gets in, Jongin finds himself seated two rows behind him.  
Don’t ask, he won’t answer you. He is busy trying to understand, too.

He really was about to make his way back towards the school. But then the kid was climbing up, and then Jongin was jogging towards the bus door.

It was not a good idea. The old lady on the seat next to him is holding a plastic bag with food in it, and Jongin has no idea what it is, but it _stinks_. At the next stop, a huge guy walks in, and assessing the lack of free seats, he walks further down the bus and grabs the metal bar right above Jongin’s head. And really, the teenager wouldn’t mind, even though he’s kind of invading his personal space, but the dude obviously never heard about deodorant, and coupled with the smell coming from the food on the other side, Jongin finds himself surrounded by a rancid cloud, questioning his own existence.

So, to prevent himself from breaking the window and jumping out of the speeding vehicle, Jongin focuses on the only thing his mind come up with. He spends the ten next minutes breathing through his mouth, eyes locked on the back of the kid’s head.

Part of him is cursing the boy for at least eight generations, because it’s _his_ fault if Jongin ended up trapped in an invisible and acrid bubble. He is pretty sure the pungent mix of smells is gonna cling to him even if he takes a sanitizing shower. Or five.

But in the back of his mind, he is somewhat glad the guy doesn’t have to endure the same predicament.

The bus keeps going, and sweaty-dude eventually gets off. It keeps going, and Jongin has to stand to let stinky-food-grandma exit too.

The traffic is starting to slow down, too many cars crammed in the narrow streets, red lights not helping, and Jongin ends up dozing off. The only thing keeping him from falling asleep is his head repeatedly bumping on the window every time the bus driver has to push the brake pedal to avoid hitting yet another reckless person on a scooter, slaloming between cars.

Until _finally_ , from his barely-opened eyes, Jongin sees the kid getting up and turning around, apparently intending on using the exit on the back of the bus. He shakes himself awake, trying to hide under his bangs as the guy passes across his own seat, getting ready to jump off the bus as soon as he can. But the second the door opens, a loud and very familiar sound stops him.

Instantly, he looks through the window, a deep crease making its way between his brows. Sure enough, the ambulance rushes in the parking next to the bus stop, and Jongin notices the kid’s walking away, towards the hospital entrance.

He stays frozen, watching his figure slips in through the sliding glass doors, and before he knows it, the bus is already driving away.

When he finally gets home, close to two hours later, his frown has yet to disappear.

 

——

 

He is on his way to the bathroom after lunch when Jongin sees the kid in a hallway, ahead of him. There is still half an hour before class starts again, so he left his friends in the cafeteria in the middle of their argument about the next football game opposing Manchester United and Barcelona.

Kris has been bugging him all morning about their stupid deal, telling him that if he was about to chicken out, he just had to say it, and that he would, quote, “take care of the midget motherfucker” himself.

But as much as he would like to back out, Jongin can’t bring himself to call it quit. He still needs to pass that damn chemistry class, and seeing how he barely understands the subject they’re currently covering, he knows he most likely won’t nail his next test.  
He can’t put that burden on his dad.

There is also that little voice in the back of his head, telling him Kris would probably demolish the kid. And somehow, Jongin doesn’t want that.  
Not that being the one beating him up makes it okay, but at least, he can try not to hurt him _too much_ , as absurd as it sounds when it comes to assaulting someone.

It basically comes to choosing the least bad between two wrong options.

Maybe it would be easier if the boy was actually _aware_ of what was coming. A surprise attack seems worse. But if the kid somehow knew, then he could…  
Could what?  
Jongin doesn’t know, but it sounds logic in his head, and that’s good enough to have him speeding up to catch up with the junior.  
He could trip him. If he add an angry glare when the boy is on the ground, it should be enough, and the kid will know someone is after him.

With his plan set, he fastens his pace again, trying to figure out how he is gonna do this. But the closer he gets, the silliest it seems.

Why is he even doing that? That’s not _right_. He shouldn’t go through with it. The floor is tiled and it would really hurt the kid. He really shouldn’t. Plus, if the kid is sick, it’s really not a fair game. Who knows why he went to the hospital? And anyone could see them. Also, the guy didn’t do anything to him, to begin with. This is so stupid. He should stop. He _really_ should stop! Now!

His mind is reeling, thoughts louder and louder, and Jongin falters a bit, hurriedly stepping aside behind the open bathroom door when Joy rounds the corner and smiles brightly at the kid.

“Kyungsoo! Here you are!” she chirps, and Jongin’s mind snaps back from its frantic trance when he hears the name, “I was looking for you! Come on, they’re waiting!”

“Sooyoung, I told you I don’t want to join the music club,” the kid, _Kyungsoo_ , replies in a voice much lower than Jongin expected, only realizing now this is the first time he even hears him talk.

“But you’re gonna love it!” Joy insists, illustrating her nickname perfectly with that cheerful expression.

“I don’t have time for this, sorry,” Kyungsoo says, shaking his head, and although Jongin only sees his back when he peeks out from his hiding spot, he is almost sure his expression is dead serious.

“Fine,” she sighs, rolling her eyes but still grinning, “You can still at least meet them!” she insists, grabbing his arm before suddenly looking behind the kid, “Oh, hi Sunbae!”

Shit.

Subtlety level: minus eight hundred points.

“Hey,” he replies after quietly clearing his throat and stepping back in the hallway.

He nods once to acknowledge her happy wave, before swallowing when _Kyungsoo_ turns around.

Jongin is not sure what kind of reaction he was expecting. He has always looked bored whenever he saw Jongin, apart from that one incident in the self-study room. So the elder can’t help but be taken aback by the pronounced frown instantly carving a crease between the guy’s eyebrows.

The next second, Kyungsoo is looking away and pressing a hand against Joy’s back.

“Come on, let’s go, then.”

And as they disappear around the corner, Jongin still doesn’t know why that unexpected frown settles so bad in his stomach. He couldn’t have known Jongin was about to trip him, so why did he look so irritated?

 

——

 

Unfortunately, this is not the only time Kyungsoo does that, and Jongin ends up being on the receiving end of clearly irked looks whenever they accidentally make eye contact for the entire following week. Which in turn pisses him off tremendously.

He doesn’t understand, and it’s annoying enough for him to start returning the glares each time. He didn’t even fucking _do anything_!

_“Yet,”_ he keeps recalling himself. And somehow, he feels a little less bad. Now he has a reason. Now the damn kid won’t be surprised if Jongin punches his stupidly attractive face.

Not that he thinks the guy is handsome or anything. It just seems to be the general consensus whenever he hears people talking about him.  
They all need to get a life and stop getting so excited over nothing.

 

“Hey, girl!” Kris calls as he, Sehun and Jongin walk in the hallways between two classes, “You gotta drop the legging! They make your ass look even fatter than it already is!”

The poor sophomore looks at Kris, visibly hurt, before she drops her head and rushes away from them.

“You’re always so charming,” Jongin scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“What? You like your sweethearts to have a big booty?”

“I like them with stuff I can actually grab,” Jongin shrugs, playing along.

“Yeah, thick is _nice_ ,” Sehun agrees, probably just for the sake of teaming up with Jongin to annoy Kris.

“Depends,” the eldest argues, “Some meat is cool, but if it ain’t toned, it ain’t good.”

“Come on, think of thigh-fucking,” Jongin provides, wiggling his eyebrows and earning a laugh from Sehun, the two of them high-fiving right in front of Kris’ face.

“Hey, talking about thick legs, I saw the owl-kid was still walking around on his,” Kris says, eyeing Jongin who loses his playful grin, “Come on, Jongin. Don’t be such a pussy. I don’t wanna be friend with Captain Wimp.”

“Drop it, Kris,” Sehun intervenes, “It’s stupid.”

“We made a deal,” Kris then says, eyes set on Jongin and ignoring their younger friend completely, “You better do your part if you want me to fulfill mine.”

“I’m working on it,” Jongin says, gritting his teeth when the image of Kyungsoo’s bothered looks pops up in his head, “The kid will have what he deserves.”

“Good!” he smirks with a pat on Jongin’s shoulder, before jerking his chin forward, “Why don’t you let him have a little taste right now, then?”

Following his motion, Jongin turns to see Kyungsoo coming down the hallway from the opposite direction. Joy isn’t with him, but he seems fine to be walking on his own.

“Kris, there’s people all around,” Sehun disapproves instantly when he, too, notices the kid.

“Relax, he ain’t gonna get suspended for insulting that motherfucker,” Kris snorts, before patting Jongin’s shoulder again, “Show us what you got.”

Squaring his shoulders, and clenching his jaw, Jongin locks his eyes on the smaller figure still weaving between chatting students.

Kris is right, a few words won’t get him sanctioned. And the boy deserves it, for pissing him off.  
Seriously, what’s with the glares? Jongin has never even spoken to him! Two can play that game! If he asks for it, Jongin isn’t going to hesitate.

Right?

But maybe he shouldn’t do it, he thinks as Kyungsoo is making his way closer to them. Maybe he _did_ do something to annoy the boy, even if he has no idea what it his.  
Why is he even listening to Kris? The elder always has the worst ideas. Kyungsoo never did anything to _really_ deserve to be treated badly. At least not to Jongin. This is ridiculous. Yes, he kinda hit Kris, so what? He and Sehun were being really annoying that day. If anything, _Kris_ deserved that book crashing on his face. Kyungsoo had the right to do it. And Jongin shouldn’t want to hurt him just because Kris told him to. This is so stupid. He shouldn’t do it. He won’t do it. Kris can go suck himse-.

A pinch on his arm makes him snap back out of his racing thoughts, just in time to see Kyungsoo next to him. Kris pinches him once more, and without thinking about it, Jongin’s hand flies and collides with Kyungsoo’s shoulder, pushing him not enough to hurt, but enough to send him stumbling away.

In a daze, he watches as Kyungsoo finds his balance back, before sending him a murderous look.

“What the hell?” he spits, and it takes a few seconds, and another pinch for Jongin to finally open his mouth.

“Oh, so he _does_ know how to speak!” he scoffs, voice dripping arrogance, “With that dumb face, I thought he was fucking retarded!” he adds, looking at Kris above his shoulder with a smirk.

The elder releases a sound halfway between a bark and a laugh, slapping him proudly on the back.

“What’s your problem?” Kyungsoo then says, staring at him, and Jongin can see he is trying to stay calm.

Apparently, he needs an explanation. Jongin will gladly give him one.

“I don’t know, you tell me! What’s up with the glares?” he shoots, unable to control himself and only realizing a second too late that _he_ is the one asking for an explanation, here.

Kyungsoo’s eyes are locked in his, and suddenly, Jongin feels bad. So, _so_ bad that it’s almost painful. His guts are twisting, heart lurching up in his throat. Why did he do this? Why did he say that?

All this however vanishes when Kyungsoo blatantly snorts at him, in the most condescending way Jongin has ever witnessed.

“You’re so fucking stupid,” is all the kid says, before readjusting his backpack on his shoulder and walking away without another look.

Jongin keeps staring at him, eyes unmoving even after he disappears in a classroom.

“The fuck was _that_?” Kris snorts, clearly making fun of him.

Jongin has no answer, so he remains quiet until Sehun reminds them they’re supposed to be on the other side of the building in less than three minutes. And it takes both of his friends dragging him away for Jongin to finally detach his eyes from the junior’s classroom door.

Well, if Kyungsoo didn’t have a reason to hate him before, he sure as hell does, now.

 

——

 

Just as he predicted, Jongin ends up failing the fourth chemistry test in a row. He hasn’t checked the total count online, but at that point, he thinks it’s safe to say there is no chance of salvaging his grade for this semester.

He had to lie to his dad, the night before, when he asked how he was doing in class, and the relieved expression on the man’s tired face made Jongin’s heart pang. He couldn’t admit the truth when he saw how exhausted his father was as he recounted how he had gone through surgery after surgery that day, adding that he was also supposed to be on call the following night.

Jongin fucking hates lying to him, but he wouldn’t be able to handle knowing his dad is disappointed, when everything he does is for his son.

Which is exactly why Jongin ends up once more on that damn bus, two days later. He made sure Kyungsoo didn’t see him getting in, keeping his snapback low on his face the whole time. He doesn’t exactly have a set plan in mind, but he has to do something. He _needs_ to, if he wants Kris to help him.

The drive is just as long as last time, but thankfully, he managed to get a seat right next to the back door, and this time his seatmate is a serious-looking man cladded in a suit reading the news on his iPad.

Kyungsoo is four rows ahead of him, shiny black headphones plopped on his head and oblivious to Jongin’s presence. Eyes glued to the back of the kid’s head, Jongin starts organizing his thoughts. His spot on the bus gives him the possibility of tripping Kyungsoo right when he’ll climb down through the back door. After that, it’ll be easy to get out of the vehicle himself, pretending to check on the boy he _accidentally_ hurt. Then, he’ll just have to drag him into one of the closest alleys and finish the job. He is familiar with the area, since that’s the hospital his father works at, so he knows there are a few secluded back streets around.

Of course, he is betting this plan on the guess Kyungsoo will get off at the same stop, and he might have to think quickly if he doesn’t, but so far, this is the best he was able to come up with, so he’ll take the chance.

The further they go and the closer to the hospital they get, the more anxious Jongin is growing. He doesn’t _want_ to do that. But he _has to_ , he thinks as he watches Kyungsoo slides one side of his headphones back to free one of his ears and press the button to alert the driver someone is getting down at the next stop.

A couple minutes later, the metallic woman’s voice announces the name of the hospital, and Jongin watches as Kyungsoo stands up, snatching his backpack from the ground and throwing it on his shoulder before he starts walking towards the back.

This is it.

Kyungsoo turns his head towards the front of the bus, thanks the driver, and then keeps walking.

He can do it. He has to. He just needs to extend his leg at the last moment and the kid will be sent tumbling forward. Easy. He deserved it anyway, if only for calling Jongin ‘ _stupid_ ’.

Kyungsoo is nearly at the back, now, and Jongin takes a deep breath, lowering his head so his snapback covers his face from the boy’s view. Just a few more seconds now. He can do this.  
...Right?  
He can. Even though it’s ridiculous. Really ridiculous. Kyungsoo isn’t wrong, Jongin _is_ stupid. Why is he even planning on hurting the kid? He was the one starting the altercation at school. Kyungsoo didn’t do anything. So why should Jongin hurt him when it isn’t even his fault? He shouldn’t. He _really_ shouldn’t.

But suddenly, the back door opens and Jongin hears the sound of an ambulance. He dad’s face pops up in his mind, and he snaps back to reality just as Kyungsoo arrives in front of him.

In a heartbeat, Jongin stretches his legs, looking up. It’s too quick for Kyungsoo to react, too late for him to try and step over. The kid’s ankle bumps against his calf, and Jongin sees him lose his balance, arms trying to reach for something to grab. And like in slow motion, he watches him topple forward, tumbling down the bus’ stairs, knees scratching the sharp edges, and violently landing on the aggregate concrete.

This should be his cue to pretend to be surprised and apologetic before climbing down. But Jongin is too stunned, trying his best not to cry out in pain. There is a burning sting running through his shins, as if he had just fallen on a hard surface. He can _feel_ the gravels digging into his knees, through his pants; feel them pierce the skin of his palm, as his entire body tenses on the bus seat.

Eyes bulging out, he turns his head fast enough for his neck to crack and stares at Kyungsoo who is still on all four on the sidewalk. For a few agonizingly long seconds, he stares and stares again at the boy, waiting for him to look back, to confirm what Jongin just realized, to prove him he isn’t in any sort of pain, despite the brutal fall.

But still in dismay, Jongin watches him get up and brush the dirt off his pants, wiping down his scraped hands on his thighs and leaving bloody smudges on their path. The door starts to close when Kyungsoo picks up his backpack, and Jongin cannot do anything but keep staring as the kid walks away.

The bus starts moving, and the man sitting next to him eyes Jongin disapprovingly.

But Jongin is too shell-shocked to even react.

The kid, _Kyungsoo_ , is his fucking _soulmate_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun DUN!  
> (No one is surprised)


	2. Chapter 2

The second Kyungsoo opens the door of his house, a pastel yellow tornado attacks him, and he has to promptly drop his backpack to be able to catch it before they both crash on the entryway.

“Oppa! You’re late!”

“Sorry, Princess. I was at the hospital,” he says, securing her on his hip as she curls her frail arms around his neck before placing a sticky smooch on his cheek.

“Did you see my doctor again?” Yoona asks, sticking out her own cheek to receive a kiss.

With an exaggerated growl, Kyungsoo pretends to nip her plumpy cheekbone until her giggles fill the room, before pecking her forehead when she nestles her face in his neck. Only then Kyungsoo feels the accumulated tension leaving his shoulders.

The tests he had to go through today stressed him out enough to give him a persistent headache. Physical tests, he doesn’t mind, or only when it is time to get the results. But so far, everything has come out surprisingly good. So good, in fact, that even his sister’s doctor was taken aback.

What he had trouble handling was the team of psychologists and psychiatrists he had to talk to, today. It had been quite exhausting mentally. He was so afraid to say something wrong. Even if they kept reassuring him there were no good or bad answers, and that he just needed to be honest.  
He tried his best, but seeing them write down on their clipboards every time he opened his mouth had been way too unnerving. Worse even, they didn’t say _anything_ at the end of the evaluation, apart from informing him they would talk to the doctor in charge about their conclusion.

Needless to say, his nails were all completely bitten down by the time he got home. If the ride had been any longer, he might have started chewing the skin around.

“Twinkle?”

“I’m here, mom,” Kyungsoo answers, making his way towards the laundry room, Yoona still cuddled in his arms.

“Did it go well?” his Canadian mom asks as she finishes folding one of his shirt.

“I have no idea,” he sighs, gently leaning his head against his sister’s hair, “But they didn’t frown _that_ much when I talked, so I’m assuming it wasn’t too bad…”

“I’m sure you did great,” she smiles at him, caressing his cheek, “Okay, time to take your bath, Sunshine!” she then says to Yoona.

“No, thank you!” his sister singsongs, voice muffled by the skin of his neck, making him chuckle.

“That wasn’t a question,” their mom laughs as she tries to pry the little girl out of his arms, “Your brother has to help mommy set the table for dinner.”

“No, thank you,” Kyungsoo mimics, earning a happy giggle from Yoona and an amused eye-roll from his mom.

After struggling to unfold Yoona’s arms from around his neck, their mom finally manages to take the girl to the bathroom, while he tiredly makes his way towards the kitchen.

“Hey sweetie,” his second mom greets him, “How did it go?” she asks as she checks the rice in the cooker.

“Not sure. They said they have to discuss it with Yoona’s doctor before telling me anything,” he shrugs, opening the tap to wash his hands.

He cleaned them at the hospital, but he took the bus home, and public transport vehicles are not known to be the most sanitized environment. He shouldn’t have touched Yoona before, but hopefully, her bath would prevent any bacteria to linger on her.

“Oh my god, what happened?” his mom suddenly gasps, rushing towards him.

It takes him a few seconds before understanding what she means. Looking down, he stares at his palms and releases a sigh.

“I just fell, it’s nothing,” he answers, pumping hand-soap in his hand and getting it to lather.

“Does it hurt?” she inquires, already taking out antiseptic and a box of band-aids.

“Not really,” he shrugs with a frown.

He isn’t lying. The scratches aren’t stinging despite being covered in soap foam, and although he is pretty sure his knees are bruised, there is no soreness to prove him right. The fall in itself didn’t even hurt, which should be weird, but actually isn’t, considering the circumstances.

“Why didn’t you get this checked while you were at the hospital?” his mom scolds him, more worried than really berating.

“Mom, it’s nothing,” he repeats, letting her spray disinfectant on the angry red skin, nonetheless.

He might be seventeen, but she still freaks out whenever he gets as much as a paper cut. Kyungsoo usually doesn’t stop her. She has always been rather protective, and he knows his sister’s condition did nothing to help her relax, especially in the last few months.

So he watches her pat his hands with gauze and blow on the scrapes to help the antiseptic dry. He remains still as she sticks band-aids wherever she deems fit, and silently accept the light kisses she places on both palms.

If it can put her mind at ease, then he’s fine with it. She doesn’t have to know he’ll take the band-aids off before arriving to school the next morning.

 

\------------------------------------------------------

 

This is fucking insane. It can’t be real. It has to be a joke.

Those are basically the thoughts that have been looping in Jongin’s mind since the previous afternoon, along with a good amount of curses.

He hasn’t been able to focus on anything, including the assignment he was supposed to finish for today’s English class. But really, he couldn’t care less. Because the fucking new kid is his _soulmate_ , and seriously, what the fuck?

He is almost certain his father noticed something was wrong while they were eating dinner, although the man didn’t say anything. But even if he had mentioned it, Jongin had probably been too lost in his thoughts to hear it.

Kyungsoo. _Kyungsoo_ is his soulmate. How on earth did this happen?

Jongin doesn’t know who he has to blame for that. He keeps hesitating between Life, Fate and Karma, but none of those options seems satisfying enough.

He tried to find another rational explanation. He really did. But the more he turned everything in his brain, the clearer everything had become.

This was the reason he always felt like he knew when the kid was around. This was why he felt like he _had to_ take a look at him.

This was why his brain went fucking haywire on the three occasions Jongin was planning on _hurting_ him.

Because Kyungsoo is his _soulmate_.

The one supposed to be the most compatible with him.

The one he is supposed to _love_ , one way or another, romantically, platonically, or anything in between.

The one he can’t hurt. And ironically, the one he is now _supposed_ to hurt.

How did he end up in this situation?

Jongin is not a cry baby, but he doesn’t exactly enjoy being in pain. He was already not very enthused by the idea of beating up the kid, so now that he knows _he_ will suffer for whatever he does to Kyungsoo, he cannot help but second guess the whole arrangement thing even more, as selfish as it sounds.  
What is he supposed to do now?

There is no way in hell he can tell Kris about it. The older boy has such a bad opinion on everything revolving around soulmates, it would only make things worse.  
Jongin cannot blame him, though. What happened to his parents and to his older sister has shaped the boy’s mind into loathing the sole idea of having a soulmate. Kris would most likely take the matter in his own hands and slaughter Kyungsoo.

Jongin cannot let that happen. He cannot let Kris discover the truth. He needs to find a way to get out of this mess.

No matter how much he hates it, he knows he has to call the deal off. He will tell his dad about his grades and he will face the disappointment on the man’s face. He will swallow his pride and go see his teacher to ask if there is anything he can do to salvage his semester’s grade.

He will lie to Kris if he has to, just so he doesn’t go after Kyungsoo himself.

He cannot let Kyungsoo get hurt. He won’t.

 

Jongin is at the drinking fountain when he feels the urge to turn around. It isn’t the first time this happen, but he now knows _why_. Almost reluctantly, he wipes the waterdrops on his chin and turns on his heels.

Like he expected, Kyungsoo is walking down the hallway, listening to whatever Joy is telling him with a polite smile that doesn’t reach his tired-looking eyes.

He looks exhausted, and Jongin cannot help but frown.  
He doesn’t like it. It makes him wonder what happened and if maybe the boy didn’t sleep well, or if something is bothering him. And before long, more questions are swirling in his mind: Did he eat enough at breakfast? Is he doing okay in class? Is something wrong at home? Did he bring an umbrella to get shielded from the downpour forecasted later that day? Why is he going to the hospital so often? Is he badly sick?

He doesn’t _want_ any of these thoughts, but he cannot help it, as much as he hates it.

Jongin however gets saved, or at least interrupted, by a hand pushing him away. He snaps back to reality and notices Kris drinking from the fountain.

Instinctively, his eyes refocus on Kyungsoo for a brief moment, and he steps a little bit forward, to make sure the younger is not in Kris’ field of view.

“Hey, let me copy your answers on the English homework,“ Kris asks, or rather says, not really giving Jongin any choice.

“I didn’t finish it,” he sternly answers, glancing once again at Kyungsoo to check how far he still is.

“You suck,” Kris sighs, straightening his back.

On an impulse, Jongin rounds Kris’ figure so the elder would have his back facing Kyungsoo if he wants to talk to him, praying the junior will enter a classroom before bypassing them.

He doesn’t want Kris to get the chance of bringing up their stupid deal in the conversation.

Unfortunately, luck doesn’t seem to be on his side and his mind panics when he sees Kyungsoo and Joy getting nearer and nearer, trying to come up with something to keep Kris’ attention on him. He realizes it’s too late when Kris apparently notices Jongin isn’t looking at him and turns around, following his eyes. His face hardens into a frown the second he spots the junior, and Jongin’s stomach sinks.

“We need to talk,” Kris says, looking back at him, clearly mad.

“We’re gonna be late for class,” Jongin objects in the most nonchalant tone he can muster, trying to ignore the set of round eyes he can feel glancing at him.

“It won’t be the first time. Come on,” the elder retorts, grabbing his upper arm and yanking him towards the bathroom.

Jongin has half in mind to protest, but the glare he receives is enough to make him keep his mouth shut and comply. It’s probably better not to anger Kris any further.

“So?” he says as Kris starts checking every stall is empty.

“I should be the one asking you that,” the elder replies curtly, crossing his arms and leaning on the wall.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t fuck with me, Jongin,” Kris snaps, “The new kid. Why is he still parading in the hallways?”

“Because he is going to class?” Jongin shrugs, trying to stall in hopes the bell will ring soon and he will be able to convince his friend they really should go to class.

“He shouldn’t be able to,” Kris spits, “The fuck are you waiting for? It’s almost been a month.”

“Look, I’m just trying to find a way to do it without getting busted, okay?” he says with a sigh, rolling his eyes.

Technically, it’s not a lie. That _was_ his plan, at first. Things just got a little more complicated, recently.

“Didn’t you crash your last chemistry test?” Kris scoffs, raising an eyebrow, “Your dad ain’t gonna be happy if he finds out…”

Of course he would bring his father up. That was to be expected. It was the reason Jongin had agreed to the deal.

“I just need a bit more time,” he argues calmly, just wanting Kris to fucking _drop it_.

But that would be underestimating the elder’s persuasiveness.

“Do you remember last spring?” Kris inquires, locking their eyes, and Jongin’s heart falls, “I didn’t say anything back then. I got busted, but I didn’t give them your name when they asked who was with me,” he reminds him, although Jongin don’t need to be.

“I know…”

“Even if they tried to convince me, telling me they wouldn’t put it in my record if I gave them that name, I still didn’t say shit,” the elder continues, “I know it’s important for you to keep a clean record, because of your dad, so I kept my mouth shut. I got fucking suspended for two weeks while your safe ass comfortably sat in class,” he adds, voice abnormally composed.

Jongin wants to look away, but he can’t. He knows very well Kris took the blow by himself for what they did. They were both involved, but only Kris got sanctioned, and Jongin’s name was never mentioned. And even if the elder was the one talking him into doing it, Jongin agreed and should’ve been held accountable too. But Kris indeed never gave him away. He got into serious trouble, with both the school and his parents, but kept claiming he was alone, that night.

When Jongin asked the elder why, Kris only patted his shoulder, and told him he would never betray him like that.

It’s one of the reason he cannot agree when his dad tells him the elder is a bad influence. He might not be the nicest guy, but Kris is loyal. And Jongin knows he cares about him.

And this is what makes the situation even trickier. Jongin owes him.

And under any other circumstances, he knows Kris would never bring that up. But it seems Kyungsoo pissed him off enough to force him to.

“Don’t you think it’s time to pay me back and do _me_ a favor?” the elder ends, slightly squinting and confirming Jongin’s doubts.

He would like to say no. But the facts are here. And Kris, no matter how much of a jerk he can be, is still his friend. One that has been here for Jongin whenever he needed it, for the past three years.

Whereas Jongin doesn’t even _know_ Kyungsoo, never had a real conversation with him, doesn’t even know his last name. And the kid looks like he hates his guts, anyway.

Soulmate or not, he cannot choose him over his friend.

So Jongin nods, finally averting his eyes.

They end up being late to class, but he doesn’t even hear the teacher scolding them, nor does he feel bad giving her his half-filled homework. He’s way too busy trying to figure out what the fuck he is gonna do about Kyungsoo.

 

——

 

Jongin never thought he would one day be thankful to have a major exam coming up. Yet, this is exactly what he feels during the two following weeks. The CSAT is held on the second Thursday of November, and the pressure is big enough to keep Kris busy and off his back.

Kyungsoo has been blatantly ignoring him, which seemed strange considering there was no way he didn’t realize his _soulmate_ had tripped him that day. He took him a while to remember he had been efficiently hiding his face back then, and the boy had most likely no idea it was _Jongin_.

Somehow, it bothers him, but he tries not to think about it, diving in his notebooks for useless last-minute studies. He doesn’t have much hopes of nailing the National exam, but he never really planned on getting into a high-ranked university anyway. As much as his father cares about his grades, the man never put any pressure on him regarding to what college he would go to, not even forcing Jongin to attend Hagwons anymore after the divorce.

Jongin doesn’t have any specific ideas of what he wants to do with his life, so he will probably go for the undecided major program until he finds something interesting enough to pursue. He doesn’t need to get into one of the country’s top universities for that.

But Kris _is_ aiming for the Business and Management program at Sungkyunkwan University, so Jongin doesn’t get to interact much with the elder, even between classes.

He is rereading his East Asian History notes, yawning every five minutes with the pitter-pat of the rain as background noise, when his phone rings, startling him.

“Dad?” he answers after seeing the caller’s name.

“Hey Nini Bear,” his father greets in a tired voice, despite the afternoon barely starting, “I hope I’m not interrupting your studies.”

“It’s okay, I was gonna take a break,” Jongin reassures him, slouching back in his desk chair.

He could use one, anyway. Maybe having a snack would be a good idea.

“Is something wrong?” he asks, knowing his father’s job is usually busier during weekends.

“My colleague caught the flu,” his dad sighs, “She was supposed to be on call tonight, but she was burning up, so she went home and I’m going to stand in for her.”

“Didn’t you already have a night shift on Thursday? Are you gonna be okay?”

“It can’t be helped, they need someone to stay.”

“But they _always_ ask you…”

“Of course they do! Your old man is awesome!” his father jokes, but Jongin can hear how exhausted he is.

“Yeah, you are,” he chuckles, “Do you need me to bring you a change of clothes?” he then questions, figuring out this is probably why he called.

“That’d be nice, if you have some time in the afternoon. And if you could grab the notes on my desk, the ones next to the grey binder. I wasn’t supposed to need them, but the patient got admitted this morning in an emergency,” his dad explains, “It’s actually a good thing I’m staying the night.”

Trust his father to be one hundred percent dedicated to his job and being glad to do extra hours so he can keep an eye on his patients.

Jongin gets up and makes his way to his father’s office, spotting the notes right away on the neatly organized desk.

“Okay, found them,” he says, “The ones with the blue and green chart on the first page, right?” he asks, trying his best not to read any confidential information.

“Yes, thank you Nini.”

“No problem. Let me take a shower and I’ll be on my way,” he says , placing the notes in a plastic pocket, “Do you want me to grab you some food, too?”

“No, it’s fine, I’ll go to the cafeteria later.”

“Okay. I’ll be quick,” he assures before ending the call once his dad has thanked him once more.

  
An hour later, Jongin climbs down from the bus and freezes, his umbrella half opened. Slowly, he looks down, the image of Kyungsoo’s figure materializing in his mind. This is where he landed, three weeks ago. This is where he was when Jongin realized their souls were tied.

He still hasn’t figured out what to do about it. He doesn’t even know if he should bring it up, since he and Kyungsoo aren’t exactly on speaking terms. Or in any kind of term, really, considering the boy hasn’t even glanced at him since that day in the hallway, right before Kris asked to talk to Jongin.

It would be a lie to say that he doesn’t care.

He may or may not have talked and laughed louder than usual whenever he saw the boy in his vicinity, in hopes of catching his attention, if only for a fleeting second. Not that he would admit it if anyone were to ask, but deep down, he knows it irks him that Kyungsoo has no idea about the bond between them.

Jongin _wants_ him to know, and it’s _weird_ because after the way his parents’ relationship ended, he hasn’t been very interested in finding his soulmate. So he should be fine with Kyungsoo ignoring him.

He isn’t. But it’s not like he can just go and talk to him randomly.

It takes a raindrop falling in his eye and messing up his contact lens for Jongin to finally yank himself off of his thoughts. Blinking rapidly to try and get the lens to behave again, he dashes towards the entrance door, not bothering opening his umbrella since he is already soaked anyway.

He must look like a wet dog as he shakes his head, dripping hair sending water drops all around him, enough for a little boy to laugh at him before he gets scolded by his mother.

He takes the elevator up to the fourth floor, going straight to the nurse office and gets once again laughed at, this time by the head nurse, who beckons him over and hands him a small towel.

She has been working here for almost as long as his father and she met Jongin back when he still wore diapers, so he lets her pat his cheek without protesting. The woman had always been more affectionate with him than his own mother, anyway.  
He actually hopes he won’t cross path with his mom while he’s here, but he should be safe, considering she works in the Orthopedic department, down on the second floor.

“What brings you here, young man?” the head nurse asks, grabbing the towel from his hands before pumping hydroalcoholic gel in her palms.

“My dad asked me to bring him some stuff. He’s on call tonight,” Jongin answers, slightly lifting the small duffle bag hanging from his shoulder, “Do you know where he is?”

“I think he should be done with his afternoon round,” she says right before a light flashes on the nurse call control panel, signaling the patient in room 436 needs something, “Try his office, or the nurse station on the other side of the floor,” she suggests before marching out of the office with a gentle pat on his forearm.

Following her advice, he makes his way toward his father private office, which is part of his privileges as the head surgeon of the Pediatric department, only to find it empty. He still drops the duffle bag on the chair, and writes down a quick message on a post-it note, sticking it on the computer screen frame, just in case his father ends up not being able to see him. He makes sure to place the plastic container filled with fried rice inside the small refrigerator. He knows the hospital food isn’t the best, so he still packed some leftovers from last night and brought them.

Once he is done, he exits the room and resumes his dad-hunting expedition. He isn’t luckier in either of the three nurse stations he checks, so he keeps going.

However, what Jongin finds isn’t his father. Instead, just as he rounds the corner of yet another pristine hallway, he spots a familiar figure.

Seated on the bench in front of a vending machine, Kyungsoo stares at the unopened box of juice in his hands. He looks different, cladded in casual clothes, compared to the strict school uniform Jongin is used to see him in. Even his hair seems to have been left alone today, whereas there is always gel holding his bangs up, at school.

He should leave. He knows the boy probably doesn’t want to talk to him. But before he knows it, Jongin is quietly sitting on the bench, leaving a seat between them to avoid invading Kyungsoo’s personal space.

It takes the junior a good thirty seconds before noticing someone just sat next to him, and he tiredly glance to his left. Jongin swears he can see him visibly tense before looking away.

The uncomfortable silence stretches until Jongin eventually speaks, fingers playing with the handle of his umbrella.

“Hey…” he awkwardly greets, not really knowing what to say, or why he is even here.

“What do you want?” Kyungsoo curtly replies, still not looking at him.

Once again, Jongin is surprised by how low his voice is, and he has to clear his throat to make sure his own pitch won’t be too high. He is older, he should sound more mature.

“Nothing” he says with a shrug, hoping Kyungsoo will see it from the corner of his eyes, “I just...saw you there and thought you could need some company…”

“I don’t. You can leave.”

Clearly, this isn’t going well. Not that he expected Kyungsoo to be all friendly with him, but he hadn’t anticipated it would be _that_ bad.

“Wow, what’s with the hostility?” he asks with a light chuckle.

Wrong move.  
At least if the way Kyungsoo sharply turns his head to send him the coldest glare ever is any indication.

“What’s with the chit-chat?” the boy retorts, “Didn’t you think I was retarded?”

Of course, Jongin’s brain had conveniently forgotten about that, too focused on absorbing the fact they were _soulmates_.

“I-… It was-…” he starts before sighing, swallowing his pride, “I didn’t _mean_ that.”

“I don’t care,” Kyungsoo snaps, looking back at the juice box.

“Listen, I-”

“Did you follow me here?” the boy then inquires, turning once more to stare at him with suspicious eyes.

“What? No!” Jongin exclaims, although he cannot really blame Kyungsoo for thinking that way, since he _did_ follow him before, apparently a lot less subtly than he thought, “My dad works here, I just came to bring him something…”

“Whatever.”

He should leave, really. Kyungsoo is definitely not his biggest fan, at the moment. He should go before he gives the younger even more reasons to hate him, undoubtedly knowing he has the skills of making everything worse.

“What are _you_ doing here?” he asks instead, because his stupid mouth obviously doesn’t want to cooperate.

“That’s none if your business.”

Okay, he knows he has been a jerk, but they’re alone in the hallway, and Jongin is _trying_. Kyungsoo could at least appreciate the effort!

“Fine!” he gives up, irritated, “No need to be so harsh.”

Wrong move again, seeing how Kyungsoo’s eyes then turn even angrier.

This should be his cue to _leave_. But again, he stays rooted in his seat, and listens to the faint sound of the busy hospital, somehow just content being near Kyungsoo.

“Aren’t you gonna drink that?” he eventually asks, vaguely pointing at the juice box Kyungsoo keeps staring at.

“No.”

“...Okay.”

His saving grace comes in the form of a blond woman in her mid-forties walking towards them.

“Kyungsoo?” she calls, and Jongin watch the boy’s face switching from upset to anxious in less than a second as he looks up, “Come on, you can see her now.”

Kyungsoo immediately gets up, sending a quick glance towards Jongin without meeting his eyes

“Bye,” he quietly says, before marching to her.

Jongin’s treacherous heart skips a beat, leaving him dumbfounded as he stares at their retreating figures.

“Is that a friend of yours?” she asks in English as she places a hand on Kyungsoo’s back.

“No. Really not,” Jongin hears the boy reply before they disappear around the corner.

A few minutes earlier, he would’ve been upset by the blatant rejection, but right now, his mind is focusing on something entirely different.

 _See her_?

Relief is flooding his system as he repeats those words in his head. He had assumed Kyungsoo was coming to the hospital because he was _sick_. He never thought he was visiting someone. And even though he shouldn’t feel happy knowing someone is hurting, he can’t help but be happy that his soulmate is fine.

Which is most likely why, although he has no right to do so, he stands and walks in the direction they left. Peeking around the corner, he sees them entering a room, having to hide hastily when Kyungsoo suddenly glances in his direction.

He can hear muffled voices talking in hushed tones, so he waits a little longer, still hidden in the adjacent hallway. Maybe he can get closer once the door is closed. The name under the room number might help him knowing _who_ Kyungsoo is visiting.

His plan is slowly forming in his mind, and he is about to take a glance again, when a familiar voice startles him.

“Jongin?”

“Oh! Hey!” he says, trying to look as innocent as possible when his dad looks at him with a surprised face.

“I’m sorry, you were probably looking for me,” his father says, “I was with the patient who was admitted in an emergency.”

“No, it’s fine... I put everything in your office. Brought you food too, it’s in your mini fridge,” he adds with a smile.

“Of course you did,” his dad grins back, ruffling his still damp hair, “Have you seen your mom?” he then questions, and instantly, Jongin’s face closes off.

“No.”

“You should go, I know she works today too. She’ll be happy to see you.”

Jongin knows his dad is lying. His mother hasn’t bothered trying to see him, or even call him, in nearly four years. But he doesn’t want to make his father sad, so he forces a smile and nods.

“Okay,” he answers, just as the man’s pager beeps.

“I have to go,” his dad declares, looking apologetic after checking the small black device, “I’ll be home tomorrow night.”

“Alright,” Jongin nods again, “I’ll have dinner ready.”

“Husband material, indeed,” his father chuckles, ruffling his hair once more before pecking the side of his head and rushing away towards the nearest nurse station.

The sound of a door opening eventually reminds him of the mission he was on right before meeting his father, and he turns on his heels, peeping around the corner and seeing the same woman exiting the room, followed right after by another woman with dark hair. Hands linked, they walk away, further down the hallway, and Jongin notices the door has been left ajar.

Embracing his Call of Duty skills, he stealthily moves towards the door, praising himself for being both quick and silent.

His eyes then focus on the room occupant’s name, and a frown instantly mares his forehead.

 _Do Yoona_?

A girl? Does his _soulmate_ have a fucking _girlfriend_?

Did the girl’s moms leave the room so they could _make out_?!!

Throwing furtiveness to the wind, he peeks through the gap, trying his best to see who the fuck is in that bed. All he can see are small hands holding a juice box. _The_ juice box Kyungsoo had in his hands earlier.

For a few seconds, Jongin tries to calm himself down, to avoid barging in the room and demand an explanation. But before he knows it, the door suddenly opens and the surprise makes him trip and stumble inside the room.

Shit.

“What the…”

Kyungsoo looks _pissed_.

“Who are you?” a little voice inquires from the bed.

And Kyungsoo most likely doesn’t have a girlfriend who looks like she is four years old.

Jongin is usually quite proud of his clever comebacks. Under any circumstances, he can snap back in sassy mode. But today doesn’t seem to be usual, considering how bad his previous conversation with Kyungsoo went.

“...Who are _you_?” he asks, proving to himself this is _not_ his day.

“I asked first!”

“...Well, I asked second.”

Can he makes an even bigger fool of himself?

“What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo questions in a tense voice, forcing Jongin to look at him.

“Nothing?” he replies dumbly, his mind trying to find a way to pull out the last bit of his dignity.

“Then get out.”

“Is he the weird oppa that follows you?” the little girl asks before he can say anything, earning a gasp from both Jongin and Kyungsoo.

“What?!”

“Yoona!”

“I’m not weird!” he defends himself, eyes wide open as he looks at her.

“You’re weird,” she declares in a definite tone.

“I’m not!”

“Are! I don’t like you!”

Sadly, that seemed to be the opinion of everyone in this room.

“Why not?” he exclaims anyway, because it still sounds a bit unfair, “I didn’t do anything!”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Kyungsoo interrupts them, “Get the hell out!” he orders, still holding the door open.

“Oppa! Naughty words are not allowed!” the girl says, looking both amused and offended, and Jongin cannot help but snort when he hears Kyungsoo quietly groan.

“Yoona, I’ll be right back, okay?” the younger says, “Drink your juice,” he adds before grabbing Jongin’s elbow and dragging him out, closing the door after them.

“Is she your sister?” Jongin questions right away, not letting Kyungsoo the chance to yell at him.

Thankfully, the boy only sighs.

“Yes,” he confirms, surprising Jongin because he didn’t think he would actually get an answer, “And in case your pea-sized brain didn’t figure that out, she’s _sick_ ,” he continues, back to glaring at Jongin, “So leave her the fuck alone. And leave _me_ alone too.”

“What’s wrong with her?” Jongin asks because clearly, today, his mouth works faster than his mind.

“Again, that's none of your business.”

“But-”

“Just leave, Jongin,” Kyungsoo sighs, before turning around and disappearing back in the room.

Jongin stares at the closed door, frozen in surprise.

Because Kyungsoo knows his name.

He didn’t use any honorific, but his soulmate fucking _knows his name_.

Life is good, Jongin thinks with a stupid grin. Bless you, pea-sized brain.

 

——

 

On the day of the supposedly make-or-break exam, and despite his crazily busy schedule, Jongin’s father still manages to make time to drive his son to school. The traffic is lighter than usual, biggest sign of what is about to happen all over the country.

Jongin isn’t particularly nervous. He is well aware he won’t get an outstanding score, but he should be able to do a somewhat decent job. The lack of stress will probably help, contrarily to some of his classmates he knows must be panicking at the moment.

“Just do your best, okay?” his dad tells him with a smile as Jongin exits the car.

Jongin grins back and nods before closing the door and waving at him through the window. Then he makes his way towards the school gates, where hundreds of people are bundled, holding colorful signs and proudly cheering the seniors entering the school with well-rehearsed chants.

Slowing down his steps, Jongin’s eyes instinctively scan the crowd, searching for round eyes and plump lips in the sea of faces.

There is absolutely no reason for Kyungsoo to be here. The boy has only been in this school for two months, and Jongin never saw him interact with any senior, so it shouldn’t be a surprise when he doesn’t find him.

He cannot, however, help but be a little disappointed. He doesn’t really care about the exam, but having Kyungsoo here to cheer for _him_ would’ve been nice.

“Yo, Kim Jongin!” a familiar voice calls right before an arm fall on his shoulder, “You ready?” Sehun asks, waving at a sophomore girl who keeps chanting his name to encourage him before handing him a canned coffee drink and an energy bar.

“As much as I can be,” Jongin shrugs with a smug face.

“Ah, it must be nice not to be freaking out!” Sehun dramatically sighs, earning a chuckle from his friend, “Come on, let’s go. SKY is not the limit, today,” he adds, visibly proud of his pun.

Indeed, SKY is the _goal_ for most of them.

They don’t end up being assigned in the same classroom, and Jongin laughs when he sees that, thanks to the alphabetical list, every single student in his room has Kim as their family name. Eight of them are actually his classmates. The attendance-taking would at least be entertaining.

He goes waiting outside of the room, chatting lightly with Jongdae and Hyoyeon until a teacher finally opens the door and lets them enter.

The room is silent as they all wait in their seats, the air almost vibrating with apprehension when the supervisor eventually places the exam subject face down on the desks.

When the clock’s minute hand reaches the four, they all flip the paper in a unison, and the long day of torture finally begins.

Jongin does rather well on the Korean Language test, feeling pretty confident by the end of it. Mathematics, on the other hand, proves to be more complex, and he still isn’t sure where the minutes have gone as he walks towards the cafeteria for the lunch break.

A weird tension is engulfing the entire room, and everyone is talking about everything but the exam. Kris looks shakier than Jongin has even seen him, while Sehun just seems confused. Jongin stays silent and eats quickly, just wanting the day to be over.

After lunch, the English exam makes him think he could actually do well, but then, as the Sciences test ends after two hours, it sends him in a _what-the-hell-just-happened?_ mode, blankly staring at the wall and wondering if someone ever got a negative score.

He somehow manages to save the ship from going under with the Chinese exam, but he still thinks it would be a miracle if his total score was above the National average.

As Jongin slowly walks out of the building, every single face around him bores a disconcerted expression, and he tiredly laughs, shaking his head. This is what they’ve all been studying for, since they entered middle school, even since elementary school for some. The fact that they play their entire future, after all those years of hard work, on an eight-hour exam sounds ridiculous to him, but he probably isn’t the best placed to judge them, since entering one of the top-three universities has never been his goal. As long as he graduates high school, he really doesn’t care which college he gets into.

But of course, to get his diploma, he still needs to pass every class. And the exam today clearly showed him it won’t be an easy task.

He needs to talk to Kris about that fucking Chemistry grade. Maybe he can convince him to help without having to destroy someone’s face.

 

——

 

Monday rolls around before Jongin has the chance to have a conversation with his friend. Kris hasn’t answered any of his calls, and the younger suspects he might be a bit on edge, waiting for the results to be made available online.

The permanent frown and irritated attitude the elder wears the entire morning seems to prove him right, so Jongin avoids talking to Kris altogether, not wanting to be the target of his barking.

By chance, Sehun is more relaxed, which in turns seems to be aggravating Kris’ annoyance, but at least gives Jongin a reason to stay with his friends.

Lunch is spent in a weird atmosphere, and Jongin has to try his best not to snap back at Kris every time the elder throws rude comments at him. He didn’t _ask_ for today’s menu to include crunchy food, so he cannot really help it if his chewing is noisy.

However, everything gets even _worse_ as they make their way to their first afternoon class, and Jongin realizes what is about to happen just a little too late.  
Which sounds absurd, considering how aware he has been of his soulmate’s presence, lately.

Kyungsoo was apparently walking down the hallway in the opposite direction, and the moment he bypasses them, Jongin helplessly watches Kris grab a hold of the boy’s uniform jacket and furiously yanks him towards them. The younger seems to be taken by surprise too, and ends up tripping on his own feet, arms flying in the air to try to find his balance back.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t succeed and Jongin’s arms instinctively reach out to catch Kyungsoo just before their bodies violently collide, heart skipping a beat.

He should’ve seen it coming, really, but his face still contorts in shock when their soulmate bond takes over Kyungsoo’s body to prevent him from hurting Jongin, and sends the boy toppling away, his still flailing arm brutally slamming on Kris’ jaw.

Eyes bulging out and ears buzzing in panic, Jongin barely hears Sehun’s gasp, his mind solely focusing on Kris, who looks at Kyungsoo like he is about to murder him right on the spot.

This is not happening. Jongin _has to_ do something. But fear is drowning his mind and rendering him unable to think of anything.

Kyungsoo looks tense, albeit not afraid, and Jongin is terrified for him, scared the boy isn’t assessing the mood and just stays where he is instead of fucking _running_. He tries to catch his attention but Kyungsoo’s eyes are just staring at the tiled floor and Jongin wants to scream.

If angels exists, Jongin will gladly give wings to Sehun, though. Because a few seconds later, the boy is resonantly calling one of the nearby teachers’ name, asking about some random stuff they are going over in class, and effectively hindering Kris from doing anything when the professor calls them over, telling them to hurry and go to class.

Jongin’s heart is still racing when he watches Kyungsoo briskly walk away, but he still grabs both his friends by their arm and forces them, or mostly Kris, to move forward.

Shit just got from bad to disastrous, and he has no fucking clue how he is supposed to call their deal off now. In Kris’ eyes, Kyungsoo hit him, not once, but now twice. There is no way the elder is gonna let that go without repercussion.

 

——

 

It’s only three days and a lot of thinking later that Jongin finally grows the balls to bring the topic up.

“Man, can I talk to you for a minute?” he carefully asks during the break between two periods, trying not to look as nervous as he feels.

As Kris eyes him suspiciously, Sehun proves to be a divine creature once again when he tells them he needs to go see someone and stands from his chair, slaloming his way towards the opposite side of the classroom.

“What’s up?” Kris questions calmly, “Did you finally decide to give the son of a bitch what he deserves?”

Gulping down, Jongin glances down at his hands before looking back at his friend.

“Uhm...that’s… That’s actually what I wanted to talk about.”

“Then talk,” Kris sternly says.

“I… Okay, look, I know we had a deal, but…”

“But what?” the elder asks, voice harsher.

“I just- I don’t think it’s…” he tries to explain, before taking a deep breath, “I don’t _want_ to do it.”

“Why?”

This is not going well, Jongin is aware of that. The curt tone of Kris’ voice doesn’t leave any doubt about it. But he needs to keep going, nonetheless.

“I mean… I’m not exactly a fan of beating people up…”

“Right…”

“And I… He got here not long ago, and I don’t…”

“So?”

“So...I was thinking maybe we could...change that part of the arrangement?” he risks, mentally crossing his fingers.

“You’re joking, right?”

“Uhm… N-no?”

Jongin is not a coward. He really isn’t. But right now, he wouldn’t mind hiding under his desk, considering the invisible daggers Kris’ eyes are sending towards him.

“So, let me just check,” Kris says, way too calmly for Jongin’s taste, “You want to chicken out, let this motherfucker alone even if he punched me _twice_ , but I should still uphold my part of the deal?”

Well, voiced like this, Jongin has to admit it might not seem that appealing for the elder. But he has not much to offer that wouldn’t involve Kyungsoo, since Kris wants the boy’s head on a stick.

So he just stays silent and averts his eyes, waiting for Kris to say something, anything, as he can still feel his friend staring at him.

Long, everlasting seconds pass before Kris finally speaks out.

“Fine.”

“What?” Jongin gasps, eyes wide open flying up.

“I said _fine_ ,” the elder repeats with a shrug, every trace of anger vanishing from his face, “I can’t force you to do it, if you don’t want to,” he adds when Jongin keeps looking at him, clearly shocked.

“I… You…” the younger stutters, growing even more confused when Kris _chuckles_.

“You really look like you don’t want him to be hurt, so _fine_ , I’ll let it go, this time. You don’t have to do it,” Kris nods, before smirking, “You can stop chanting prayers in your head, now.”

Jongin awkwardly laughs before clearing his throat. He wasn’t expecting his friend to drop the matter so easily. Had he known, he would’ve talked to him about it way sooner.

“And don’t worry,” Kris adds, “I’ll still make sure you pass Chemistry.”

“...Thanks.”

“No problem,” the elder smiles, patting him on the shoulder just as their English teacher enters the room.

Sehun comes back to his desk, a silent question in his eyes, and Jongin grins at him, finally able to breathe more freely than he has been in weeks.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge warning for violence here!

Kyungsoo has been on edge all day. His mom texted him just when he arrived at school, to tell him Yoona wasn’t feeling good when she woke up, so they would take her to the hospital to make sure she was okay. Or at least, as okay as she could be.

He kept looking at his phone every five minutes, anxiously waiting for a message, and getting scolded a handful of times by his teachers.

When lunch arrived, he was still clueless, so he tried calling his moms, but none of them picked up, which obviously stressed him out even further. Even more so when the battery of his phone reached a critical single digit percentage before class even resumed for the afternoon.

He was barely able to focus on the lessons, his mind kilometers away, trying to mentally send all the good energy he could gather to his little sister.

He couldn’t allow anything happened to her. Not now. Not when he was so close to finally being able to help her.

When at long last, the end of his school day arrived, thirty minutes late because his teacher was sick the day before and they had material to catch up, Kyungsoo bolts out the room, not even bothering saying goodbye to Sooyoung.

He dashes in the hallways, ignoring the teacher yelling at him not to run, and speeds up his pace even more as soon as he steps outside.

He doesn’t know if Yoona is still in the hospital or if his moms brought her home, and since his phone eventually died, he can’t ask them. He quickly making a choice: home first. He breaks into a run, hoping he’ll catch the bus following the line towards his house. It’s a bit far from the school, but if he’s fast enough, he’ll make in on time, so he keeps sprinting, his backpack painfully bouncing against his spine, the heavy books digging in his skin.

Five minutes later, Kyungsoo can see the bus stopping at the end of the street, about one hundred meters ahead. And he would’ve accelerated, if only someone had not suddenly stepped up in front of him, forcing him to halt his race against time to avoid a collision.

“Sorry,” he pants, bending to put his hands on his knees and coughing a little as he tries to breathe properly, wincing when he feels the sweat running down his back under his uniform.

He sidesteps the person, not even looking at them and ready to start running again before the bus leaves and he has to wait another fifteen minutes, but an arm flies in front of him and he has to once more stop before hitting it.

“No, no, no,” a male voice says, “You and I are gonna have a little chat.”

“What?”

Confused, he looks to the side, and then up when he notices how tall the man is, guts twisting when he recognizes the face.

“Remember me?” the guy asks with a cocky grin.

Of course, Kyungsoo remembers him. Of course, he know who Kris is. _Everyone_ in school knows.

And he is pretty sure he can also guess what the guy wants to talk about.

But he doesn’t have time for this. Not when something could’ve happened to Yoona without him even _knowing._

“Not very talkative, are you?” Kris snorts, crossing his arms when he stays silent.

“What do you want?” he asks calmly, because maybe then Kris will finally insult him and let him fucking go.

But seeing how the senior laughs, things probably won’t go as he’d like.

“So you’re actually dumb, huh?”

“Look,” Kyungsoo sighs, quickly glancing at the bus to make sure it’s still there, “If it’s about the two times I hit you, it was an accident, okay?”

“It didn’t feel like an accident, though.”

“Well, it was. So drop it,” he asserts, doing his best to not sound too aggressive, but firm enough to make his point.

It doesn’t work, and Kris pushes him, forcing him to take a step back.

“Not so fast,” he says, shaking his head with a smug look on his face.

Closing his eyes for a second, Kyungsoo tries to remain calm. But then Kris shoves him again, and irritated, Kyungsoo slaps the senior’s arms away before starting to leave.

It doesn’t work this time either, and a leg suddenly jerks in front of his ankles and sends him tumbling forward until he falls on all four, hissing when his recently healed palms get scratched again.

Seems like Kris isn’t gonna let it go. He needs to find a way to get the fuck away.

“I said...” Kris articulates as Kyungsoo tries to stand, “Not so fast.”

With his foot, Kris pushes hard on Kyungsoo’s waist and the younger ends up on the ground again, the knee of his pants tearing on a small rock and drawing out a wince out of him. How the fuck is he gonna explain that to his moms?

“I’m not done with you.”

Before Kyungsoo has the time to think, Kris kicks him in the back, a grunt coming out as his stomach hits the ground, his chin hardly bumping on the gravelly concrete.

He should probably be worried about what is happening, but he can only focus on the bus that he can see leaving. He needs to get home.

Kyungsoo tries to crawl away as fast as he can, but hands grab his ankle and yank him back.

He once again cannot hold the hiss escaping his lips when his hands scrape against the pavement, skin shredding.

“Where are you going, little bitch?” Kris scoffs, ripping the backpack off his shoulders, causing his arms to painfully bend.

Thinking fast, Kyungsoo flips around so he lies on his back and he quickly kicks Kris in the knee. With a groan, the elder steps back, giving Kyungsoo a few seconds to get up. He is about to bolt, when the senior pounds on him, grabbing his waist and swinging him to the side.  
After less than a second in the air, Kyungsoo crashes on the concrete with a loud cry, breath escaping his lungs as his entire spine shake. Kris chases him to the ground, trapping Kyungsoo under him, strong thighs clasped around his waist.

Pain is still spreading from his back to his legs, and when the first punch falls, followed by several others, Kyungsoo helplessly tries to block them as much as he can.

At the same time, he thrashes to free himself from the tight hold. Kris takes advantage of the distraction to strike his face, knuckles crashing against his cheekbone and jaw in matte thuds.

“Stop!” Kyungsoo yells after getting his sternum hit, extracting yet another pained moan.

In the chaos, arms attempting to shield himself, Kris must come to close. His elbow hits something and the next thing Kyungsoo hears is a cried-out curse before he tastes metal. His eyes open and fall on Kris’ face, and on the blood dripping from his weirdly crooked nose directly above Kyungsoo’s mouth.

He looks so angry, and for the first time, Kyungsoo is scared. Genuinely afraid of what the guy might do to him.

“You son of a bitch!!!” the senior yells, throwing more punches, some successfully and painfully aimed.

If Kyungsoo stays here, if he doesn’t free himself _quickly_ , Kris is gonna destroy him.

So he keeps thrashing, as violently as he can, groans coming out of his mouth as his spine cries from the earlier impact, until he throws Kris out of balance.

The elder is fast to recover, though, and grabs Kyungsoo’s hair, jerking him up before flipping him and pushing his face against the ground.

Dust is sticking to his sweat and gravels tear through the skin of his cheek as he pathetically whimpers.

Yanking his head up, Kris slams it back on the ground, a loud shout echoing in the empty street, harmonizing with the sound of his skull hitting the concrete.

Disoriented and feeling like his head has been torn in two, Kyungsoo gets pushed to the side.

And if he was scared before, it’s nothing compared to the next moment, when Kris knees him in the stomach, full force.

Kyungsoo doesn’t care about his face. But _that_ , he cannot allow. He cannot let Kris ruin everything.

Crawling to the side with a choked sob, he tries to protect his abdomen, leaving free range to Kris, who punches him once more. Once on the shoulder, once on the temple.

Vision blurry and body hurting all over, Kyungsoo tries to drag himself away, crying for someone, _anyone_ , to help, but Kris yanks him back again.

It takes a new kick to his stomach for Kyungsoo to finally snap.

He _cannot_ let that shithead ruin everything.

With the last remains of his strength, he raises himself on his knees and throws a punch, not exactly aiming. By some miracle, he still manages to hit Kris in the throat, and the elder starts coughing uncontrollably. In the middle of his fit, Kris jerks his arm randomly, whacking Kyungsoo’s head on the side, wrist smacking his ear and making him lose his balance and fall on his back, spine cracking.

Head spinning and eardrum ringing, he isn’t sure where he is anymore. But survival instincts take over and Kyungsoo crawls backward, getting up on his feet in what feels like slow motion, tumbling and panting as he stumbles. His face his still throbbing, abdomen already sore. He can’t see or hear properly. He just knows he needs to get out of here.

But before his thoughts clear up enough, Kris is already standing, furiously wiping the blood still running.

“I’m gonna kill you,” he growls, eyes shining with a deathly glow.

Kyungsoo doesn’t think. He charges forward, bending his back. A grunt falls out of his lips when his shoulder collides with Kris stomach, arms circling his waist. He pushes, and with the momentum and the surprise effect, Kyungsoo knocks the elder off of his feet, Kris’ back slamming on the ground with a resonant thwack. He quickly recoils when the senior’s arm tries to grab his leg, and the next moment, Kyungsoo is tumbling away, and grabbing his backpack, a hand on the ground to prevent him from falling. Leaving Kris on the concrete, Kyungsoo limps away as fast as his body lets him, a hand on his abdomen and worry filling his mind.

 

\------------------------------------------------------

 

“Where are you?”

“I’m coming, chill!”

“Hurry the fuck up!”

“Where are _you_?”

“Behind a tree! There’s a guy on the rooftop!”

“What rooftop?”

“The one in front of me, Sehun!!! Gas station!”

“I don’t see you!!! Oh wait! Here you are!”

“Get fucking rid of him! I can’t move and he’s got a sniper rifle!”

“Okay just wait, I’m getting up!”

“I can’t fucking do anything but wait!”

“Okay, I’m on the roof! Chill, Jongin, chill”

“Did he see you?”

“No?”

“I’ll distract him but be quick! I’m almost dead and I don’t have any med kit!”

“Okay, ready?”

“Three, two, one… Now!!!”

Pressing A on his keyboard, Jongin gets his character to move left, clicking twice on his mouse left button to fire, before smashing the D key to go back hiding behind the tree.

“I’m coming for you motherfucker!” Sehun screams on his headset, assaulting Jongin’s eardrums through his headphones, “Oh fuck!”

“What?!”

“Ran out of ammo!!! Fuck fuck fuck!!!”

“Wait I have a grenade launcher!” Jongin shouts, swiping through his weapon slots until he gets the right one.

“Why did you not use it before?!”

“Just get the hell outta here!”

“Hold on, I’m healing up!”

“You got med kits?!!”

“Yeah?”

“Why didn’t you give me one?!”

“I don’t know, we gotta move! We’re out of the circle!”

“Wait, there’s a pump shotgun and ammos in the container!” Jongin exclaims, making his character run forward in a slalom to avoid the bullets fired at him from the bastard on the rooftop.

“Loot quick and run!”

“I still need bandages!”

“I’ll give you some! Fucking _run_!!”

“Parkour!!!” he yells, assaulting his keyboard as Sehun shouts curses at someone coming his way.

Space bar and jump, left Shift and _sprint_.

He is almost out of his range, when rooftop-guy seems to have found a new spot and starts shooting repeatedly. The next second, a big bold text appears on his screen.

 **PUSSY_MACHINE** ELIMINATED YOU  
YOU PLACED #8

“Goddamnit!!!”

On the other side of town, Sehun proceeds to laugh way louder than he should and Jongin takes off his headset, throwing it on his desk to avoid hearing his friend cackling any longer.

“This is your fault!” he screams, knowing the mic is still working and Sehun will hear him.

The younger answers something, but all Jongin hears is a faint babbling, so he eventually picks the headset and put it back on, readjusting the mic who angled itself weirdly during its rough desk-landing.

“-ed kit and ammo, that’s not on me. And you suck at Fortnite, anyway,” Sehun snorts, and Jongin doesn’t need to know what the first half of the sentence to was, to wanna smack his friend’s head.

“ _You_ suck,” he replies in a grumpy tone.

“Yet, I’m still alive!”

“Shut up.”

“If I finish Top 1, you’re buying me lunch on Monday.”

“Like hell I am!” he protests, gaping.

Sehun is laughing again when Jongin hears a quiet ringing. Figuring out it’s not coming from his headphones, he takes them off and listens to the quiet house.

Another ring. The front door.

Eyeing his window, he frowns seeing the night has already fallen, a quick glance at his clock confirming it’s half past nine. Who the fuck visits that late on a Friday night?

He quickly put the headset back on.

“Gotta go, someone rang the door.”

“Okay. If it’s a serial killer and you die, I’ll buy you lunch on Monday.”

“Deal.”

“Stop shooting at me, you dickhead!!”

With Sehun focused back on the game, Jongin removes his headset once more and logs out from his account before exiting his bedroom.

The house is dark and silent as he climbs down the stairs, until the doorbell rings again, spooking him out a bit.

For a second, he contemplates taking a knife from the kitchen, but decided against it. If it is their neighbor, the old lady might die on the spot from a heart attack.

There is no peephole on the front door, so Jongin glues his ear to the wood, trying to discern some noise, only to violently startle when someone knocks, extracting a pathetic squeak out of him.

Well, if he dies, Sehun promised to buy him lunch.

He carefully unlocks the door, and cracks it open, getting ready to shut it fast if anything suspicious is on the other side. But the moment his eyes fall on the familiar figure standing on the porch, his hand yanks the handle to open it wide.

“K- Kyungsoo?”

Face bruised and smeared with dried blood, the boy looks up at him, looking exhausted and embarrassed.

“Hey,” he croaks out, wincing as he offers Jongin an awkward little smile.

“What the hell happened?” Jongin gasps, taking a small step forward as panic fills his mind, guts twisting when Kyungsoo flinches at the sudden movement.

“Can I come in?”

A second later, Jongin is sidestepping, making way for the boy to enter the house, his hand instinctively flying up to wrap around his elbow when he sees him limping.

“Kyungsoo…”

“I’m sorry to bother you,” the boy breathes, shivering at the contrast of temperature between the cold wind and the warmth inside the house, “I wanted to call Sooyoung but my phone’s dead, and… I didn’t know where else to go… I don’t want my moms to see…”

“It’s fine,” Jongin reassures him hastily, eyes roaming on his entire frame to assess the damage. Questions can wait. “Come on, we need to clean you up.”

“Thanks.”

Kyungsoo lets himself be led towards the stairs, not even rejecting the help when Jongin’s arm curls around his waist to support him on their way up. It would probably fluster Jongin to be this close to him, if only he wasn’t so worried.

“How did you get my address,” he asks, opening the bathroom door and helping the boy to sit on the shut toilet cover.

“Uhm...you dad mentioned you lived in this neighborhood. I just searched your names on the mailboxes…”

“My dad?” Jongin asks, looking away from the medicine cabinet in surprise, “You know him?”

“He’s Yoona’s doctor,” Kyungsoo explains, visibly uncomfortable and in pain.

“Oh…”

It takes him a few minutes to gather everything he will need, his hands a bit shaky from trying to be fast, but when he finally kneels in front of Kyungsoo, he forces himself to calm down.

“Are you hurt anywhere other than your face?”

“I might’ve some bruises...on my back, and on my stomach,” Kyungsoo says, looking down to the floor, “I’m not sure.”

“Okay, let’s start with your face, then,” he decides, watching the boy nod slowly, “Can you try to take off your jacket? Just so there’s no dirt getting on the wounds once I clean them,” he hastily adds when he sees Kyungsoo’s body tensing.

The reason is valid enough for Kyungsoo to concede. The quiet groan escaping him, however, propels Jongin in his worried state again, and he reaches out instantly to help him, delicately pushing the fabric off the younger’s shoulders and apologizing in a breath after every wince Kyungsoo fails to hide.

Once the blazer is set on the side, Jongin gets up to wash his hands, tucking his sleeves up as he kneels back on the floor.

“I’m gonna have to wash everything first, before putting antiseptic,” he details, as he heard nurses talk to patients at the hospital, just for the sake of saying something instead of letting the silence stretch for too long.

Kyungsoo merely nods, eyes still lowered on the tiled floor, so Jongin grabs the softest face cloth he could find and plunges it into the warm water filled bowl.

Carefully, he presses it against Kyungsoo’s forehead, wiping away the dry mix of sweat and dirt and trying not to upset the sizable bump laying there, before rinsing the cloth. He does the same on the boy’s entire face, whispering apologies again whenever Kyungsoo hisses or clench his teeth. At some point, Jongin starts wondering why on earth he isn’t the one feeling the pain he is causing at the moment, but then, Kyungsoo flinches and his hand curls around Jongin’s elbow as he lets out a whimper, and the elder forces himself to focus back on his task.

Once he is done, he changes the water in the bowl, and repeats the process one more time, to make sure his skin is as clean as possible.

“I need to call my moms, they must be worried,” Kyungsoo suddenly says, voice quiet and still not looking at Jongin.

“I’ll let you use my phone, “Jongin nods, offering him a reassuring smile.

“I went home but they were there, with Yoona,” he continues, and despite being surprised to hear Kyungsoo share information when he didn’t ask, Jongin doesn’t show it, “So I didn’t get in. I didn’t want them to worry.”

“It’s okay, I’m glad you came here,” Jongin answers before realizing he maybe shouldn’t have said that.

After all, they are not exactly friends. And Kyungsoo still has no idea _Jongin_ is his soulmate.

But if his words are bothering Kyungsoo, the boy doesn’t mention it and remains still as Jongin grabs the antiseptic spray and a pack of sterile gauze.

“It might...sting a little,” he warns, since he is still confused about not feeling any pain earlier.

He cannot have made a mistake. Kyungsoo _is_ his soulmate, he knows it, he can feel it. But he never heard of a soul bond glitching, so he isn’t sure what is going wrong.

Unfortunately, the first drizzle of disinfectant extracts a grunt out of Kyungsoo, which in turn carves a deep crease between Jongin’s brows.

This is not normal. He is the one hurting Kyungsoo right now, not exactly with the purpose of harming him, but it’s not an accident, so _he_ should feel the pain.

He pats the damp gauze on the scratch running along Kyungsoo’s cheek, as well as on his chin, trying his best to be as gentle as can, to avoid upsetting the fragile scab that already formed on the scrapes.

“What happened?” he asks, sounding more nonchalant than he really feels.

Kyungsoo just shakes his head, lightly, but it still elicits another wince, and Jongin sighs, grabbing the tweezers when he notices a few tiny gravel still embedded in Kyungsoo’s cheekbone.

“Jongin, do you know what you’re doing?” Kyungsoo asks when he sees the item coming close to his eye.

Despite the words, his tone isn’t as guarded as it was before, so Jongin decides to try to lighten the atmosphere a bit more. He used his name again.

“My dad’s a surgeon, remember?” he says with a smug look, beaming when Kyungsoo quietly chuckles.

“Yeah, your dad. Not you.”

“I’m good with taking care of injuries,” he shrugs, dropping the act, “Got a few over the years, so don’t be worried.”

“I’m not,” Kyungsoo replies, making a brief eye contact showing Jongin he means it.

Once the scrapes are properly dressed with wound dressing, he gets up and looks at Kyungsoo hesitantly.

“I should take a look at your back and uhm...your stomach, too…”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo nods, but remains seated still.

“Uhm...you’re gonna have to...take off your shirt,” Jongin says, cursing himself in his mind for stuttering.

He needs to fucking get a grip. He is supposed to help Kyungsoo, not getting all flustered at the idea of seeing him _shirtless_.

It’s not like he has never seen shirtless guys before, for fuck’s sake!

 _Not ones he was supposed to end his life with_ , his brain unnecessarily provides, earning a mental slap.

“I’ll...go grab an ice pack in the freezer while you...take it off,” he manages to utter, before exiting the room when he feels his cheeks growing warmer.

By the time he re-enters the bathroom, he is a bit more composed, which almost gets ruined when he sees Kyungsoo _did_ remove his shirt and is sitting there, just waiting for him.

Clearing his throat, he quickly hands him his phone that he grabbed from his bedroom on his way back.

“Here, you can call them now, if you want,” he says, tidying up the first aid kit to keep himself busy.

“Thank you.”

“You should hold that against your cheek, too,” he adds, placing the ice pack on Kyungsoo’s lap and hearing him mutter yet another 'thanks', “Is it okay if I check your back while you’re on the phone?” he then asks, just in case Kyungsoo prefers to have some privacy.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” the boy nods, shuffling a bit forward so Jongin can have an easier access.

He doesn’t find any bruise on Kyungsoo’s back, but there is some scraping close to his hip, so he grabs the antiseptic and a new sterile gauze pad, getting to work while Kyungsoo enters a phone number.

“Hey mom,” the boy says, and he hears a female voice starting to gush on the other side of the line, “No, I’m fine! I’m sorry, my phone died, I couldn’t called you earlier.” A new pause, his mom voice seems a little calmer, “No, no, don’t worry. I’m really sorry,” he apologizes again, “Actually, I… I wanna ask you something. Hold on...”

With yet another wince, Kyungsoo detaches the phone from his ears, rolling his shoulder for a few seconds before sighing, jaw clenched.

“You can put it on speaker if it hurts to lift your arm for too long,” Jongin whispers as quietly as he can, keeping his eyes on the scratch he is cleaning.

“Is it okay if I stay here tonight?” Kyungsoo breathes out, placing his palm on the phone’s microphone.

Eyes open wide, Jongin looks up at him, more surprised by the request.

“I just...I don’t want them to see me like that,” the younger explains, still as quiet.

“Y-yes, of course,” Jongin dumbly nods, before having an idea, “You can stay the whole weekend if you want,” he risks in an encouraging tone, “My dad is out of town for a conference.”

Their eyes lock, and as the silence stretches, Jongin prays for the boy to agree. Until finally, Kyungsoo sighs again and taps the speaker icon on the screen.

“I’m here, sorry,” he apologizes again, “So, uhm...I completely forgot to talk to you about it but...I have to work on a project. With a classmate,” Kyungsoo says, and Jongin can see he is making all of this up as he speaks, “I’m at his house, right now. Is it okay if I stay here?...For the weekend?” he ends and Jongin does his best to hide his smile, focusing on the peeled skin he just notices on Kyungsoo’s palms, taking the phone off his hand and settling it on the younger’s lap.

“Of course!” his mom answers, and Jongin recognizes the broken accent of the blond woman he saw at the hospital, “Do you have some change of clothes? Are his parents fine with it?”

“Yeah, they agreed. And I’ll manage for the clothes,” he says, glancing up at Jongin with a silent question in his eyes, “I’m really sorry I didn’t mention it earlier, it completely skipped out of my mind.”

“Don’t worry, Twinkle!” she reassures him with a chuckle and Jongin raises an eyebrow, amused, “Just text me if you need me to pick you up!”

“No, it’s fine, I’ll take an early bus on Monday to come home before school.”

“Alright, you boys have fun, then.”

“Thanks.”

“Oh wait, Yoona wants to speak to you! She wouldn’t go to bed before knowing if you were fine!”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo softly chuckles.

There is shuffling on the line, presumably because the phone is being passed from hand to smaller hand.

“Twinkle?” Jongin whispers, trying his best not to laugh and pretending to be focused on disinfecting the scratches on the younger’s palms.

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo breathes, clearly embarrassed, “I would only fall asleep if they sang “Twinkle, twinkle, little star” to me when I was a baby.”

“That’s cute,” Jongin says, tongue poking out.

He doesn’t know why Kyungsoo is suddenly sharing that much, when up until now, ‘ _That’s none of your business_ ’ seemed to be his motto when it came to him, but Jongin sure isn’t about to complain!

“Whatever,” the younger brushes off, letting Jongin grabs his other hand without protest, nonetheless.

“Oppa!”

“Hey Princess!”

Instantly, Kyungsoo’s face brightens and softens at the same time, as if he had just heard the best news ever.

“Oppa, mommy said you’re not coming home!” the little girl says, and Jongin can hear the distinct pout in her voice.

“I’m with a friend, we have to do homework together,” Kyungsoo answers, voice apologetic and looking as if he was genuinely sad.

“Is it the weird oppa?” Yoona asks, and without thinking about it, Jongin gasps

“I’m not weird!!” he exclaims, without remembering he was supposed to stay silent.

Yoona’s giggles fill the room, rendered a bit metallic through the speaker.

“I’ll be home on Monday,” Kyungsoo says, quickly looking at Jongin, probably to check if it’s really okay, to which he answers with a definite nod.

“Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise.”

“Okay. Can I talk to weird oppa?” Yoona then asks and Jongin dramatically sighs, rolling his eyes, before beaming when Kyungsoo _chuckles_ again. Louder.

“I’m here,” the elder says, keeping his eyes on the junior’s face.

He looks so much more relaxed now, Jongin has no doubt it has everything to do with speaking with the little girl.

“You have to be nice with Kyungsoo oppa, okay?” she tells, or rather _orders_ him.

“...Okay.”

“He promised we’ll go to Disneyland when I’m not sick anymore,” she proudly claims, “So don’t be mean and weird!”

“I’m _not_ weird!!!” he gasps once more.

He is not even sure what the link is between Disneyland and him being potentially mean. But there is a more pressing matter than trying to understand the quirky logic of a four-year-old.

What the hell did Kyungsoo tell his sister for her to think he is weird?!

He would ask the boy, but Kyungsoo is currently pursing his lips really hard to refrain from laughing, bringing a hand up to hide it when he does crack up, and Jongin’s heart is melting.

“Stop laughing,” he scolds the younger, but his voice is void of any bite.

He is even _smiling_ at Kyungsoo…

On the phone, Yoona giggles, which in turns makes Kyungsoo cackle, looking evidently happy. But then he winces, hand flying against his stomach and Jongin’s grin falters, crease back between his brows.

“Princess, we have to go,” Kyungsoo says, tone apologetic, “We have work to do.”

“Okay!” she replies, sounding content, “I’ll be waiting! Don’t forget to come home!”

“I won’t. Sleep well!”

“You too! You too weird oppa!” she laughs, earning another groan from said weird oppa.

“Sweet dreams,” he wishes her nonetheless, because if Kyungsoo loves this sassy little girl, then Jongin can probably make some room in his heart for her, too. She is small, anyway.

Jongin is about to grab his phone that still lays on Kyungsoo’s thigh, when he notices the tear at the knee on his pants. He lightly pulls on the fabric to check if the skin has been damaged underneath, reassured when he sees it’s only somewhat red but didn’t get scratched.

Nodding, he then eyes Kyungsoo’s abdomen, still hidden by one of his hands. Then, glancing up to make sure Kyungsoo won’t be startled, he slowly reaches out, fingers delicately curling around his wrist and pulling it out of the way.

Once again, relief floods his mind when he sees there doesn’t seem to be any visible damage.

Kyungsoo is hurting, though, so Jongin stands and moves to snatch some painkiller from the medicine cabinet. He hands two pills and a glass of water to the younger, who takes them without protesting.

“Are you hungry?” he asks, assuming Kyungsoo hasn’t eaten yet.

“I could eat,” the younger shrugs, almost immediately stopping his motion with a wince and a quiet hiss.

“I have some leftover from dinner, I can heat that up, if you want…” he says, getting a nod from Kyungsoo, “You...can take a shower while I do that,” he then suggests, putting the first aid kit inside the cabinet, “I’ll lend you some clothes to wear.”

“Thanks…”

“No problem. Uhm...just...call if you need help,” he ends before exiting the room before he starts thinking too much about himself helping Kyungsoo while he _showers_. _Naked_.

Thankfully, or unfortunately, depending on who you would ask, Kyungsoo manages to clean himself on his own, ending up awkwardly standing in the elder’s room, wearing the clothes Jongin has placed inside the bathroom _without_ peeking through the shower curtain.

The pajama pants are just a tad too long, and the loose-fitting shirt a bit _too_ loose, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

“I brought the food here, so you don’t have to go up and down the stairs,” Jongin says, beckoning Kyungsoo over his desk where he placed the tray, “I’ll put some arnica cream on your bruises and band-aids where needed when you’re done.”

Once more, Kyungsoo merely nods and complies, which is still surprising to Jongin who had grown used to be glared at or just blatantly ignored.

The younger sits on the chair, glancing at the computer screen still displaying Fortnite’s launching screen, and Jongin mentally pats himself on the head for logging out. Kyungsoo really doesn’t need to be made aware of his stupid username.

“You play?” Jongin still asks, just because he doesn’t want the room to fall silent while Kyungsoo eats.

“No, I’m not really into video games,” Kyungsoo says, blowing on the rice before pushing the spoon in his mouth.

“Oh... What do you do in your free time, then?”

Not that video games are the only thing someone can do, but he has to start somewhere if he wants to learn some stuff about Kyungsoo, right?

The frown between the younger’s thick eyebrows isn’t reassuring, though.

“I don’t know, I mostly spend time with my sister,” he says after swallowing his mouthful, “Either at home, or at the hospital when it’s a non-school day and she needs to go.”

“You two seem really close,” Jongin states, because he can hear it clear as day in Kyungsoo’s voice.

“I guess, yeah. She doesn’t go to school, so she doesn’t really have friends,” Kyungsoo says, frown deepening, “She doesn’t see much people in general… Except doctors and nurses.”

“Is she really sick?”

“Yeah…”

“What does she have?” Jongin asks hesitantly, not wanting to probe too much and ruin the small progress he made up until now. When Kyungsoo sighs and only stares at his plate, Jongin backpedals, “It’s okay, I know it’s _none of my business_ ,” he quotes, offering an awkward smile even if Kyungsoo isn’t looking at him, “You don’t have to-”

“It’s her kidneys,” Kyungsoo says quietly, but loud enough for Jongin to hear him and halt his own sentence, “They’re...fucked up, to put it simply,” the younger continues, “She has been doing dialysis two times a week since she turned one.”

Heart tightening, Jongin can’t help but mirror Kyungsoo’s frown. Yoona seems to be such a happy kid, it seems unfair that she has to go through this. But it helps him understand why Kyungsoo is so protective with her.

“Is there anything more that can be done to help her?” he asks, mostly clueless about this kind of health issue.

“Her previous doctor said she would probably need a transplant, when she’d get older. But it was tricky to find a donor. Even if kids are prioritized on the waiting-list,” Kyungsoo says with a sigh, now just moving the rice in the plate and staring at it.

Jongin wants to tell him to eat some more, but the younger seems to be willing to share things about him, and Jongin doesn’t wanna stop him, so he stays silent and settles with a nod and a hum to show he is listening.

He still isn’t sure _why_ Kyungsoo is opening up. He just knows the younger looks tired. The kind of fatigue that doesn’t come from the lack of sleep, but from life throwing _too much_ at you. He is starting to understand the bored expression Kyungsoo used to sport might’ve been weariness all along.

“So my moms tried to find information about Yoona’s parents. That’s why they came to Busan while I stayed with my grandparents in Canada,” Kyungsoo indicates, reminding Jongin of what Seulgi had mentioned, months ago, “They weren’t even supposed to stay… But they found out her mother used a fake name when she gave birth to Yoona. She left close to zero information about her, even less about the father,” Kyungsoo says, poking the rice in visible annoyance, “The hospital brought Yoona to an orphanage in Busan after the woman disappeared without a trace. We adopted her when she was only four months old.”

“Wow… That’s...wow,” Jongin eloquently provides, and Kyungsoo simply nods, a sad smile stretching his lips.

“They were supposed to come back to Canada, the three of them. But Yoona’s health suddenly got worse. She was too weak to travel, so I decided to come here too,” Kyungsoo says, dropping the spoon, “We moved to Seoul ‘cause we heard there was a really great pediatric surgeon here,” he adds, glancing at Jongin.

“My dad?”

“Apparently, yeah,” Kyungsoo nods again, before looking away, “I had a conversation with him when I met him, and I…”

Seeing how the younger seems to hesitates, Jongin decides humor might help him.

“You found out his son was a jerk?” he snickers, content when he sees Kyungsoo’s lips twitching up.

“I decided to take the tests,” the junior says, this time looking at Jongin and not averting his eyes.

“The tests?”

“To see if I was compatible. To give her one of my kidneys.”

“Oh…”

“Turns out I am. He wasn’t very enthusiastic when I first brought it up, but after we talked, he agreed to let me undergo all the physical examinations and psychological evaluations. He said that, if by the time I’m eighteen, I’m still on board...then he’ll do it.”

So _that_ ’s why Kyungsoo was going to the hospital so often.

Jongin would like to be proud that his soulmate is brave enough to do that for his sister. And he is. But a part of him is also growing more worried by the second. He heard about live-donors, he knows it’s not uncommon. But it can’t possibly be risk-free. Surgery never is. Especially when removing an _organ_ is involved.

But soulmate or not, even if they were friends, Jongin isn’t stupid enough to think he has the right to tell Kyungsoo he should think about it a bit more. He probably did, anyway.

“W-when are you supposed to do it?” he asks instead, because his heart still needs to at least know, to prepare itself.

The look Kyungsoo sends him confuses him a little. He seems surprised, yet curious. Borderline contemplative. But in the blink of an eye, he has averted his gaze back on his plate.

“I’ll turn eighteen in January, so...with that out of the way, it can be any time. Your dad suggested late June, so Yoona and I would have the whole two-month summer break to recover, since hopefully she’ll be able to start going to school after the surgery…”

“…But?”

“That was the plan before her condition worsened,” Kyungsoo sighs after a short silence, “The day you saw me at the hospital, she was admitted in an emergency,” he adds and it suddenly clicks in Jongin’s mind.

The patient his father was talking about, the one he needed the notes about, it was _Yoona_.

“Her kidneys are just...giving up,” Kyungsoo falters, his voice sounding strained, as if his throat was closing in.

Without thinking, Jongin starts reaching out, wanting to grab Kyungsoo’s hand, at least just to hold it. Before realizing it might not be such a welcomed gesture and retracting his arm back on his side, clasping his palms together on his lap to prevent any other stupid impulse.  
After all, and even if Kyungsoo is sharing some personal things, they still don’t know each other that well.  
Or at all, really.

And Kyungsoo still has no idea Jongin is his soulmate.

“Then…”

“If she can’t wait, we’ll have to do it during spring break instead. Mostly so I don’t have to miss school.”

“But… There’s only two _weeks_ of break…”

“I guess I’ll have to recover quickly,” Kyungsoo says, offering a bittersweet smile to Jongin, “I just need to be extra careful. That’s why I was worried the kick to my stomach had-”

Jongin watches Kyungsoo’s eyes widen, his lips clamping in a tight line. Seems like he didn’t plan on revealing that information. But now that Jongin knows for sure someone _kicked_ him, he can’t help the bad feeling slowly settling in his guts. Something is _wrong_.

“Kyungsoo, what happened?” he asks carefully, but voice unwavering, “Don’t tell me it’s nothing, because it’s obviously not,” he quickly adds when he sees the younger shaking his head, “Who did this to you?”

“I didn’t know him.”

“Really?” Jongin insists, because somehow, he feels like Kyungsoo isn’t telling the truth.

And it seems his intuition is right when he sees him sigh. Again.

“Look, I just-… I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” Kyungsoo answers eventually, “At least, not now.”

Jongin isn’t exactly satisfied, but Kyungsoo didn’t completely brush him off. He just asked for a little time.  
Jongin can give him that. They’re soulmates. They have nothing but time, he thinks, nodding and smiling when the junior grabs his spoon and starts eating again.

“By the way,” he asks, deciding to lighten the mood, “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot,” Kyungsoo says around his mouthful.

“How come your sister calls you Oppa, but you call _me_ by my name?” he inquires, because although he really likes hearing Kyungsoo’s voice pronounce his name, he is still curious, “I’m _older_ than you…”

“You have to earn the respect that comes with the honorific,” Kyungsoo deadpans.

“What?!” Jongin gasps, appalled.

But then, suddenly, Kyungsoo is snorting, looking amused. Amused by _Jongin_!  
So far, every time the elder saw him like that was, Yoona was systematically involved in the conversation.

Did Kyungsoo seriously just _teased_ him?!

“I’m kidding,” the younger says with a side grin, “It’s just... Honorifics aren’t a thing, where I grew up. It’s not something that comes to me naturally, I guess,” he explains, “My friends and I have always called each other by our names, regardless of who was older or younger.”

“Do you miss them?” Jongin asks, noticing the use of the past tense.

“Mmh,” Kyungsoo nods, his smile turning a little sadder, “But it’s fine. I need to be here, right now. This is more important.”

  
They end up watching a movie in the living room, Kyungsoo staying silent when Jongin helps him down the stairs. He doesn’t utter a word as Jongin applies cream on his bruises, puts band-aids wherever he deems fit, or gives him stronger painkillers, either. And he still remains quiet when Jongin covers him with a soft, fluffy plaid, after he notices Kyungsoo is shaking because of the ice pack he forced him to keep on his stomach.

Of course, Jongin won’t complain. But he can’t help the curiosity filling his mind at the absence of objection. He didn’t even receive a single glare!

 

It’s almost one in the morning when he places the bed blanket neatly on top of the younger.

Once more, Kyungsoo didn’t even protest when he told him he would let him use his bed, adding that he himself would sleep in his father’s bedroom for the weekend.

He was glad for the lack of resistance. Albeit surprising again, he liked the idea of Kyungsoo sleeping in his bed.

He is about to wish him a good night and leave when Kyungsoo shuffles a bit and instantly wince, halting all movements.

Jongin slowly sits on the edge of the bed, and helps him roll on his side.

“Does it hurt a lot?” he asks when Kyungsoo grimaces.

“I can handle a little pain, it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not,” he retorts, aware that he might look childish with his lips pouting.

“Hey, I got to throw a few punches too,” Kyungsoo scoffs tiredly, “I’m not that defenseless,”

The painkillers are visibly starting to kick in, and he looks and sounds so drowsy that Jongin wants to laugh at how contrasting his appearance is compared to his last words.

“You’re obviously not seeing yourself right now…”

“Does it look that bad?”

“Pretty bad, yeah…”

“Ah, I should’ve told him not to aim at my face. Now it’s all fucked up,” Kyungsoo says, speech starting to sound really slurry by now.

“It still look good, don’t worry,” he says, before mentally wincing, “I mean- It’s not… You know…”

Great. Really smooth.

“Relax, I get it,” Kyungsoo sleepily chuckles before a sluggish groans comes out of his lips, the laugh probably upsetting his sore abdomen and back, “Thanks for the compliment, though,” he finishes, eyes closing.

“Kyungsoo…”

“Mmh?”

“For real, how much does it hurt?” he asks, because he needs to know, even if Kyungsoo is already drifting into sleep.

“Mmh. It’s okay. Should’ve seen it coming...”

“What?”

“I’ve had it coming….”

“What do you mean?” he presses, frowning when Kyungsoo lets out a slow chuckle, eyes still shut and face growing more peaceful by the second.

“He hits really hard…”

“Kyungsoo... Who did this to you?”

Deep in his mind, he knows he has the answer, but either because it’s too painful, or because he doesn’t wanna believe it, he can’t bring it up to the surface.

“Mmh…” the younger hums, shaking his head with the tiniest frown, as if it was too tiring for his face to pull out any expression.

“ _Who_ did this to you?”

“Jongin, stop,” the younger breathes, voice barely audible, and Jongin has to lean down to hear him.

His hand reaches to where he thinks Kyungsoo’s own lays under the thick cover, pressing lightly.

He _needs_ to know.

“Who was it?”

And even though the name is pronounced in a whisper right before Kyungsoo finally falls into deep slumber, it rings loudly in the silent bedroom, echoing and bouncing inside Jongin’s mind, leaving his ears whistling as his heart misses a beat.

“Kris…”


	4. Chapter 4

Jongin spends the entire weekend itching to bring the issue up. It’s on the tip of his tongue the whole time, threatening to come out every single time his eyes graze Kyungsoo’s face, or when he sees him wince as he moves. But the younger is clearly avoiding the topic, so Jongin bites the inside of his cheek and keeps his mouth shut.

He makes a quick trip to the drugstore on Saturday morning, while Kyungsoo is still asleep, and buys a concealer. The cheerful cashier tells him she has the same one, adding it does wonders and that his girlfriend will definitely love it. He smiles awkwardly and pays for it, just hoping he got the right shade for Kyungsoo’s pale skin. They didn’t have _that_ many options.

It ends up being actually _too_ pale when they test it on his cheek, and since the bruises have turned into deep plum and navy blotches, the cream looks greyish when applied on top of them. Kyungsoo quietly thanks him nonetheless, and drops it in his backpack. He can’t do much for the scabs or the still huge bump on his forehead, but at least it’ll look less serious without the contusions.

By Monday morning, he is restless, his mind playing every scenario possible that could take place today, if Kyungsoo and Kris cross path on school ground. And although he kept quiet for two days, now that Kyungsoo is getting ready to leave, he needs to bring it up.

It’s barely five in the morning, and the boy looks exhausted as he puts his shoes on. He is wearing clothes Jongin lent him, since his uniform is ripped in various places. He plans on going home to change into his second one, and taking the stuff he’ll need for today’s classes. The bus ride is long, but hopefully, if he is quick enough, his moms and sister will still be asleep when he leaves the house.

“Are you gonna be okay?” Jongin hesitantly asks as he hands the boy one of his thicker coat.

“Yeah, if they ask, I’ll just tell them I fell or something.”

His face doesn’t look like he just fell, but Jongin avoids pointing it out. Kyungsoo probably knows it, anyway.

“I didn’t...mean your moms,” he says, slightly shaking his head, “I was talking about…”

“Well, hopefully he thinks I got what I deserved and he’ll leave me alone,” Kyungsoo shrugs, slipping his arms in the coat’s sleeve.

“What if he doesn’t?”

“I’ll deal with it if necessary.”

“I could… I could talk to him? Maybe he’ll listen to-”

“Don’t bother,” Kyungsoo interrupts him without even sparing him a glance.

“But… I can’t just do _nothing_!”

“Yes, you can. And you will,” the younger affirms, sliding the zipper up.

“But you’re… We’re…”

Jongin wants to tell him. He wants Kyungsoo to understand, to know _why_ he cannot just stand still and remain quiet. He has been pondering the whole weekend about that too, and now it feels like time is running out and he won’t have the opportunity to tell him if he doesn’t do it now.  
Kyungsoo is already reverting back into his distant attitude, avoiding his eyes and speaking in a detached tone.

But before he can blurt everything out, the boy cuts him.

“Look, because we’re soulmates doesn’t mean you have to act on it if you don’t want to,” he states, and Jongin eyes suddenly bulge out of their socket, almost enough to fall down.

“What?!” he gasps.

“You don’t have to play the hero and save me. You don’t have to do _anything_.”

“ No I meant...you knew?!” he gapes, receiving a brief nod in answer, “Since when?!!” he asks, utterly shocked.

“That day on the self-study room,” the younger shrugs, “It was you I was planning on hitting with that book.”

“What?!”

“I was about to, but my brain fucking lost it and my arm jerked. Kris got hit instead, and the rest is history.”

“Wha- Wait, you were gonna hit _me_?!”

What on earth is happening?

“You were being really loud,” Kyungsoo calmly explains, “It was getting on my nerves.”

“Enough to _hit_ me?!”

“You tried to hurt me too, remember? You actually tripped me. Don’t act like you’re a saint.”

His voice is curt, like he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“But-”

“Okay look, that’s not even the point,” Kyungsoo sighs, “Are we soulmates? Yes. But does that mean we have to do anything about it? No. If you hate my ass, then just ignore me and I’ll do the same. It’s as simple as that. A lot of people don’t spend their lives with their other half.”

Brows knitted together, Jongin stares at him. Is it really what Kyungsoo thinks? Is it what Jongin showed this weekend, as he was _taking care_ of him?

“Does it look like I hate you?” he asks in a rejected tone.

“You didn’t seem to particularly like me,” the younger retorts coldly.

Instantly, shame floods in Jongin minds as he remembers the incident in the hallways. He had insulted Kyungsoo, made fun of him, pushed him. Back then he was upset because the younger kept glowering at him, and he didn’t understand _why_. But suddenly, Kyungsoo’s words flash in his thoughts.

“ _You’re so fucking stupid,_ ” he had said, when Jongin asked him about the glares. And that’s when he realized. Kyungsoo _knew_. He knew they were soulmates, back then. He fucking knew already.

“It’s okay,” the junior says with yet another sigh, tearing him away from his memories, “When you see me in the hallways or whatever, just...keep walking. We don’t have to interact. You’ll be graduating soon enough and I’ll probably be out of the country soon too. You won’t have to hear about me ever again.”

At that, Jongin’s frown deepens. Why would Kyungsoo suggest something like that, if he _knows_?! He wants to ask, but part of the younger’s speech abruptly clicks in his mind.

“Out of-... What? You’re leaving?!” he wavers, eyes widening once more.

Kyungsoo sighs again, as if it was the only physical response he could manage in Jongin’s presence. It hurts.

“I told you, I only came here ‘cause Yoona couldn’t come back home,” he says, still not looking at the elder and grabbing his backpack from the ground, “As soon as she’ll be healthy, we might go back to Canada. Our whole life is over there.”

“But...we…”

“Just move along and live your life,” Kyungsoo says, tone definite as he grabs the front door handle, “I’ll live mine and everyone will be happy.”

Jongin cannot do anything but stare as Kyungsoo walks out and closes the door behind him. His eyes glued to the wood panel, he wonders what he is supposed to do, wonders if Kyungsoo really meant all he said. He wonders how he is supposed to _ignore_ the boy, when their soul have that irrevocable bond linking them.

He doesn’t think he can do it. He doesn’t _want_ to. But he knows he cannot force the younger to do anything, even though the simple thought of him leaving the country has Jongin’s stomach lurching, heart tightening hard enough to physically hurt.

 

——

 

Soon after he gets to school, Jongin finds out he apparently won’t have to deal with Kris, today.

The elder is nowhere to be seen during the first three periods, and by the time lunch breaks ends, Jongin’s eyes have stopped anxiously looking for him.

As he sits down for his History class, Jongin lets his head fall on the desk with a tired sigh. He just walked by Kyungsoo in the hallway, and the boy had ignored him as if he wasn’t even here. Jongin’s gaze followed him until he disappeared inside a classroom, and Sehun had to snap him out of his trance to prevent them for being late.

“What was that?” his friend asks, taking his seat next to Jongin.

“What was what?” he asks back slowly, eyes closed and nose pressing painfully on the worn-out desk.

“That look you sent to the new kid?”

“He’s been here for two months already, he’s not new anymore,” Jongin answers, dodging the question.

“Not what I asked.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, hoping Sehun would just drop it.

“You’re shit at lying,” Sehun nonchalantly states, earning a glare, “You can maybe fool Kris, I mean dude is dense as fuck. But me?” he scoffs before shaking his head, “Nope. Something’s off. What is it?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Jongin replies, shutting his eyes again.

“You’re gonna have to. I’m not letting it go. You’ve been acting _weird_ lately. Especially when he is around.”

Damn his friend for being so observant.

“You’re annoying,” he sighs once more. Seems like he picked up Kyungsoo’s habit.

“I’m aware,” Sehun scoffs just as their teacher enters the room and requests the class to be silent.

With a quiet groan, Jongin pushes himself up from the desk and briefly glances at Sehun, who is still staring at him with an eyebrow raised.

“Fine,” he sighs, _again_ , “Later.”

“Good.”

Looking satisfied, Sehun turns back to the front and opens his book.

Damn him from being a good friend.

 

“So?” the younger asks, indeed later, as they sit on the side of the school’s small track field while half of the class is doing laps.

They’ve been paired up, and are supposed to time each other and count how many times they round the field, but Jongin hasn’t really been paying attention. He hopes Hyoyeon is counting for herself, because he has no clue if she went around three, ten or fifty times.  
He isn’t even sure he properly started the stopwatch.

“So?” he repeats, eyes looking in the distance.

“I can see something is up,” Sehun says, definitely decided to make him spill the bean, “Is it about the new kid? Or about Kris?”

“...Both, I guess…” he trails, picking at the dirt on his sneakers.

“Yeah, I’m gonna need you to elaborate a little bit.”

“It’s Kyungsoo,” he breathes out, “He’s…”

“Who’s Kyungsoo?”

“The _new kid_ ,” Jongin says, rolling his eyes, “His name is Kyungsoo.”

“Okay, chill. Don’t be like that, how was I supposed to know?”

“He’s been here for _months_.”

“Yeah, but I don’t hang out around juniors,” Sehun points out as if it was evident, “Anyway, Kyungsoo, then. What’s the problem with him?”

“He’s… Ugh, remember the deal?”

“Kris doesn’t really let us forget about it,” the younger snorts, before his eyes suddenly widen, “Wait, was it _you_?”

“Was it me what?”

“You’re the one who beat him up?!”

“What?!”

“Man, I can’t believe you went through with it!” Sehun says, looking both impressed and shocked, “Never thought you’d had the balls!”

That when it clicks in Jongin’s mind. Of course Sehun saw the state of Kyungsoo’s face. The damn concealer didn’t _conceal_ everything. And certainly not his limping.

“No I didn’t!” he shouts, earning a glare from his teacher, which has him fumbling with the stopwatch and accidentally resetting the timer to zero. Shit.

“Oh… Well, _someone_ did, obviously. Is it what it’s about?”

“Yes... And no. It’s just… Ugh.”

“Okay, let’s go back to elaborating, please?”

“I tried.”

“You tried,” Sehun repeats, blinking at him, “You tried to what?”

“...Hurt him?”

“The new- I mean, Kyungsoo?”

“Mmh,” Jongin nods, undoing his lace and re-doing it just for the sake of keeping himself busy while he is interrogated.

He gave up with the stopwatch. Hyoyeon is gonna be pissed, anyway.

“Okay, and then what?”

Sehun needs an award for being the most patient teenager ever, really.

“I couldn’t.”

The loud snort startles Jongin and earns them a short scolding from their PE teacher.

“Yeah I knew you wouldn’t have the nuts to go for it!” Sehun whisper-laughs, pushing his shoulder playfully.

“No, Sehun,” he says, shaking his head, expression growing distressed, “I _tried_. And I _couldn’t_.”

Falling silent, Sehun stares at him, confused. When Jongin still doesn’t say anything, he clicks his tongue.

“Elaborating, Jongin, remember?”

Jongin turns his head and sends him a pointed look.

“I could _not_ hurt him,” he repeats, emphasizing the words even more, this time, and he sees the exact moment the puzzle pieces snap together in Sehun’s widening eyes.

“Oh shit… You mean…”

“Yeah…”

“Fuck…”

“Yeah.”

“But then why- Wait... Then _who_ beat him up?” the younger asks, surprising Jongin when he notices the genuine concern on Sehun’s face.

“I’m sure you can guess,” he answers, jaw tensing.

“Was it… Shit, was it Kris?” Sehun gasps, indignation joining the worry in his expression. Jongin sighs and merely nods, “Man, that’s fucked up…”

“Mmh.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“About what?”

“About Kyungsoo. And Kris. I mean, it’s…”

“I don’t think he wants me to do anything about it,” he exhales, heart tightening yet again when he recalls their last conversation, “Kyungsoo, I mean.”

“What?”

“He showed up at my house, all bloody after…” he trails, not even able to pronounce the name of the responsible for the junior’s pain, “I tried to patch him up. He stayed over for the weekend and...we talked. But he…”

“He what?”

“He said he’s fine with us ignoring each other. Said we don’t have to do anything about us being soulmates, that we can live our lives separately and just...not…”

“Okay but... What are _you_ thinking?” Sehun asks with a concerned frown, “Are you fine with that?”

“I- I don’t know? I mean I’ve never really thought about finding my soulmate since my parents divorced… I wasn’t expecting all this to happen…”

“I know.”

“I don’t wanna go through the same thing…”

“...But?”

Damn Sehun for knowing him too well.

“... _But_...whenever I see him, everything in me is just...screaming at me to go near him. Ever since I first saw him, something was pushing me to look in his direction. And even when I _don’t_ see him. Even _now_. Whether I want it or not, I fucking can’t help it, and it’s…” he says, ending with a groan.

“What about him? Doesn’t he feel the same way?”

“I don’t know. He doesn’t seem affected at all…” Jongin admits sadly.

As much as he had hoped things would change once Kyungsoo would find out about their bond, it turned out he already knew, and still didn’t want anything to do with Jongin.

“...And you don’t like that,” Sehun says, and Jongin doesn’t quite get why the younger is hiding a _smile_ , “You want him to be affected.”

“He’s my soulmate! Of course I want him to want me too!” he snaps, offended and looking at Sehun, who just laughs and pats his upper arm.

“Well there you go, you have your answer. You’re _not_ fine with you guys ignoring each other.”

Dramatically throwing his head back with a grown, Jongin almost loses his balance, thankful to Sehun for catching him before he topples in the grass. He’s still annoyed, though.

Damn him for making sense.

“But...Jongin,” his friends hesitates, “What about Kris?”

Instinctively, Jongin’s hands clench into fists as he grits his teeth. Before he can answer, however, the teacher sends the second half of the class on the field, and he winces when he sees Hyoyeon jogging towards him with an expectant face.

He hates running, but maybe it’ll give him time to figure out what he is going to do about Kris, indeed. He might have to sprint anyway, seeing how Hyoyeon looks ready to chase him.

 

——

 

The rest of the week passes slowly, and Jongin has to hold back more than he ever did in his life, every time he sees Kyungsoo in the hallways. The boy has been very diligent in ignoring his existence. Not even a single glance was thrown his way. It’s like Jongin doesn’t even exist, and it hurts like hell each time Sehun sends him a sympathetic look.

It feels so _wrong_. He shouldn’t have to hold back. He shouldn’t be mentally begging for Kyungsoo to acknowledge him, to just fucking _look at him_ , if only for a second.

But by the time Friday rolls around, the boy is still acting as if Jongin is invisible, and after passing by him in the schoolyard and getting painstakingly ignored once more, Jongin drops on his chair with an exhausted sigh.

It takes him a good minute before he notices the person sitting on his left, and his entire body tenses in a heartbeat, not having seen him since last Friday.

Trying his best not to judge and slam the boy’s face on the desk, he carefully glanced to the side, frowning when he sees the large nose cast on Kris’s face. It’s huge, unmissable, but it still doesn’t cover the healing bruises under the elder’s eyes.

“ _Hey, I got to throw a few punches too_.” That’s what Kyungsoo had say in a sleepy voice. It seems like he wasn’t lying.

On his other side, Sehun slowly sits at his own desk and Jongin sees him eye Kris before turning to look at him. He looks worried. Either because of Kris’ injury, or because he thinks Jongin is gonna pound on the elder and slaughter him right here and now. Jongin doesn’t ask which reason it is. He doesn’t want to force Sehun to choose a side. It wouldn’t be fair.

But Sehun seems to decide for him. Right as the teacher starts talking, a small piece of folded paper lands on his notebook. When he opens it, his younger friend’s messy handwriting tells him not to do anything and act normally until they decide how to deal with what Kris did.

Making sure the teacher isn’t looking at them, he subtly nods and stuffs the note in his blazer pocket. Kyungsoo said he didn’t want Jongin to do anything, so he will comply. At least for now.

It turns out to be quite an easy task. Kris doesn’t speak much during the whole morning, and when Sehun casually asks what happened, for the sake of not looking too suspicious, he only curtly answers he got a nonsurgical procedure apparently called a closed reduction, where the doctor had to manually realign the bones and cartilage in his nose. He however doesn’t explain how his nose got fucked up, switching topic immediately after.

Not that he needs to, Jongin and Sehun know already.

What is a lot less easy, though, is to control himself when Kris suddenly calls Kyungsoo as they pass by him in the hallway.

The younger stops walking and throws a bored look toward Kris, before starting to walk away. For a second, Jongin’s heart clenches, because Kyungsoo still hasn’t _looked at him_ , even if he is _right there_ , next to Kris. But then, the elder grabs the junior’s arm and Jongin panics.

“What happened to your face?” Kris snorts, and Sehun instantly curls his hand around Jongin’s wrist, shaking his head.

“What happened to _yours_?” Kyungsoo replies, raising an eyebrow.

“You fucker, I’m gonna-”

“We should go to class,” Jongin blurts out a little too vehemently, “We’re gonna be late, come on.”

He pats Kris on the shoulder, pushing him lightly to the side so he starts walking.

His heart misses a beat when Kyungsoo’s eyes glance in his direction. He doesn’t look at his face, more like vaguely around where his hand rest on Kris’ shoulder, but it’s still more than what he got this whole week.

It’s still not enough to break the permanent tension in his guts, but it’s _something_ , at least. At this point, he’ll take anything, even a glare.

 

\------------------------------------------------------

 

It’s been a week since Kris came back to school, and Kyungsoo has done his best not to cross his path in the hallways, the cafeteria or the schoolyard. Sooyoung keeps asking him why he looks around him so frequently, or decides to take the long route towards certain classes. Kyungsoo thinks she kinda figured out it had something to do with the healing wounds on his face, which is probably why she’s been so curious.

He is also pretty sure his moms didn’t believe him when he said he fell on the sidewalk as he was running after a bus. And although it’s still partly true, he knows his face looks too messed up to be justified by a simple fall.  
He brushed it off, trying a joke and saying the concrete had just wanted a hug from him, and they ended up dropping the topic. Yoona cried, though, when she saw him, and he had to agree to play with dolls with her to stop the tears from falling on her chubby cheeks.

He doesn’t want a repeat, so he decided that avoiding Kris would give him less chance to upsetting the boy.

Or that’s what he tells himself whenever the little voice in his head starts giving its two cents.

But really, he avoids Kris mostly because Jongin is with him. And he _needs_ to avoid Jongin. Because if he doesn’t, he might very well end up doing something extremely stupid.

Like punching him, because the boy keeps staring at him as if Kyungsoo was breaking his heart. Which is ridiculous. Kyungsoo can’t break something he never asked to own to begin with.

But punching Jongin would mean hurting himself, and his bruises are progressively fading, the pain in his back _finally_ subsiding. Starting a fight is not the best idea.  
Not that Jongin might hit him back. But Kris comes along with the boy, and it’s already been established: Kris hates Kyungsoo’s guts. He would not hesitate to finish what he started two weeks ago.

So Kyungsoo stays out of their way. It’s the first day of December and the school-year ends late February. That gives him roughly three months before the seniors graduate. After that, chances are he and his family will leave Korea soon enough, anyway.

He can do this. He will.

He just needs to stay out of the way.

Yoona needs him. She cannot afford him to get distracted. Not even by boys staring at him and looking like kicked puppies, making him want to throw his fist in their face. Or smash their lips together. Not necessarily in this order.

But it seems like kicked puppies are quite persistent.

At least if Jongin sitting at the bus stop, clearly waiting for him, is any clue.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, instantly cursing himself for ruining his avoiding plan when he sees Jongin beaming at him.

Is the elder really _that_ happy to be addressed by Kyungsoo? He didn’t even ask nicely…

“Waiting for the bus,” Jongin replies, sliding on the bench to make some space so Kyungsoo can sit too.

Kyungsoo keeps standing, and Jongin goes back to looking like a kid being told Christmas has been cancelled this year. He isn’t sure the elder is even conscious of how dramatically inconsolable he looks, every time he glances at Kyungsoo. The negative temperatures have rendered his nose all red, and the way it sits on top of the scarf rolled around his neck is making him look even more like a child.

But Kyungsoo cannot let himself feel guilty.

Yoona is waiting for him. He just needs the damn bus to show up already, so he can stop wanting to _look at_ Jongin.

If someone could join them at the stop, that would make things easier, too.

But clearly, Life isn’t on his side, and he has to spend the next five minutes in the most awkward and tense silence ever, forcing his eyes too remain on the road, while he can feel Jongin’s gaze on him.

Checking the schedule on his phone, he finds out he only has to wait for ten more minutes before the bus arrives. With a little luck, Jongin will give up and leave before.

Or not.

“It’s really exhausting, you know,” Jongin sighs, making Kyungsoo twitch in surprise.

He didn’t think Jongin would actually try to talk to him.

Nine more minutes. He can do this.

“What is?” he hears himself say in a low voice, before cursing himself once more.

He isn’t even surprised, though. His mouth seems to run free whenever he is in Jongin’s presence. It’s annoying.

“Pretending that I am not attracted to you,” Jongin answers nonchalantly, and Kyungsoo blanks.

 _That_ , he didn’t expect.

“It’s just the stupid soulmate bond speaking,” he quickly replies, still not glancing at the elder.

He doesn’t want to see how hurt Jongin is because of his words.

“Yeah, maybe. The fact still stands, though.”

“You’ll get over it.”

He has to.

“Aren’t you-...” Jongin starts, sounding a bit hesitant now, “I mean… You don’t seem...affected at all… Why?”

Can he really tell Jongin the truth? The senior is wrong. Kyungsoo _is_ affected.

So much that he has to make a conscious effort not to look at Jongin whenever they cross path in the school. He has to clench his fists, to prevent his hands from reaching out, keeps having to grit his teeth and fight with all his will not to march up to him and kiss him. Walking away from Jongin is one of the hardest things he ever had to do, when everything in him is relentlessly screaming to stop fighting and swallow away the elder’s sad pout with his own lips.  
  
Even when he doesn’t see him. His treacherous mind keeps flashing images of Jongin. Memories, from all the times he saw his broken-hearted expression at school. Made up pictures, where Jongin is staring at him, sometimes smiling, often hurting, and Kyungsoo has to rub his eyes until black spots fill his vision and erase his soulmate’s dejected face.  
It never takes away the pain clamping his chest, nor does it put out the rampant fire simmering inside his veins.  
  
He wants it to stop. He hates it, hates himself, because he _knows_ he is hurting Jongin.  
He despises having to lie to everyone, and trying to convince himself he doesn’t care.  
  
He _does_ care. And he _is_ affected.

But he cannot allow himself to be. He also cannot tell that to Jongin. The boy might try to change his mind, and Kyungsoo is scared he might get lost in those puppy eyes and blurt out promises he won’t be able to keep.

So he sighs, something he has done a lot whenever he is with the elder.

“Look, Jongin,” he says, finally turning around to look at him, because the senior deserves at least some sort of eye contact, right now, “You’re nice and all. I don’t think you’re as bad as the rumors say,” he adds, watching Jongin’s eyebrows fly up then furrow.

Apparently, he isn’t aware people are talking about how he and his two friends are absolute jerks. But now is not the time to fill him in with the gossips.

“Look, honestly? I just don’t have _time_ for that,” he admits, because at least this is true, “We moved here for my sister, so I can help her be healthy. Be _alive_. This is what’s important. I can’t waste my energy on stupid stuff,” he finishes, biting his tongue when he sees the pain in Jongin’s eyes.

Maybe looking at him wasn’t such a great idea, after all.

“...Stupid?”

“I’m not talking about you as a person,” he says, trying to salvage what he can as he averts his eyes. He doesn’t really want Jongin to hurt. “Just… Let’s not go there, okay? Ignoring each other works well and-”

“No, it doesn’t.”

Stubborn puppy.

“You’re just-”

“It doesn’t work well,” Jongin repeats, locking their eyes, “I don’t like ignoring you. I don’t _want_ to ignore you. And I don’t care if it’s that _stupid_ soulmate bond,” he says, using Kyungsoo’s own words, “I can’t help it! And it hurts to see you being so detached about that. It hurts to have you pushing me away…”

“...Listen, I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo merely answers, because as much as it hurts too, to see Jongin like that, he cannot let himself feel anything.

“Then why do you keep doing that?!” Jongin asks, standing from the bench and facing him.

“I told you… I can’t waste my time on-”

“Stupid stuff, yeah, I got it,” Jongin interrupts him again, eyes looking away and voice turning sour before he scoffs, his expression hardening, “You know what? Forget it. Forget I even said anything. I just…”

A second later, Jongin sighs, shaking his head, and starts walking back towards the school, brushing past him.

“Jongin, wait!” Kyungsoo blurts out, grabbing his elbow.

He doesn’t like the sudden panic that floods his entire body, but he cannot let Jongin leave like that. Not when he looks that upset. Not when it’s making his stomach sink and his heart burn.

“No, you’re right,” the elder says, yanking his arm out of Kyungsoo’s hand, “You came here for a reason, and I don’t wanna be a _stupid_ distraction from something more _important_ ,” he adds, again using Kyungsoo’s words against him, “So just forget about it. I won’t get in your way anymore.”

“Jongin!”

The call is useless, though, and the boy keeps walking away in the cold ending afternoon.

Kyungsoo is freezing, down to his bones. But as he watches Jongin’s figure disappear, he doesn’t think it has much to do with the wintry weather.

 

\------------------------------------------------------

 

“Dad…. Did you ever wish you never met her?”

Leaning back against the kitchen counter near the sink, Jongin is trying to enjoy the chance of spending time with his dad on a Sunday night. It happens rarely enough, lately, for the man to celebrate that by cooking dinner.

“Never met who?” his father distractedly asks, tasting the chili sauce he has been focusing on for a while now.

“...My mother,” Jongin hesitates, a bit scared it might hurt his dad to bring back those memories.

But surprisingly, the man turns to look at him with a smile that makes him think of his own grin, a lot. This is one of the few things he inherited from his father. Apparently, he mostly, and unfortunately, looks a lot like his mother.

“Of course not!”

“But she hurt you…”

“She did... But Nini, if I had never met her, you wouldn’t be here,” his dad says, as if it was just common sense and Jongin shouldn’t even _think_ of doubting those words, “And you’re something I could never, _ever_ regret,” he adds before chuckling and shaking his head, “I don’t think I can even remember what life was like before having you!”

“Probably less trouble and worry,” Jongin provides with a little smile.

“Oh definitely less worry! But I still wouldn’t exchange you for the world,” the man asserts, and Jongin’s smile widens, “Unless maybe if someone offered me a Lamborghini,” his dad adds, looking like he is actually _considering it_.

Pretending to be offended, Jongin pulls the most scandalized expression he can muster.

“You would trade your son for a _car_?!”

“Not any car. A _Lamborghini_!”

“Wow, I feel so loved right now,” Jongin claims,  playfully whacking his dad’s back with a kitchen towel and earning a big laugh in return.

“Why did you ask?” his dad inquires, face turning concerned when his son looks at the ground, “Jongin? What’s wrong?” he presses, turning the stove off and coming to stand in front of him.

And really, Jongin wouldn’t have talked about all this, not wanting to worry his dad. But he is lost, and hurt, and Sehun didn’t help at all when he called him and recounted the last conversation he had with Kyungsoo. Apart from offering sympathy, since, just like Jongin, he had no idea how to fix the mess.

His father seems like the best option, at this point.

“I… I met him,” he mumbles, eyes glued to the ground.

“Him?”

“Him,” he confirms with a nod, hoping his dad will understand.

“Who are you-...” the man starts, before probably linking the clues in the whole discussion, “Oh my goodness… Nini, did you meet your soulmate?” he gasps.

“Yeah…”

“How? When?”

“It’s a long story… He transferred in our school a couple months ago.”

“That’s wonderful!” he dads exclaims happily, and Jongin sighs.

“No, not really...”

“...Is it because of what happened between your mom and I?” his father then asks prudently, bending a little to look at Jongin’s eyes, still riveted down on the floor.

“No,” Jongin admits after thinking about it for a few seconds, “I mean, it was, before. But then it just… It’s a mess.”

“Why is that?”

“He doesn’t want to have anything to do with me,” the teenager frowns sadly.

“What? Why?”

“He said he doesn’t have _time_ for this. That he has more important thing to take care of.”

If his dad sounded surprised a second before, he downright sounds utterly scandalized, now.

“What could be more important than this?!!” he blurts, and Jongin’s eyes fly up to see how offended his dad looks on his behalf, “Who is this kid? Tell me, so I can go and knock some sense into his brain!”

“Well...you know him, actually,” Jongin chuckles dejectedly at the irony of the situation.

“I do?”

“His sister is one of your patient… Do Yoona?”

He can see the gear working in his father’s head, see the light flicking on in his eyes when he realizes.

“You... _Kyungsoo_ is your soulmate?!”

When Jongin nods, his dad’s expression turns conflicted as he slowly processes why everything is so tricky.

“Oh…” he breathes, eyebrows knitted together.

“Now you understand _what_ is more important…”

Just like Sehun, the sympathizing look on his face is proof Jongin is screwed.

“I’m sorry Nini Bear,” he says, gently ruffling his son’s hair.

“It’s okay… There’s nothing I can do, really. I can’t force him…”

“Do you want me to-”

“No!!!” Jongin shouts, startling his dad, “No. It’s just… I mean… I _do_ understand why he is acting like that. I really do!” he insists, distressed, “But I can’t help but be upset about it! And it makes me feel like I’m such a shitty person!”

“Of course you’re not! It’s normal to feel rejected, Nini… He is in a delicate situation, and it affects you indirectly. But I’m sure he feels bad about it.”

“He doesn’t look like it,” Jongin answers, shaking his head despite his dad trying to reassure him.

“I don’t know him that well, but from what I’ve gathered...he is a good kid,” his father says, squeezing the teenager’s shoulder, “A good son. And a good brother. I don’t know how much he told you about the situation, but what he is doing for his sister…” the man says, looking legitimately impressed, “Not every seventeen-year-old kid would do the same. Heck, even _adults_ wouldn’t!”

“I know... “ Jongin nods, “I know it’s important! I just… He said they would leave, dad… He said they would leave the country and that we should just live our lives separately!” Jongin exclaims, feeling his heart squeeze uncomfortably, “And I don’t even have a word in this! He’s deciding on his own and I’m just supposed to comply! That’s not fair!”

“You’re right, it’s not,” his dad says, trying to calm him down after his outburst, “But he is probably too preoccupied by what is happening to his sister, to think clearly about the situation,” he adds, “However, that doesn’t erase the bond between you. I’m sure he knows that, even if he tries to fight it.”

“What am I supposed to do, then?” Jongin sighs, indignation replaced by resignation.

“Support him,” his dad advices, “Even if it’s indirectly, show him you’re here if he needs you. But also make sure he knows you won’t give up.”

That indeed sounds like a reasonable plan. Confronting Kyungsoo didn’t work, so maybe Jongin needs to be subtle.

Nodding slowly, he watches his father gently smile at him, before his eyes narrow, accentuating his crow’s-feet wrinkles.

“Dad?”

“Was it you? The one who helped him?”

“Helped him?”

“I saw him at the hospital this week. He looked like he had been beaten up, and when I asked, he said a _friend_ had taken care of him…”

Jongin’s heart leaps at the word ‘friend’. He knows this is not how Kyungsoo considers him, but hearing it still makes a spark of hope flare in his guts.

“I...uhm…”

“It was you,” his dad then says, and it is clearly not a question anymore, “The bloodied gauze I found in the bathroom trash bin… You brought him here and took care of him, didn’t you?”

“Not exactly…” Jongin says, scratching his neck, “He kinda...showed up at the front door,” he shrugs, “He didn’t want to go home, didn’t want his moms to worry, so he just...came here.”

The grin is back on his dad’s lips, less pitying, more knowing.

“So, he isn’t rejecting you completely.”

“He didn’t have anywhere else to go,” Jongin quickly denies, not wanting to let himself hope too much.

“Nini, if he really didn’t want to have anything to do with you, he would have gone to someone else,” his dad affirms, sounding so sure of what he says that Jongin wants to believe him, “He would have found somewhere else to go, one way or another. He already knew you were his soulmate at that moment, right?”

“Yeah… He found out way before I did…”

“See? And he still came to you.”

“I wasn’t his first pick, though…” Jongin sighs, remembering Kyungsoo had mentioned Joy, that night.

“Does it matter? He still came to you, and you were the one taking care of him.”

Memories of his own hands tending to the wounds on Kyungsoo’s face flash in his mind, and Jongin frowns, suddenly remembering something.

“Dad… When I was...helping him, something was weird.”

“Weird?”

“I cleaned the scratches on his face, but I didn’t...feel anything?” he says, still confused about it, “No pain, I mean. But I could see _him_ wince,” he adds, recalling how the younger was trying to hold back from making any sound, “How is it possible, when I was the one hurting him?”

“Maybe your bodies, or rather your _bond_ , realized you weren’t trying to hurt him. That you wanted to _ease_ his pain.”

“But that doesn’t make sense!” Jongin protests, shaking his head, “Why didn’t it give me the pain instead, then? I would’ve taken it if it meant he wasn’t feeling it!” he frantically bursts, earning a low chuckle from his father.

“Soulmates’ bonds don’t exactly make sense to begin with, you know that.”

“Well it sucks,” Jongin states in a sulky tone, making his father laugh again.

“I’ll try to talk to the mutant gene’s leader to see what he can do,” his dad teases him, “Now go set the table, dinner is almost ready.”

With a lighter heart, Jongin complies without a word.

He is filling the water jug when he glances at his father who just turned the stove off.

He already confessed so much, he might as well go all the way. Even if Kris were still on board to help him, Jongin wouldn’t accept, anyway.

“Dad…”

“Mmh?”

“I’m kinda...failing chemistry…” he says, bracing himself for the disappointed look he is about to receive.

“I know.”

“What? How?” he gasps, eyes widening when his father _laughs_.

“Your teacher’s son was one of my patients. I saw him recently for a follow up of his surgery,” the man calmly explains without even looking at him, “I casually asked how you were doing, but I wasn’t expecting the answer.”

“Why do you know so many people?” the teenager groans, scrunching his face.

“You should be glad!” his dad replies, sounding weirdly playful, “She agreed on giving you a chance to get extra points.”

“She did?!” Jongin exclaims, shock almost making him drop the full jug.

“Yes. So, study properly, alright?” his father says, and instantly, Jongin earnestly nods, still unbelieving, “And since you lied to me,” he dad adds, with a smug grin, “You can say farewell to this month’s allowance money.”

“What?!! But Christmas is in three weeks!!” he blurts out, looking at his dad as if he was insane.

“You should’ve thought about that before,” the man fucking _singsongs_ before making his way towards the living room, leaving a pouting Jongin behind.

Well, he deserved it, right?

“Then I guess you can say farewell to the present I was gonna get you,” he playfully retorts with a shrug, just for the sake of having the last word.

 

——

 

On Tuesday morning, his chemistry teacher asks to talk to him after class, and indeed gives him the opportunity to add points to his semester grade, in the form of a detailed report with experiments supporting his notes, that he will have to hand after Winter break.

She even allows him to get help from Sehun when he asks, so he goes back to his desk way more confident than he has been these last few months. He can do it. He has to.

By the time lunch rolls around, and right after nailing the impromptu English test their teacher decided to throw at them, his determination is skyrocketing. He doesn’t even care that Sehun keeps rolling his eyes when he notices the pep in Jongin’s steps.

But his good mood cannot last for long, it seems, and it gets dampened the second he sees Kyungsoo making his way towards the cafeteria too. There is slight stiffness in his gate, and Jongin’s heart tightens, assuming the younger’s back might still be hurting.

When Kyungsoo melds into the crowd of students, Jongin’s shoulders fall, as if his previous energy had dissolved at the same time he lost sight of the younger. He is not even that hungry anymore.

“Watch him walk funny!” Kris suddenly says with a cocky laugh, jutting his chin towards where Kyungsoo just disappeared.

Those words spark a flame of anger inside Jongin’s guts, but he wills himself to remain calm when he spots one of his teachers walking down the hallway. As much as he wants to throw a punch straight in Kris’ jaw right now, it would not serve him right to end up in the principal’s office.

“Do you know what happened to him?” Sehun carefully asks, leaving Jongin confused because wasn’t he the one who said they shouldn’t bring the topic up for now?

What is he trying to achieve, exactly?

“He got what he deserved,” Kris simply states with a smug look, and Jongin has to use all his willpower not to jump at him, fists clenched so tight his short nails are almost piercing the skin of his palms, “He can still walk, though. Guess I’ll have to finish the work later!”

At the last sentence, Jongin finally snaps. He grabs Kris’ wrist and yanks him inside an empty classroom, swiftly closing the door behind him, before turning around and glowering at his _friend_.

“What the fuck?”

“Why don’t you try fighting someone your size?” Jongin spits, his entire body vibrating.

“Like who? You?” Kris snorts, nonchalantly crossing his arms.

The deal was _off_!”

“Indeed. I said you didn’t have to beat him up. But I never said _I_ wouldn’t,” Kris shrugs with a smirk, “What’s wrong with you lately?” he adds, sounding amused despite having noticed Jongin’s threatening glare.

“Just stay the hell away from him.”

“Why are you defending him?”

“That’s not of your business,” Jongin counters, more and more on edge at the overconfident and taunting look on Kris’ face.

“What, did you fuck him?” the elder scoffs, as if the simple thought was the most absurd thing he had ever heard.

“You shut up, Kris. I’m warning you.”

“Was he a good fuck?” Kris sneers, eyebrow raised in a provoking way, “Did you enjoy banging his sweet little ass?”

Unfortunately for Kris’ face, this is the last straw that shatters Jongin’s self-control, and the next second, the younger’s fist is colliding with Kris’s cheekbone in a mat thud.

“I said _shut up_!!!” he yells, shaking in rage as Kris looks at him like he had lost his mind.

“The fuck is wrong with you?!!”

“He’s my fucking soulmate, you asshole!!!” Jongin shouts as loud as he can, because he needs to let the anger break out, one way or another, “So you stay the hell away from him, am I clear?!!”

In a heartbeat, Kris’ expression turns absolutely shocked, eyes wide open and unblinking as he stares at Jongin.

“Wh- What?” he stammers, visibly trying to make sense of the whole situation.

But Jongin has no will to explain. He just needs to make his point and get the hell out of here before he start throwing more hits to make the elder get a taste of what he did to Kyungsoo.

“You don’t go near him,” he says in a strained voice, enraged eyes locked into Kris’ bewildered ones, “You don’t look at him. You don’t even _think_ about him. Or I swear to god I’ll end you,” he finishes, in a low threatening tone.

And without waiting for the taller to answer, Jongin turns on his heels and exits the room, bypassing Sehun who only offers him a sympathetic smile, having obviously heard the whole thing.

He definitely lost his appetite now.


	5. Chapter 5

“No but seriously, I’m the fucking boss! You should bow in front of me!”

Jongin averts his eyes from the window, through which he was staring at the thick blanket of clouds to try to calm himself, and turns to look at Sehun.

The younger already called him the night before, right after the CSAT results were released online and bragged about his ninety-eight percent for about half an hour, as Jongin’s eyes stayed fixed on the miraculous seventy-nine percent he somehow managed to score. And this morning, he has waved the printed page of his results in front of him, enough times for Jongin to stop counting.

Usually, Jongin would have played along and congratulate his friend, adding a witty comment just for the sake of not letting Sehun’s ego get too oversized.

But at that moment, he only feels restless. It’s been three days since he last talk to Kris, in that empty classroom, and if he thought he was on edge before, it’s nothing compared to how agitated he is now.

For the umpteenth time, he glances at the elder, who silently sits at his desk, eyes boring into his textbook. He doesn’t even look like he is reading, only staring past the page, seemingly lost in his thoughts.  
This is not Kris. He never acts like that, never keeps to himself, never stays silent. And it makes Jongin awfully nervous, not to know what is going on in his mind.

That, and the fact that Kyungsoo has been ignoring him even _more_. Jongin didn’t even think it was possible, until he noticed he hadn’t even _seen_ the junior anywhere in the school. He had panicked a little, and Sehun had tried to calm him down, assuring him Kyungsoo was fine, telling him he had caught a glimpse of him a few times, when Jongin wasn’t with him.

It had had the opposite effect on Jongin, exacerbating the feeling of distress stiffening his body.

He hates it. He feels like he is stuck in this weird in-between state, where all he can do is wait, without even knowing _what_ he is waiting for.

But then, every time that thought runs through his mind, he also remembers telling Kyungsoo he wouldn’t get in his way anymore.

Kyungsoo was right. Jongin is fucking stupid.

The hours snail by and a rampant tension is clogging his mind, guts tightening and muscles cramping, as irritation slowly creeps its way inside his veins.

Against Kris, against Kyungsoo.

Against himself.

This is not how things should be. He promised himself he wouldn’t pressure Kyungsoo anymore, but it keeps getting harder and harder to stay away. It feels so, _so_ wrong. How can he even miss the younger so much, when they are not even that close? He is fucking _craving_ the boy’s presence next to him, blood boiling every time he recalls the last words they exchanged.

Kyungsoo considers him like a waste of time and the simple thought has him hurting more than he ever did. Even more than when his twelve-year-old self had to watch his mother leave their family house, heavy suitcases in hands, without even a word for him.

“Jongin?” Sehun calls, forcing him to snap out of his memories.

“Mmh?”

“I asked if you wanted to come over after class,” the younger says, eyebrows lightly knitted, “It’s Friday, so… We could finally try the last Call of Duty together?” Sehun adds with a nonchalant shrug.

Jongin doesn’t want to go.

He used to love playing video games with both his friends. Now the idea doesn’t even sound exciting anymore. But he feels so close to exploding that maybe shooting some pixelated characters would end up being benefic.

“Yeah, okay,” he sighs, forcing his body to relax when he sees Kris briefly glancing at him.

It only lasts a second, but Jongin is now left with confusion piling up on top of the anxiety and anger. What the fuck was that?

He however does not get to ponder over the enigmatic apprehension in Kris’ eyes when their History teacher comes into the room.

He does his best to immerse himself in today’s topic, but his mind ends up replaying Kyungsoo’s and his last conversation in a loop, and by the end of the hour, he has absolutely no idea what points they’ve covered in the lesson. He just hopes Sehun has been diligently taking notes, as he always does.

At this point, his only silver lining is knowing he will see Kyungsoo soon, during their self-study period, and he ends up half-dragging an amused Sehun behind him in the hallways, right after the bell rings the end of the previous class.

“Okay, slow down,” the younger snorts, “He’s gonna be there, no need to rush like that,” he says, knowing exactly why Jongin is so hasty.

Ignoring his friend’s teasing tone, Jongin speeds up his pace, until they’re both seated at their usual table. He sees Kris going to sit somewhere else, but decide to ignore it. He still isn’t sure he won’t punch him again if the elder tries talking to him.

For the sake of at least looking like he intends on getting some work done, he quickly pulls out a few textbooks from his backpack and lays them open on the table.

His head is down, but his eyes are riveted on the door, guts buzzing as he waits.

Sehun chuckles next to him, shaking his head as he opens both notebook and pencil case. Jongin swiftly reaches out and grabs a random ballpoint pen, letting the lead hover above his own book, gaze still focused on the doorway.

“You’re ridiculous,” Sehun laughs, and although Jongin would usually humor him, the sudden sight of Kyungsoo’s figure entering the room makes him forget Sehun is even here.

He wills his hands to stop trembling and he watches his soulmate cross the room and sit at the farthest table, back facing him.

Jongin doesn’t know what he expected. But the realization that Kyungsoo decided to settle down as far as he could from _him_ , without even as much as glancing in his direction suddenly makes his eyes burn. In hurt or anger, he cannot say, but Sehun must notice, because a hand lands on Jongin’s forearm. That’s when he realizes how hard his fingers are clasped around his pen, teeth greeted and jaw tense.

“Come on, let’s work on your Chemistry report,” his friends calmly says, eyeing Kyungsoo for a second before looking back at Jongin, worry carving a light crease between his brows.

Jongin slowly exhales, forcing his body to relax again and blinking to get his vision less blurry before he nods.

They don’t get much work done, though, because no matter how much he tries to focus, his eyes keep sliding to the other side of the room, where Kyungsoo stays bent over his own textbooks, pencil gliding on a paper as he takes some notes.

As the minutes pass, Jongin’s breathing turns heavier, frustration clogging his throat and twisting his insides. He can feel how Sehun keeps trying to calm him down, but he remains deaf to his friend’s attempts, getting more and more antagonized the longer he stares at Kyungsoo’s back.

The last straw comes in the form of the junior standing as soon as the bell rings and exiting the room at a quick pace, yet again with no sign he even noticed Jongin is _right there_.

In a heartbeat, Jongin is standing too, startling Sehun when the chair falls backward.

“This is bullshit,” he snarls, and before his friend has the time to say anything, Jongin is already at the door, spotting Kyungsoo as the boy walks away.

This is _not_ how things are supposed to be. And he cannot handle this any longer.

In a few rapid steps, Jongin catches up with the younger and abruptly grabs his wrist, pain striking on his own skin, before yanking him in the nearest bathroom, thankfully empty.

If Kyungsoo is surprised, he doesn’t show any of it, and simply crosses his arms once Jongin releases him, eyes locked on the wall.

“What do you want?” he asks, sounding both annoyed and fucking _bored_.

Teeth clenched and heart racing, Jongin stares at him, fuming internally.

There is so much he wants to say, so much he wants to ask.

But frustration is making his mind both go blank and whirl way too fast. Enough for him to act on an impulse and grab Kyungsoo’s shoulders, shaking the younger as his eyes start burning again.

“Fucking _look at me_!” he explodes, fingers digging into Kyungsoo’s skin enough for Jongin to feel it on his own shoulders.

This time, surprise does paint lines on Kyungsoo’s forehead, eyes wide open _finally_ turning towards Jongin.

The senior thought he would feel relief, to have those round eyes on him after craving it for so long. But somehow, it only seems to aggravate his state, and anger flares up in his guts more and more every fleeting seconds.

“Why?!!” he shouts, not even caring if people can hear him from the hallway.

It’s like he can’t think rationally. Everything is too much. He doesn’t even know what he wants, or what he is asking. His nerves have been an even bigger mess since he talked to Kris, and now he just feels like he is about to burst into flames.

“Say something!!!” he then yells, anger burning in his veins as tears gather in his eyes.

Dry lips tight, as if he was refraining himself to speak, Kyungsoo remains silent and still, intense gaze boring into Jongin’s under thick eyebrows, pushing him even nearer to the edge.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Jongin knows he shouldn’t be acting like that, but the second Kyungsoo’s eyes fly once more away from his own, he tips over the precipice. And without thinking, Jongin surges forward and crashes their lips together.

It feels right, somehow, as if he can finally breathe freely through the sparks of electricity floating in the air surrounding them.

But it feels so _wrong_ at the same time. And it is. Because about two seconds later, Kyungsoo’s hands are violently pushing him away, hard enough to make him take a step back.

When Jongin looks up, guilt instantly drenches him. But it only lasts for a heartbeat, and anger takes back over, setting him ablaze when he sees Kyungsoo’s impassive face.

“Don’t fucking tell me you don’t feel it!” he provokes in a loud voice, fingernails sinking in his palms.

Once again, Kyungsoo keeps silent, but there is now a fire growing in his eyes as he glares at Jongin.

He knows he deserves it. He shouldn’t have kissed Kyungsoo like that. But his heart is dashing and his body don’t feel like his own anymore.

He just need Kyungsoo to fucking _do_ something.

Even a punch, Jongin would be happy with that. Anything is better than being ignored.

How can Kyungsoo look like he doesn’t mind if he never sees Jongin ever again, when Jongin has been a nerve-wracked mess for weeks?

“Go ahead!!!” he screams, throat burning as more tears of anger threaten to fall, “Look at me, right in the eyes! And tell me you don’t!”

He can see Kyungsoo jaw clenching again and again, hands clamping tightly enough for his knuckles to turn white. His breathing is heavier than it was before the kiss and Jongin would almost feel happy to fucking finally see some emotions piercing through his well-reinforced walls.

But Kyungsoo still doesn’t utter a word, and in Jongin’s mind, it feels like he is taunting him.

“Come on!!!” he shouts again, taking a step forward and invading Kyungsoo’s personal space again, body vibrating with rage when the younger doesn’t move and keeps glowering at him as their breaths mingle.

The sparks of electricity are back, buzzing in anticipation around them, waiting to ignite and combust everything.

“Tell me you feel nothing!! Tell me again we can just go and ignore each other and live our lives as if _this_ was nothing!” he keeps screaming, not even sure he makes much sense at this point, but he is lost in Kyungsoo’s fiery glare and nothing else exists, “Say it! Fucking say it! Say you don’t fee-”

His voice cracks, but none of them notice. Because at the same moment, chapped lips slam on his mouth and a fist clasps the collar of his shirt to keep him from moving away.

But it’s useless, really, because Jongin only wants to push forward.

Contrasting with his usual composed demeanor, Kyungsoo’s kiss tastes like fire. It scorches Jongin’s entire being with every swipe of his tongue inside the elder’s mouth. He pushes him back until Jongin’s back hits one of the stalls door, and the senior revels in the sound of the groan escaping from Kyungsoo’s busy mouth, the collision probably sending a flash of pain in his own shoulder blades.

He however doesn’t seem to mind, pressing even closer, free hand now curling around Jongin’s nape in a tight grip.

At some point, Jongin’s fingers started digging into the younger’s hips, forcefully pulling their bodies together as the kiss turns ferocious.

Everything is flame, all around, and deep inside, burning his soul and licking his skin in a delicious torture, sizzling on the path a treacherous tear takes, down his cheek.

Everything is Kyungsoo, all around, and deep inside, blazing in his blood, searing in his heart, turning him into incandescent ashes.

But then, everything is over.

Kyungsoo detaches himself and takes a step back, out of reach, leaving them both panting as they stare at each other.

Jongin is suddenly cold, and he wants to follow, already missing the contact. But his legs feel weak, and he is scared his knees will buckle under his weight if he tries to move. So he doesn’t, and only looks back at the younger, still loudly breathing.

Kyungsoo gaze is penetrating, the remnants of a wildfire still glowing in his dark eyes.

“I do,” the younger simply says between laborious breaths, confusing Jongin whose mind is still trying to reconnect with reality.

“Wha-”

“I’m sorry.”

And with those words, Kyungsoo turns on his heels and exits the bathroom.

Jongin’s eyes follow him until the door closes, heartbeat still too fast and mind completely numb as it replays Kyungsoo’s enigmatic apology.

Slowly, he lets himself slide against the wall, wobbly legs barely holding him up anymore, until he is seated on the cold tiled floor, violent contrast with the heat he was surrounded with just a few moments ago. All traces of white-hot anger have vanished, leaving him in a daze, skin dully buzzing and heart confused.

What was Kyungsoo sorry about? He admitted he did feel something for Jongin too, right? So what was he apologizing for?

Ignoring him? Brushing Jongin off when he tried to get closer?

Kissing him?

Jongin can still feel his lips tingle, as if they were covered in dying embers. It felt right. _Really_ right, this time. And as his body combusted, he felt like he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

But Kyungsoo had stepped away. And apologized.

Did he regret kissing him?

“Jongin?”

Head whipping to the side as a burst of hope flares in his chest, Jongin immediately deflates when he sees Sehun’s tall figure in the doorway.

“You okay?” he friend asks, taking careful steps in his direction, as if he was afraid of scaring him.

Jongin slowly nods, not knowing what to think anymore, before he lets his head fall backward against the wooden stall door. He just want to go home and lie in his bed.

“Yeah,” he breathes, closing his eyes.

“Did something happen?”

“Yeah,” he repeats just as quietly, feeling Sehun crouching next to him.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Okay... Lunch, then?”

Eyes still shut, Jongin slowly shakes his head.

“I’m gonna stay here for a bit,” he sighs.

There’s a silence, and then a rustling of clothes. He assumes Sehun is standing to go to the cafeteria on his own, but then something bumps on his shoulder. When he tiredly looks to the side, he finds his friend seated next to him, upper arm against Jongin’s own in a subtle reassurance that he won’t let him alone.

“Let me guess,” Sehun says with a faint smirk, glancing at him, “We’re rescheduling Call of Duty’s night, huh?” he says, extracting the first laugh in days from Jongin.

He sends a silent thank you to whoever decided to let him meet Sehun. The boy truly is a blessing, these days.

Now he just needs to figure out at one point exactly he screwed everything up. And if there still is something salvageable in this mess.

 

——

 

Jongin spends the entire weekend secluded in his bedroom, lying in his bed and staring at the ceiling. In his mind, he replays the images of their kiss in a never-ending loop, like a necessary self-inflicted torture.

He needs it. He needs to remembers everything, every single detail. How Kyungsoo tasted and smelt, how it felt to have his body pressed hard against his own, how the younger made him feel like he was the center of his universe, like everything around them had disappeared and timed had stopped, for a short moment.

He needs to remember.

He needs to remember to makes sure it was real, and not just a vision created by his subconscious.

He needs to remember so he won’t go completely insane.

His dad comes to check on him a few times, trying to pull him out of his trance with questions.

Did something happen? Do you want to talk about it? Is it about Kyungsoo? Can I do anything to help?

Jongin nods and shakes his head accordingly, keeping his lips sealed and his eyes riveted on the ceiling. A burning tear or two may have escaped and rolled down his temple, but if his father notices, he doesn’t mention it, leaving the room after gently caressing Jongin’s hair.

On Monday morning, he shows up at school with under-eyes bags deep enough to host people in them, earning a visibly worried look from Sehun. The younger however doesn’t say anything and silently settles at the desk next to his own, only glancing at him every now and then as the classes go by. He can vaguely feel Kris taking a few peeks too, from his left, but Jongin is too far gone inside his mind to even care or wonder.

He doesn’t eat much during lunch, and resumes taking notes like an automat during his afternoon classes.

He crosses path with Kyungsoo the next day in a hallway, noticing him in his peripheral vision after Sehun’s steps falter for a second.

He thinks the boy looks at him, but too afraid of being wrong, he keeps his eyes straight ahead and zombies his way towards his classroom. He couldn’t have born to realize he was being ignored once again.

Sehun occasionally tries to get him to talk, bringing up random topics, from new video games to the bad taste of the cafeteria’s pizza. Jongin only answers in short sentences, before losing himself yet again in the memory of Kyungsoo’s lips against his own.

It’s already starting to feel like it was all a dream, and he has to search deep inside his mind for the details he is forgetting, desperately clinging to the fleeting sensations that once burned his entire being.

He doesn’t sleep well, yanking himself awake as soon as he falls in slumber, afraid dreaming could erase the images of Kyungsoo’s body melting with his own.

They’re seated in the cafeteria on Wednesday, when Sehun seems to decide he has had enough of walking on eggshells.

“Jongin…” he calls, and the elder once again barely acknowledges him and only offers a hum, eyes fixed on his still full plate, “Listen, you need to snap out of it,” Sehun says firmly.

And Jongin knows his friend is only concerned about him, but at this point, he cannot bear to care anymore.

Sehun sighs, his metal chopsticks clanking on the table when he puts them down.

“Seriously, that pity party you’re throwing for yourself lasted long enough! I know you’re hurt, but-”

“You don’t know _anything_ ,” Jongin suddenly cuts him with a glare, “So don’t try and pretend you have any clue of how I feel,” he spits, vaguely conscious this is the longest sentence he has uttered in days.

Deep down, he knows he is not being fair with his friend, but a lot of things have been unfair for him too, lately. He is having a hard time trying to keep himself from either exploding or bursting into tears.

“I _do_ know that feeling sorry for yourself won’t help,” Sehun counters with a frown, looking finally done with Jongin’s behavior.

“Then what should I do, huh?” the elder retorts, teeth greeted, feeling the same anger from days ago resurfacing, “Tell me, since you seem to think you know better!”

“Don’t give me that attitude. You’ve acted like a ghost for days,” Sehun points out, clearly trying to stay calm, probably to avoid antagonizing Jongin, “I’m just saying wallowing in self-pity won’t change anything.”

“Then what should I fucking do?!” Jongin repeats in a growl, shuddering breath coming out in a barely controlled way.

“I don’t know!” Sehun exclaims, throwing his chopsticks in his tray, before he sighs and closes his eyes, clicking his tongue in annoyance, “I just… I don’t know, okay? But you can’t keep up like that. You need to…”

Sehun goes on, trying to offer some useless advice, but Jongin’s attention has suddenly shifted elsewhere. Now that he has left the bubble he had confined himself into, he finally acknowledges the world around him.

And what he finds a few meters away from their table is not to his liking. _At all_.

Right in the middle of the cafeteria, Kyungsoo stands, back turned to him, seemingly leaving the room. In front of him, Huang Zitao is blocking the access to the doors, eyes cockily running up and down Kyungsoo’s figure, a wicked smile twisting his mouth.

It seems like Jongin isn’t the only one who noticed, if the sudden silence in the large room counts as a proof. Next to him, Sehun’s stops talking too.

Jongin has met Zitao through Kris, the previous year. He isn’t exactly friends with him, because the boy is way too arrogant, and Jongin quickly realized his rudeness wasn’t something he wanted to have to deal with.

The guy is a bully, to put it simply. He loves to target everyone he deems deserves it, even though most of the time, the only reason seems to be them simply _existing_.

And today, it looks like he thinks Kyungsoo’s mere presence in the cafeteria is a valid enough reason to have a little fun.

Jongin can’t see Kyungsoo’s face, but he catches how straight his back is, arms stiff by his sides, stance looking like he refuses to back out, but still remains on his guard.

Zitao has done nothing more than intrusively eyeing Kyungsoo, but it’s enough to make Jongin’s blood boil. He wants to intervene, wants to march and step in front of his soulmate, so the boy will be hidden from the presumptuous stare. But Kyungsoo’s words as well as his own are still ringing in his ears. The younger doesn’t want to have anything to do with him, and Jongin himself told him he would stop trying. He already broke his word once.  
So he stays seated, every single muscle in his body tensing more each passing second.

“Look who we have here,” he hears Zitao say to the group of boys standing behind him, “How are you doing today, precious?”

“Fine. Can you move?” Kyungsoo answers in a dead tone.

“Oh, he talks!” Zitao obnoxiously laughs in a mocking tone, his minions following him in the act, “Hey, why don’t you find a better use for that mouth, mmh?”

From where he is, Jongin clenches his fists and grits his teeth when he sees Kyungsoo merely sighing.

His whole body is stiffening, watching the way Zitao is looking at his soulmate, the meaning of his words clearly written on his face.

“You could wrap those slutty lips around my cock, for example,” Zitao continues, “I‘m sure you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Jongin, wait!”

Sehun’s words are useless. Before he even knows what he is doing, Jongin is standing next to Kyungsoo, furiously glaring at the bastard in front of them.

“Oh, hey Jongin! You want your share?” the Chinese student casually greets him, before looking back at Kyungsoo, “What do you say, precious? Interested in threesomes?”

“Leave him alone,” Jongin says, trying his best to not shake in rage, “While I’m asking nicely.”

“Don’t interfere,” Kyungsoo quickly mumbles, clicking his tongue.

Jongin turns his head to look at him, silently shushing him with dead serious eyes, before glowering back at Zitao.

“What, you want him all for yourself? That’s selfish, dude,” Zitao scoffs, echoing laughs from his minions coming up right after.

“Don’t make me repeat myself.”

“Why don’t you mind your own business, mmh? Since when does the almighty Kim Jongin defend the little people?”

Keeping his eyes locked in Zitao’s, Jongin swiftly grabs Kyungsoo’s hand, finding it almost too naturally without even looking, before lacing their fingers. Right away, the younger tries to free himself, but Jongin only tightens his grip, squeezing it in warning to tell him to fucking _stop_.

He can see Zitao eyeing their intertwined digits before looking back up, and Jongin takes a deep breath and lifts his chin in a confident stance.

“Since he’s my soulmate.”

Those words have the effect of an actual bomb. The students previously whispering around them have fallen completely silent, lest the few gasps he can hear from behind him.

Zitao’s eyes are literally bulging out of their sockets, enough for Jongin to vaguely wonder if they’re gonna fall out and roll away on the tiled floor.

Of course people would be shocked. It’s still quite rare to find your soulmate so early in life.

“If you have a problem with him, then you have a serious problem with _me_ ,” he continues, tone deliberately austere.

Next to him, Kyungsoo sighs again, but Jongin subtly brushes the pad of his thumb against the boy’s knuckles, and from the corner of his vision, he can see him looking down at their hands for a few seconds. Right at that moment, a tall figure appears out of nowhere on his left.

“And a problem with me,” Sehun says, standing right next to Jongin.

“What the fuck?” Zitao exclaims, looking like he still thinks this is all a joke.

And quite honestly, Jongin might start thinking the same a few seconds later. Because suddenly, Kris is standing next to Kyungsoo, just a bit ahead, half-shielding the junior from Zitao’s view.

“And me,” he says, voice unwavering.

A quick glance at Kyungsoo confirms that the boy is just as shocked as Jongin is. What alternate dimension were they just thrown into?

“Yo, Kris, what are you doing, dude?” Zitao asks, clearly looking like he is waiting for the hidden cameras to show up, “Weren’t you the one who beat the shit out of him?”

Guts boiling, Jongin is a heartbeat away from jumping at the jackass’ throat and skinning him in front of everyone. But then, he feels Kyungsoo’s fingertips lightly digging in the back of his hand and for a second, Jongin’s brain short-circuits.

Long enough for Kris to counter.

“You’ll be next if you don’t shut the fuck up.”

In people’s mind, that would be solely considered as a threat. But somehow, in the way Kris shuffles just a bit further in front of Kyungsoo, Jongin understands the underlying meaning.

And really, Kris sucks at apologizing, but he is defending Kyungsoo, and Jongin is at least grateful for that.

Zitao looks positively shocked, so much that it’s almost funny. He looks at the four of them with a confused face, before his eyes settles on Jongin.

“Are you shitting me, right now?” he asks, voice pitching higher.

“Does it look like I’m joking?” Jongin retorts, and the guy blinks dumbly at him once again, but doesn’t reply, “Good. Anyone else got something to say?” Jongin asks in a loud voice, eyes traveling around the room.

As if knowing they better stay silent, lest he starts slaughtering anyone who would utter a single word, Jongin watches the students shake their heads and look away. He thinks he sees Joy smiling, but before he can really check, Kris is turning towards them.

“You guys go,” he says, nudging his head towards the door, “We’ll handle the chaos.”

“...Okay,” Jongin hesitantly replies after seeing Sehun nods.

This is the first time Kris has spoken to him since Jongin punched him, and although he would’ve liked to ask, Zitao is still there, and people have started whispering again all around. So Jongin tightens his grip on Kyungsoo’s hand, and with a nod, he starts walking.

Only to be stopped by Kris speaking up again.

“Hey,” the elder calls, but when Jongin looks at him, he is surprised to see Kris is looking at _Kyungsoo_.

Instinctively, his entire body tenses again, bracing himself and tugging his soulmate just a bit closer. He won’t hesitate to throw another punch if he has to. Kyungsoo tilts his head up to look at Kris, a guarded look on his face.

“For what it’s worth…I’m sorry,” the elder mumbles, clearly uncomfortable, “I didn’t know that Jongin and you were…you know…”

“...I told you it was an accident,” Kyungsoo says, giving him a pointed look, and Jongin frowns, wondering what the younger is talking about.

“Yeah, I know…”

“It wouldn’t make it okay even if we _weren’t_ , though,” Jongin counters, slightly pulling Kyungsoo closer to him.

“You’re right… I’m sorry. For real. I’ll make it up to you… To you both.”

Kyungsoo eyes the elder for a second, before finally nodding, and as much as Jongin would like to argue some more, if this is enough for Kyungsoo, then he guesses it is for him too.  
At least for now. He really doesn’t plan on letting Kris be anywhere near Kyungsoo for a long while.

 

After escaping the cafeteria, Jongin ends up sitting on the ground, his back against Kyungsoo’s locker, his soulmate next to him. They are not touching, or even looking at each other, but Kyungsoo is still close to him, enough for Jongin to feel more at peace than he had in days, weeks even.

He basks in the comfortable silence they fell into for a few more minutes, before subtly glancing at the younger, taking a moment to carve his features in his memory, studying the straight slope of his nose, his upper lip, thicker than the lower one, the thick brows casting a shadow on his large eyes.

He hurriedly looks away, however, pretending to study the hem of his uniform jacket intently, when said large eyes turn towards him. The younger snorts and Jongin mentally curses, feeling himself blushing for being caught. That was _so not_ smooth.

Once he is sure Kyungsoo has averted his gaze, Jongin clears his throat and tries to gather his thoughts and his chill attitude, so he will sound as nonchalant as possible.

“So…” he starts, and then completely blanks.

So much for being chill.

Jongin winces, cheeks heating up as he attempts to burn holes in his jacket with his eyes. He has waited to have a moment alone with Kyungsoo for so long, and now that he finally has the opportunity, and that the younger isn’t trying to leave, he can’t even find what to say.

“You’re a pain in the ass,” Kyungsoo states, out of the blue.

“What?” Jongin gasps, looking back at the younger who keeps his eyes on the wall in front of them.

When he realizes that, despite his words, Kyungsoo doesn’t look annoyed, he sighs, then shrugs.

“Okay,” he agrees, insides bubbling when he sees Kyungsoo trying to hold back a smile, “What’s your first afternoon period?” he then asks, just for the sake of hearing the junior talk again in that deep voice of his.

“Chemistry,” Kyungsoo answers, and Jongin fakes a gagging noise, earning yet another snort from his soulmate.

This, in turns, makes him internally beam. He loves knowing _he_ is the one making Kyungsoo laugh.

They fall silent after that, until the bell eventually rings, signaling the end of the lunch break.

Kyungsoo stands right away and starts walking down the hallway after vaguely waving at him. Seeing that, Jongin clumsily gets back on his feet and dashes after him, almost tripping in his haste and nearly bumping into him.

“What are you doing?” Kyungsoo asks, stopping to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Walking you to your class?”

“No one’s gonna jump at me after your little number in the cafeteria…”

“I know.”

“Then _what_ are you doing?”

“Walking you to your class,” Jongin repeats with a wide smile, as if it made absolute sense.

“Why?” the younger asks, chortling in clear disbelief.

“Because I want to?”

When all Kyungsoo does is stare at him, Jongin braces himself to be told to fuck off. But then, the younger rolls his eyes.

“You’re a pain in the ass,” he says again, giving him a pointed look.

“Yeah, we already established that earlier,” Jongin nods, “Let’s go?”

“...Fine,” Kyungsoo finally says after another pause, holding back a yet another smile before walking away again.

He knows he might look like a puppy, but Jongin can’t help but brightly beam and diligently follow Kyungsoo, taking steps big enough until they’re walking side by side.

 

——

 

3:47pm - From: **Dad  
**_Can you come to the hospital after school? I need to talk to you about something important._

  
For the umpteenth time, Jongin reads the message his father sent him earlier, confusion written on his traits. The bus should be here soon, since he has been waiting at the stop for ten minutes already, but it couldn’t be soon enough. The text sounds way too serious for his liking, and he has spent the entire afternoon diving in his mind to try and remember if he fucked up in any way since their last serious conversation. He finds nothing, though, and grows more and more anxious as time passes.

The sound of footsteps getting closer on his right compels him to lift his head, eyes widening when he sees Kyungsoo standing there, brows knitted together.

“Are you following me again?” the younger asks, eyes narrowing, but voice lacking its usual tinge of annoyance.

“What? No!” Jongin exclaims, shaking his head, “I was there before you!”

“...Right.”

“My dad asked me to come to the hospital,” he adds, mostly because he doesn’t want Kyungsoo to feel uncomfortable for assuming he was stalking him.

The junior only hums in acknowledgement, before turning to face the road.

“Are you going too? For another test?” Jongin then asks to fill in the silence.

“...No. Yoona had a dialysis appointment. My mom asked me to meet them there after school,” Kyungsoo answers just as the bus arrives, and after a quick look towards Jongin, he climbs in.

When Jongin enters the vehicle, he notices Kyungsoo chose a window seat and placed his backpack on his knees. So, hoping he is reading the invitation correctly, he walks down the alley and slowly sits down next to him. The younger doesn’t say anything, merely turning his head to gaze out the window, and Jongin relaxes.

At least he didn’t get kicked out of his seat. That’s progress.

The ride is spent in silence, with Kyungsoo looking lost in thoughts, and Jongin throwing glances at his face getting lit by the streets lampposts. They draw pretty glowing shapes on the shadows casted all over the younger’s pale skin by the December night sky.

They’re still quiet when they exit the bus, marching to the hospital entrance side by side, and the silence stretches even during the long elevator ride to the fourth floor.

“Jongin, Kyungsoo, hi!” the head nurse greets them with a big smile marking the wrinkles around her eyes, right as they arrive in front of the nurse office’s door.

A little confused about how she seems to know the younger, Jongin politely bows nonetheless, greeting her back, as Kyungsoo awkwardly stands a meter away after doing the same.

“Can I help you, dear?” she asks, not addressing one of them in particular.

“I’m here to see Yoona,” the junior asks, and only then Jongin realizes, or rather remembers, that Kyungsoo has indeed been coming here a lot in the past few months, and that is most definitely why she knows his name.

“Room 422,” she replies, her smile still as bright, “She’s been really talkative today,” she then adds with a fond chuckle.

“When is she not?” Kyungsoo answers, and the affection is so evident in his voice that Jongin cannot help but be stupidly jealous.

“Do you know where my dad is?” he inquires, just to erase the pout he can feel on his own lips.

It apparently doesn’t hide the slight bitterness in his tone, though, considering the glance Kyungsoo throws at him, one brow raised and the other frowning.

“In that room, actually!” the head nurse answers, seemingly unaware of the scene in front of her.

“Alright, thank you,” he quickly says, bowing his head, “We...we’ll go then,” he ends, eyeing Kyungsoo before walking down the hallway.

As soon as they stand in front of the large door, Kyungsoo knocks and immediately grabs the handle, turning it without even waiting to be invited in.

“I’ll just...wait for my dad here,” Jongin says, vaguely pointing at the bench not too far away.

Kyungsoo merely nods and pushes the door open. Jongin doesn’t have time to walk away, though, when his dad’s voice echoes in the room.

“Nini!”

With an internal wince at the childish nickname, Jongin watches Kyungsoo freeze, before the boy’s eyes travel back and forth between his father and him, twice. Realization sparks in his gaze, and the younger quietly chuckles, trying to cover his amusement by clearing his throat.

“Come in too, please,” Jongin father then says, effectively killing Kyungsoo’s hilarity.

“Uhm...okay…”

After another frowning glance in his direction, Kyungsoo finally steps inside the room, Jongin on his heels.

Spotting the two women he assumes are Kyungsoo’s mothers, he is about to bow and introduce himself when a little girl’s voice suddenly booms from the bed.

“Oppa! They took my blood again!” Yoona says, proudly showing off the band-aid in the crook of her elbow to her brother.

“Did it hurt?” Kyungsoo gently asks, making his way by her side.

Instinctively, Jongin takes a few steps forward, following him until the boy leans in and pecks the top of her head. He freezes, and awkwardly shuffles on his feet, wondering if he maybe should back away a little, but ultimately deciding against it.

He likes being next to his soulmate. And Kyungsoo hasn’t pushed him away, yet, so Jongin intends on enjoying it as much as he can, while it lasts.

“Yes, but I’m a big girl, so I didn’t cry!” the little girl claims, “They took a _lot_!”

Instantly, Jongin sees worry paint Kyungsoo's features as he looks up to his moms.

“Everything is fine, don’t worry,” Jongin’s father reassures him right away, “Just a check before the dialysis, to see if we needed to adjust her treatment,” he adds, and Kyungsoo’s nods, looking relieved.

“Weird oppa!”

Holding back a groan and trying not to scrunch his face too much, Jongin eyes Yoona.

“What?” he sighs, earning a chuckle from the three adults in the room.

“Did you follow my oppa again?”

“No I didn’t!” he exclaims, heart missing a beat when Kyungsoo snorts, “It was only once!” he whispers to the younger, as if no one else would hear him.

Eyeing Jongin, Kyungsoo raises a brow, and the elder pouts.

“Okay, twice,” he corrects himself, “Shut up,” he whispers again when Kyungsoo’s eyebrow goes even higher.

“I didn’t say anything,” Kyungsoo scoffs, a smug look on his face.

“I didn’t follow you _today_!” Jongin exclaims in a loud whisper.

“Congratulations,” Yoona butts in, giving him the sassiest look Jongin has ever seen on a child’s face.

Apparently, it runs into the family, Jongin thinks as he gapes at her.

“Yoona, be nice to Jongin,” one of Kyungsoo’s mom softy scolds the little girl, and Jongin’s head whips towards her, wondering how on earth she even knows his name.

Could it be that Kyungsoo has told them about him?

The sudden bubble of joy floating in his stomach however pops, when he sees the younger looking just as surprised as he is.

Of course he wouldn’t have.

He still has no idea why his father called him in the room, so he just patiently waits as Kyungsoo starts talking with his mothers, staring at the moths flocking behind the window, attracted by the light inside the room. Until his soulmate’s shocked voice brings him back in focus.

Kyungsoo eyes are open wide, and Jongin looks towards the adults to try to understand what caused it.

“Wait, like...a _permanent_ house?” Kyungsoo asks, pitch going just a tad higher, but enough for Jongin to notice, and know the younger is seriously taken aback.

Which, in turn, starts to make _him_ anxious.

“Yes, I think it would be better,” Kyungsoo’s mom says, “At least until you’re grown up enough to take care of yourself. Then maybe we’ll go back to Canada with Yoona, and you can stay here,” she adds with a smile.

Jongin is confused, to say the least. He has no clue what the conversation is about, but Kyungsoo’s astounded face isn’t helping to ease his nerves.

“But _why_?” the younger asks, “Why would only _I_ stay?”

“So you can be with Jongin, of course,” his mom replies with a heavy English accent, as if it was obvious, “We wouldn’t take you away from your soulmate, Twinkle.”

“What?”

“What?!”

Both teenagers’ voices overlap, the same level of surprise clearly audible in their tone. So many questions are running through Jongin’s mind. The biggest one being how they ended up finding out about their bond, if Kyungsoo hasn’t mentioned it.

It doesn’t take long, however, before he is given an answer.

“Sorry,” his dad chuckles, looking anything but, and Jongin’s mind instantly put the pieces together.

He had asked his father not to talk to Kyungsoo. He had forgotten to specify not to say anything to the younger’s _moms_ , either.  
Of course he would try to help his son. That’s what he has always done.

But deep inside, Jongin cannot help but be thankful. Even more now that he knows he could have an opportunity to keep Kyungsoo by his side.

The simple thought makes his chest tighten, a wave of warmth engulfing his heart and spreading through his veins with each beat.

“Yoona is excited about it!” the younger’s mom then says, brushing the little girl’s bangs away from her forehead, “But...is that okay with you, sweetie?” she asks, looking up at her son.

In the blink of an eye, warmth is replaced by panic. Yet, Jongin does not dare looking to his left. He is too scared to see Kyungsoo’s reaction, too afraid to find a displeased look on his face.

However, he cannot help but subtly leaning on his side, until their shoulders almost touch. Then, slowly, carefully, shyly, he lets his knuckles brush against the back of Kyungsoo’s hand.

In his mind, it’s a never-ending plea that echoes, down to his soul.

_Please, say yes. Please. Please, stay with me. Please. Don’t leave._

It feels like hours have passed, when he feels Kyungsoo catching his index finger between two of his own digits. Then, from the corner of his eyes, he sees the younger nods, hesitantly at first, then with more assurance.  
And Jongin never thought a simple head movement could bring him so much happiness that he feels like his racing heart might explode.

He doesn’t need to look at the younger. The simple contact is more than enough. At least for now. If his soulmate allows more.

 

It’s less than an hour later that he eventually gets to talk to Kyungsoo. He is seated at the massive desk in his father’s private office, a pile of books stacked in front of him, when the younger quietly pushes the door open. Jongin is not sure how he found the room, or how he knew Jongin was there, but he doesn’t question it, eyes leaving the page of the book to stare in awe at his soulmate.

Kyungsoo looks a bit uncomfortable, standing in the doorway, so Jongin offers him an inviting smile, to show him he has his undivided attention, and is free to come further in, if he wants to.

This seems to be enough for Kyungsoo to finally take a few steps forward and take a seat in the chair on the other side of the desk, causing Jongin to mentally curse at the furniture for getting in the way.

“What are you reading?” Kyungsoo asks him in that deep voice Jongin has come to love so much.

He lowers his eyes on the medical book he borrowed from one of his dad’s colleague, before looking back at Kyungsoo.

“Well, after the surgery you’ll only have one kidney left,” he nonchalantly says, seeing confusion delicately paint the boy’s features.

“So?”

“I’ll have to keep it healthy for the rest of our lives,” he shrugs, trying to sound way more casual than he really is at the mere thought of being with Kyungsoo for that long, “So I’m learning what kind of food is good for that.”

For a few seconds, he watches in delight as Kyungsoo’s face turns surprised, before the younger tries to hide it, clearing his throat and leaning back in the chair.

“You cook?”

“Of course!” he answers, puffing out his chest and exaggerating his cocky expression, “Ask my dad, I’m real husband material!”

He expected Kyungsoo to laugh at him. Or to just roll his eyes and shake his head. But he couldn’t have anticipated the response he gets.

“What kind of proposal is that?” the younger asks instead, raising a skeptical brow as he smirks.

It takes a few seconds for Jongin to realize what his own words implied, and he stupidly blinks at his soulmate. Kyungsoo is _teasing_ him. _Again_.

Somehow pleased, he shakes himself out of it and shrugs once more.

“The practical kind?” he suggests in a light tone, deciding to play along.

And Kyungsoo does end up rolling his eyes at that.

“Yoona’s right. You’re weird,” he says, but there is no bite in his tone, only evident amusement, further confirmed by the up-curve of his full lips.

“I’m not!” Jongin protests, feeling happier than he ever remember being.

And Kyungsoo’s low-toned laughter only intensifies his delight.


	6. Epilogue

Lying on his bed on top of the sheets with his eyes closed, Kyungsoo sighs in content at the cool air from the AC grazing his bare arms and his stomach, were his shirt has been folded up.

It’s the first summer he has spent in Korea, and although knowing it would be hot, he didn’t expect the air to be so suffocating after the rain season ended.

Thankfully, his moms had counted air conditioning as a necessity when they went house hunting, and he couldn’t be more grateful, since it makes the warmth from the body lying against his much more bearable.

A loud and cute giggle coming from the room next to his reaches his ears, just as a fingertip glides along his lower stomach, making him twitch.

“Stop it! It tickles,” he says to the digit’s owner, earning a chuckle, warm breath fanning on his skin from where the head rests on his chest.

“But it’s pretty,” Jongin softly counters, finger still tracing the purplish mark.

For some reason, Jongin has developed a weird fascination for the scar Kyungsoo got from the surgery, two months ago. It still dark and a bit tight, running on a slight curve from about fifteen centimeters on the right side of his navel, to the center of his lower abdomen.

It is rather long, and still really visible, but Kyungsoo wears it proudly.

The scar is a reminder of the sacrifice he made, just as much as the happy laughter coming from Yoona’s room. And it will forever remain one of the best choices he ever made.

Followed right after by the decision to welcome Jongin in his life.

Not that Kyungsoo expected anything else, but he is still surprised about the way the elder has been here for him along the way. He was there when Kyungsoo got taken down to the operating room, and he was the first face Kyungsoo saw when he woke up.

An everlasting presence by his side. A strong arm, curling around his waist the first time Kyungsoo got on his feet, the day after the surgery. A large hand, bringing him whatever he needed during his stay in the hospital. A set of attentive eyes, constantly watching, checking, concern and protectiveness lighting them up. A soft voice, whispering quiet encouragements. A gentle smile, making everything easier.

When he woke up one morning, three days after the surgery, and found Jongin sleeping in the armchair next to his hospital bed, his back bent in a weird angle, Kyungsoo realized how stupid he had been. He had tried to fight this so hard, to keep Jongin away from him, hurting them both in the process. And it had been so useless.

Reflecting on it, Kyungsoo doesn’t think it even has anything to do with the soulmate bond.

It’s just Jongin.

Jongin being himself, and making it impossible for Kyungsoo not to want him. Not to need him.

Of course, he isn’t one to openly chant out his feelings and smother his now boyfriend with sweet and cheesy words. He prefers showing how he feels more subtly. And although Jongin still gives him that puppy-eyed look whenever Kyungsoo teases him too much, it usually doesn’t take long before he is back beaming at him, making Kyungsoo’s heart silently swell.

So Kyungsoo rolls his eyes as the elder keeps tracing the scar up and down with a light touch, before shutting back his eyelids.

He doesn’t really mind the tickling sensation, anyway.

“So…” Jongin trails a few minutes later, right as the summer sun reaches low enough for a ray to come in through the window and draw a golden halo around his dark brown hair, “Did you think about what university you’re gonna apply to?”

Momentarily distracted by the light revealing the reddish undertone in Jongin’s hair, Kyungsoo nods, before remembering his soulmate can’t see him.

“Yeah,” he answers instead, eyes roaming on the random hair strand sprouting up and slightly swaying in the air-conditioning induced breeze.

“...And?”

Focusing on the conversation, Kyungsoo can clearly hear the anticipation in Jongin’s tone. The opportunity is too good not to take it.

“I was thinking McGill, or British Columbia,” he casually declares, knowing it won’t take long for the words to sink in, and already predicting his boyfriend’s reaction.

Just like he thought, the fingertip on his abdomen freezes, Jongin’s entire body tensing against his own.

“...Wait a second… Those are both in Canada…”

Checkmate.

“Yeah!” he nods, adding a slight excitement in his voice, just for the sake of being more convincing in his act, “They have a pretty nice Biochemistry program.”

“But they’re both in _Canada_!”

When Jongin suddenly raises his head from his chest and props his upper body on his elbow to look at him, clearly offended, Kyungsoo forces himself to hold back his smile, merely humming in response.

“You’re joking, right?”

It’s becoming less easy to keep a straight face, but Kyungsoo manages to, shrugging as if it was not a big deal. Until a look of sheer panic paints Jongin’s face, eyes fidgeting and lips parted.

“B- but… You…”

The way he looks, both speechless but with also too much to say makes Kyungsoo finally cracks, and he snorts loudly, face scrunching.

“Kyungsoo!” his soulmate exclaims when he eventually understands he has been joking all along, “It’s not funny!!!”

“Okay, okay, relax,” the younger says, hand smoothing the sprout down, “I’m kidding.”

“Don’t scare me like that!”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t look sorry at all…” Jongin retorts, eyeing him suspiciously until Kyungsoo smirks and shrugs yet again. The elder sighs, and ends up lying his head back on Kyungsoo’s chest, still facing his stomach, “I was already trying to think how I would get transferred over there…”

“You literally know no more than five sentences in English,” Kyungsoo chuckles, just imagining how lost his boyfriend would be, “I don’t even know how you passed that class in high school.”

“Yeah well, why do you think I was panicking?!”

“Cause you’d be sad to be so far away from me?” he suggests with a smug look, even if Jongin doesn’t see him.

The next second, he feels the warmth of Jongin’s fingers twisting the skin of his side, right before the elder lets out a hiss and rubs on his own ribs.

“Did you try to pinch me _again_?” he laughs, Jongin’s head getting shaken on his chest, “You really still don’t get that concept of you- _can’t_ -hurt-me, do you?”

“Shut up…” Jongin retorts like the mature nineteen-year-old he is.

So Kyungsoo does just that, shaking his head as a fond smile stretches his lips. His soulmate is way too easy to tease.

“My college has a nice biochem program, you know?” Jongin speaks up again, after a good ten minutes of silence, during which he kept on lightly caressing the scar.

Fingers running along the elder’s nape in the same pattern, Kyungsoo’s smile turns into a smirk at the exaggerated nonchalance in Jongin’s voice, clearly proving this boyfriend is anything but.

“Oh really?” he asks, deciding to play along, because the elder seems to be _asking for it_.

“Yeah…”

“And why would I choose to go there?”

“Because they have something special those Canadian universities don’t have!”

Kyungsoo knows exactly where this is going. Jongin is a lot less subtle and chill than he thinks he is.

“And what is that?”

“Me, of course!” Jongin says, and Kyungsoo can feel his soulmate smiling with the way his cheekbone presses against his stomach.

This is too easy.

“You said it was something _special_ , though…”

Once again, it takes only a second. A new twist on his side as Jongin tries to pinch him again, followed by a low hiss and a quiet groan when the elder feels the pain himself. And Kyungsoo cannot help but laugh.

“Wow, you’re dumb!” he says between two chuckles, “How do I un-soulmate you?”

Elbow sinking in the mattress again, Jongin half-lifts himself up and turns a scandalized face towards Kyungsoo.

“You can’t! You’re stuck with me!”

The dramatic sigh Kyungsoo releases at those words brings an adorable pout out of his boyfriend, lips jutting out as he looks down at Kyungsoo with furrowed brows.

“Okay, stop acting like a kicked puppy,” the younger says, a secretive smile grazing his lips as he looks at his own fingers picking up a loose thread on the shoulder stitch of Jongin’s t-shirt, “I already applied to your college.”

As if a light had been switched on, Jongin’s eyes suddenly sparkle.

“You did?” he gasps, sounding both surprised and delighted, “When?!” he inquires when Kyungsoo nods.

“A month ago…”

“And?!”

“Well I have to wait for the CSAT to be sure…” Kyungsoo starts, leaving his words trail for a few seconds, just long enough for Jongin’s to start looking apprehensive, “But I got a positive pre-response, so I think it’s-”

He doesn’t get to finish. Lips crashing on his own effectively cut his sentence short, and he ends up chuckling against Jongin’s mouth before kissing him back.

He loses himself in the sweet citrus scent enveloping him, loving to smell his own shower gel on Jongin’s skin, and not even minding the way his skin feels clammy where his boyfriend’s hands touch him.

It always happens, whenever they kiss. The explosive spark igniting his heart. Or his soul, he should say.

It only lasts a few seconds, before his entire being relaxes, a quiet simmer vibrating under his skin.

But it always, _always_ starts with that burst. The exact same he experienced, the first time Jongin kissed him, months ago, in that school bathroom.

And it always reminds him how he felt, back then. As if he could finally breathe, lungs coming back to life after being deprived of oxygen for weeks. He never told Jongin why he pushed him away, that day. The elder never asked.

But Kyungsoo remembers. He remembers the fire catching deep in his guts, and how it had set him alight, scorching everything in its path, more and more as he tried to fight it.

Everything had disappeared, apart from Jongin and the taste of his mouth. It had felt so right, as if this was exactly where he was meant to be. And Kyungsoo had been so surprised, that he had let his guard down. Only for a second. But it had been enough for him to almost kiss back.

That’s when panic had stricken him, the image of Yoona flashing in his mind, and in a heartbeat, his hands had flown up to shove Jongin away.

He used to think walking away from Jongin was the hardest thing he had ever done. But that was nothing compared to the moment he forced them apart.

The elder didn’t know, still doesn’t, but when his lips broke away, they took a part of Kyungsoo with them.

He was so furious at himself, for almost giving in, for nearly ruining everything.

Jongin had started screaming at him, and the anger in his soulmate’s eyes had echoed with his own, too loud, too deep inside him.

But the worst, he vividly recalls, had been to see that flicker of regret in the elder’s eyes, when he seemed to realize what he had just done. It was long gone when Jongin began shouting, but it had been there, and it engraved itself behind Kyungsoo’s eyelids, his mind not even registering the words yelled at him.

Jongin had looked like he _regretted_ kissing him. Like he wished he wouldn’t have done that.  
When Kyungsoo had been wanting to push the elder against a wall and steal his breath away. For _weeks_.

That, more than anything, had compelled the step forward he took. And before he knew it, his whole body was on fire, consumed by the taste of Jongin’s lips, once again. Breathing in him, fighting and surrendering, pushing as Jongin’s pulled.

He remembers all of it. And he knows he always will. Even if the feeling is different, now, when they kiss. More peaceful, like a slow hum resonating deep in his core.

He will never forget. Because the spark comes back, every single time. Almost as a reminder. So he doesn’t forget what he nearly destroyed, with his stupid stubbornness.

Jongin eventually leans away, and Kyungsoo is once more blinded by the bright smile coming into view, when he opens his eyes.

“We’re really gonna study at the same college?”

“Unfortunately…” he nods, just because he cannot help teasing the elder. When Jongin quickly leans in to bite his shoulder, and immediately lets out a curse at the pain he inflicted himself, Kyungsoo bursts out laughing once more, “Oh my god, you _are_ fucking stupid!” he cracks up, knowing Jongin will remember those words he threw at him, many months ago.

“You’re still stuck with me!” Jongin brags with a smug look, before lying his head back down on Kyungsoo’s chest, arms squeezing his waist for a few seconds.

Tangling his fingers in Jongin’s hair, Kyungsoo listens to the content sigh his boyfriend lets out, hot breath yet again gliding on his bare stomach.

“I guess I can live with that,” he says quietly, as if it was a secret only meant for himself to hear.

“Good,” the elder answers in the same tone, before his finger goes back to tracing the lowest part of the scar, right where it disappears under his pants.

“Seriously, stop that!” Kyungsoo says, cackling and tugging at Jongin’s hair, because the light touch is still tickling him, making his abdomen twitch weirdly.

It is not a bad kind of weird. On the contrary. It’s the kind of weird that feels a little _too good_. The kind of weird that sends tingles under his skin, blood simmering right under the surface. The kind of weird that makes him want to grab Jongin by the collar of his shirt and bring him closer, until their body melt into each other under the summer sunrays.

But Yoona is in the next room, and it wouldn’t be appropriate for a five-year-old little girl to hear her brother and his boyfriend moan through a wall as they make out. His moms would never let him hear the end of it. They already scolded the both of them a few month ago, after Yoona asked why Jongin had a “ _bruise_ ” on his neck, at the dinner table. He doesn’t want to go through that discussion again with them.

“But it’s _pretty_!” Jongin repeats, head shuffling just a little, further down Kyungsoo’s stomach, “It looks like…”

“A kidney transplant scar?” Kyungsoo provides, because that’s what it is.

“A happy banana.”

“What?” he bursts out laughing, his chest jolting hard enough for Jongin’s head to bounce a few times.

What is going on in his boyfriend’s mind, really?

“Yeah, it’s just slightly curved,” the elder explains seriously, fingertip tracing the purplish line, “As if the banana was happy and straightened up, instead of sadly slouching.”

As he speaks, Jongin’s back illustrates his words, spine subtly stretching and then curling back into a more natural position.

Kyungsoo shakes his head, a new chuckle coming out of his lips.

“Since when fruits have feelings?”

“Not just fruits. Have you ever seen a cashew?” Jongin asks, and Kyungsoo already knows his next words are gonna sound silly, and most likely make him laugh, “It looks like a peanut who didn’t have an easy life.”

At that, Jongin decides he needs to mimic what a cashew looks like, bringing his arms up and linking his hand, then folding his body in a C shape, as best as he can while still half lying on top of Kyungsoo.

And just like he predicted, the younger ends up laughing, the sound flying up and floating in the summer air.

“How does your brain work?” he asks, still chuckling, “Yoona’s right. You’re weird.”

This is something Kyungsoo tends to tell his boyfriend _a lot_. Something Yoona herself likes to remind Jongin. And the answer usually comes in the form of a scandalized “ _I’m not!_ ” that Kyungsoo pretends to brush off, and makes his sister giggle.

This time, however, Jongin merely shrugs as he positions himself more comfortably.

“I guess you’ll have to live with that, too,” he simply says with a disconcertingly serene confidence.

“...I guess I don’t really mind,” Kyungsoo eventually answers, because he finds that he really doesn't, every day a little bit more.

Full lips press on the highest part of his scar, lingering over his skin in a featherlight caress, making his insides twitch again, muscles tensing for a second.

Kyungsoo’s hand tangles in Jongin’s hair as he tries to push his head away, but in a heartbeat, his boyfriend his hovering above him, body entirely pressed against his own, their nose brushing as he captures Kyungsoo’s eyes, staring deep into them with a bruising intensity.

Time slows down, just for a moment, as he watches so many emotions swirl in the elder’s dark gaze.

Then Kyungsoo lifts his head and crash their mouth together, hands pressing against Jongin back to bring him closer as he takes his soulmate’s lower lip captive between his own.

A hand grazes his side, lifting his shirt just a tad higher, a thumb brushing the skin on his ribcage, as Kyungsoo’s own palms slip under Jongin’s t-shirt, up until he can feel the smooth roll of his shoulder blades when the elder lowers himself a bit more.

“I love you,” Jongin whispers against his lips, so quietly Kyungsoo wouldn’t have heard him if they weren’t so close.

“I guess I don’t mind that either,” he answers in a breath before closing the distance.

Kyungsoo is indeed not one to openly chant out his feelings and smother his now boyfriend with sweet and cheesy words.

But the way Jongin’s lips curl up against his own, the way his arms sneak around his waist, holding him oh so close, Kyungsoo knows he understood.

It has nothing to do with the soulmate bond. It’s just Jongin.

Jongin being able to understand him, even during silences.

Jongin accepting him, with all his flaws and his attitude.

Jongin being here, whenever, wherever, and no matter what.

Or maybe it’s the both of them.

Kyungsoo giving him all he has, and Jongin giving him all he is.

And as Jongin places a kiss right under his ear, before returning to his lips, tightening his hold until their bodies meld, Kyungsoo knows he really, truly doesn’t mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tadaa! *jazzy hands*
> 
> Here you go! It wasn't supposed to be that long, but it kinda happened.  
> If you made it until here, thank you so much for reading this story!  
> I hope you liked it! Don't forget to tell me if you did, I wanna know, and it only takes a few seconds!
> 
> Have an amazing day, evening, night, wherever you are in the world!


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